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There Goes My Pride

@thereaderoffanfics-blog

I'm trying something new here, so constructive criticism and feedback is welcome.
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drhermannhottlieb

The most Brian May sentence I’ve ever read in my life

is Brian May issuing this monumental understatement about why he couldn’t complete his Ph.D. thesis in 1974 as though anyone reading fucking Brian May’s thesis isn’t gonna fucking know

“REGRETFULLY, I WAS THE LEAD GUITARIST IN QUEEN”

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hoopdiddydiddyhoopdiddydo

I love this man so much.

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Napoleon Solo x Reader | Screwed

A/N: AHAHAHAHA I’M BACK with a TMFU fic, so I’m trying something a bit different this time. I got the idea from a fanfic I read on wattpad but can’t remember the name of. I really hope you like it, and if you do, there is going to be a part 2, and part 3, and possibly more depending on how long it takes me to wrap up the story. That’s it, enjoy the story! (Also I just now reread this and I realize that it’s really shitty so I’m really sorry off that, I’ll try to make the next parts better)

Pairing: Napoleon Solo x reader (female)

Summary: Waverly and Gaby make a bet with the reader that she can’t make Illya smile or Napoleon be genuine, so she decides to focus on Napoleon.

Word Count: 1,431

—————-

You hate being the rookie.

You hate the exceedingly low expectations, you hate the sympathetic looks you get whenever you do something even the slightest bit wrong, and you hate hearing the line, “it’s okay, you’ll get better eventually.”

As much as you hate being the new agent, you may have found yourself a way out of the pity pit. This is how it went down; after enduring another complaint session about being the “new kid”, Waverly had decided to make you a deal. After he had thought it over with Gaby, the two of them had decided that they would have a wonderful time watching you try to win over your mentors. He had told you that if you could either make Illya smile or share a genuine moment with Napoleon, then you would be upgraded to a full-fledged agent. Now that was a deal you couldn’t say no to.

Of course, accomplishing both tasks would prove much too troublesome, so Waverly told you to choose only one of the two men to be your mentor. That choice took some consideration; flirtatious or unfeeling? Smooth or gruff? After a solid five minutes of thought, you had made your decision. You would take your chances with Napoleon.

————–

You approach the two men in the room that you usually hold your training sessions in, starting to talk before you get interrupted by Illya. “Get your gloves on and square up, I don’t want this to take as long as it did yesterday,” the tall blonde huffs. Napoleon quirks a brow as he teases, “Why, you got places to be, Peril?” The tall Russian glares at the smaller man and begins to step toward him before you intervene, stepping between the two agents. Crossing your arms, you say, “Well, technically, you don’t have to be here, Illya, so if you’d like, you may take your leave now.” Napoleon’s eyebrows shoot up at this, a grin beginning to spread across his face as he asks, “Are you implying that you finally chose me as your full time mentor?” For a split second, you think you see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but seeing as the man is extremely hard to read, you begin to doubt yourself, deciding that you had just imagined it.

“Uh huh,” you nod at him, smiling a bit too wide in the hopes that he would, by some miracle, come forward and open up to you about how happy he was to be training with you. You notice Illya leaving the room out of the corner of your eye, slightly jumping when your mentor shouts, “See you later, Peril!” When you look back to Napoleon with the same uncomfortably big smile plastered on your face, he asks in an uncertain tone, “Hey, rookie, you sure you’re okay to train? You look like you’re trying to smile through your pain.” At this comment, you let your smile drop as you raise an eyebrow at the man.

“What? Oh! I’m sorry, uh, no, I mean, yes, I’m fine to train,” the words stumble out of your mouth about as sloppily as possible. Way to be awkward, Y/N.

“Great, just try not to be as clumsy as your mouth is when we get to hand-to-hand combat; I don’t need you tripping over yourself while I have you in a chokehold,” Napoleon comments half playfully, but half serious, too. You bite the inside of your cheek before replying, “Got it.”

Yet another smile appears on Napoleon’s perfect face. “Then let’s get started.”

————–

After a few tenuous hours of target practice, Napoleon finally lets you begin combat. You hadn’t really taken notice before, but the way he moves is very impressive; he could be standing in front of you, helping you with your stance one second, and then the next second he would be directly behind you, demonstrating the attack that you were to counteract. Although you were having a lot of fun practicing with him, Napoleon started to wear you down pretty quickly.

“Hey, uh, can we take a quick break?” you ask in between short breaths. “I’m kinda thirsty,” you finish. You can tell that Napoleon wants to keep going, but he nods and stands with his arms crossed as he watches you go fetch your water bottle. You do your best to ignore his gaze, but you eventually look over at him out of curiosity.

“What?” you ask after drinking half of your water in one gulp. He shakes his head. “Ah, nothing. It’s just- no, it’s unimportant,” he refrains from telling you what was on his mind, so you squint at him before setting down your water and walking back over to where he stood.

“Okay…? Now, what were we doing?” you ask as you push your hair out of your face. He looks at you for a few seconds as if he’s waiting for you to say something, but before you get the chance to ask him what his deal is, he advises, “Keep your body low and spread your legs out more,” he uses his foot to shove your feet wider apart, “making sure to point your toes forward so that there’s less of a chance of you losing your balance.” You nod at his guidance, doing your best to commit the information to memory.

“Now when the attacker comes from behind-” you cut Napoleon off before he can finish his sentence, asking, “Can we stop using the term ‘attacker’? It just, it feels kinda weird I guess? Like, can we give the person a name?” Napoleon raises his eyebrows at your request. “Sure, I don’t see why not. So, when… Peril, comes from behind,” he continues to inform you, smiling slightly when you giggle at his name choice, “he’s going to put one arm around your neck like this,” he loosely hooks his right arm around your neck from behind, “and then he’ll have his other arm right here, so that he can use it to latch onto with the opposite hand. This is the final chokehold form.”

As he tightens his hold a bit so that it’s not completely unrealistic, you take a sharp breath and place your hands on his right forearm, looking up at him for further instruction. “No, don’t put your hands there; I mean, if anything, you should be putting your hands somewhere else on my body, if you know what I mean,” he says with a smirk. At this, you glare up at him and stomp on his foot- hard- causing him to release his hold on you and stumble back, having a seat on the floor as he clutches his foot in pain.

“Jesus fucking Christ, rookie, what’d you do that for?!?” the usually tough man yelps. “Why do you always have to be such a pervert, Napoleon?” you cross your arms across your chest and glare down at your mentor. “Only my mother calls me that,” he mutters as he tends to his hurt foot. “Oh my god,” you breathe in disbelief, then correct yourself, “Okay, fine; why do you always have to be such a pervert, Solo?” He raises his hands up in defense. “I was only joking! You should know that by now, you’ve been here for a month, haven’t you?” You nod slowly at this question, gesturing for him to continue. “Look,” he stands up, “I say a lot of things, but I usually don’t mean them. I am genuinely sorry that I upset you.”

You blink. Did he just use the word genuine? You absentmindedly murmur, “That was easy…” Napoleon’s eyes light up when he hears you say that. “I knew it!” he exclaims. Your eyes widen and you look at him in surprise. “You- what?” you question as his excitement confuses you. He shakes his head at you disapprovingly, grinning nonetheless, though admittedly it’s more of a smirk. “Peril overheard your conversation with Waverly; you know, your little talk about getting a promotion. He let it slip to me that you and Waverly had a bet to see if you could make Peril smile or me be genuine. Well let me tell you something,” he leans in close to you, speaking his next words in a low voice. “You should’ve picked Peril.”

You’re frozen in place, unable to speak or do anything in your defense. Napoleon straightens up and pats you on the shoulder, strolling out of the room as he calls out over his shoulder, “Better luck next time!”

You then realize, much too late, unfortunately, that you. Are. Screwed.

#tmfu#the man from uncle#the man from u.n.c.l.e.#napoleon solo x reader#solo x reader#Napoleon x reader#Napoleon solo
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ddetrimental

help me out guys. reblog this, like this. for every note, everything is pushed back a day for him. I need your help. he doesn’t believe it’s possible to help him. but it’s entirely possible, especially with your help. I know these are so sporadic and cliché to an extent along with becoming so popular on here, but please. I appreciate every single note

Source: ddetrimental
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iamryanhenly

Parents should not be reading your journals

Parents should not be searching through your trash 

Parents should not be snooping on your private social media messages 

Parents should not be taking your bedroom door off 

Parents should not be invading your privacy 

reblogging this because when they go through my phone and find my tumblr they’ll see this

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becausedragonage

As an actual mom, I approve this message. If your parents say it’s a normal part of parenting, no. No it’s not. They are wrong.

Once, in math class, someone in our group asked if she was spoiled not to have her parents check her messages. One of my friends said yes she is spoiled, because it happens to her often. I came in and said that, no, she isn’t spoiled. A parent should not invade their child’s privacy. Its common courtesy and it can lend to serious trust issues for the child. All my friend said was “That explains a lot.”

Even now, at the age of 13, she has trust issues because her parents check her phone. Its not a normal part of parenting whatsoever.

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cinnamonbuneliza

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. This should be in the tumblr laws. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
If you ever want to talk: My tumblr ask is always open.
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thatonehamiltonblog

Mon Amour

A/N: Hey y'all, this is my first Hamilton fic so please forgive me if it’s crappy. Also, if you haven’t already scrolled past this and read it all the way through, feedback would be great! And btw, this was so fun to write, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. xoxo

Pairing: Lafayette x reader, platonic Hamilsquad x reader, briefly mentioned Mimi (@hamilsquadxreaderwritings) x John Laurens, Modern!AU

Summary: Lafayette has some questionable contacts on his phone, and the Hamilsquad finds out who one of those contact names belongs to.

Word Count: 2,900+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You absentmindedly tapped your foot on the concrete, trying to come up with some excuse to meet up with your friends. It was getting dark, even though it was only five o'clock, but the days had been getting shorter since it was fall after all. However, this meant that you had to think of something soon so you weren’t stuck outside in the dark with nothing to do. You pulled your phone out of your hoodie’s pocket and checked the lock screen for any new messages; only a reminder from Alex and Hercules to finish writing your script for the play you had agreed to help them with.

You rolled your eyes and started to text them back, but stopped moving your thumbs when you heard someone approach you from where you sat on the sidewalk. You tilted your head up to see who had walked by, and were pleasantly surprised to see it was Lafayette.

“Lafayette!” You said cheerfully as you stood and brushed your pants free of the dirt from the ground. Lafayette grinned and held his arms out. “Bonjour, Y/N,” he greeted you as he engulfed you in a bone-crushing hug. Although his strength made it hard to breathe, you returned the embrace nonetheless, inhaling his familiar scent.

After standing in the middle of the sidewalk wrapped up in each other’s arms for a moment too long, you finally let go; he followed suit and took a step back so as to see you better.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to come back from France for another week?” You accused jokingly, prodding his chest with your finger in a teasing manner. Lafayette held his hands up in defense. “What can I say, I’ve missed seeing your pretty face, chiot.” You blushed at his comment, but tried to disguise your pinkishness as the result of being cold.

You held your arms and started to rub them up and down so it would seem like you were trying to stay warm. “Brrr, it’s cold out here isn’t it?” You attempted to maintain your facade. Lafayette’s face twisted into one of confusion, and you could’ve sworn there was a hint of well hidden hurt in his face too. “Y/N, I am not Burr, it is me. Lafayette, Laf, Laffy Taffy… your baguette? Remember?” You stared at him with a blank expression; did he seriously not know what it meant when someone said ‘brrrr’ in cold weather? “Y/N, you are scaring me. Are you feeling alright? Do you need me to take you home? I could stay there with you if you’d like to make sure you get better.” His words finally registered in your mind.

“What?” You started to say. “Oh, no! No no no, you don’t need to come to my house. In fact, I was just about to head over to the Hamilhouse to ask Alex for help with a school project.” The Hamilhouse was the large home that the boys all shared, and they each took turns paying rent. “Oh, I see. You wouldn’t mind if I accompanied you, would you?” Laf asked innocently, his face still looking a bit confused. “Of course, I’d love it if you walked there with me,” you told him honestly. “Parfait!” The French man exclaimed excitedly, holding out an arm for you to take. You hooked your left arm through his right one, and you began your walk to the Hamilhouse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knocked on the door for the third time, still to no avail. Frowning, you stuck your hand in your back pocket, searching for your key to the house. “Dammit,” you muttered under your breath. “What’s the matter, mon cher?” Lafayette asked with a concerned expression, placing his hand on your shoulder. “I, uh, forgot my key at home.” You looked up to him with a sheepish grin as you played with your sleeves nervously. His worried expression quickly turned into an adoring smile.

“Do not fret, chiot, I have my key right here,” he assured you as he reached into his coat pocket and fished out his key. You couldn’t help but sigh in relief as you watched him unlock the door and swing it open. You stepped inside and slammed the door shut after Lafayette had entered behind you, and you shouted “WHAT HAS YOU SO BUSY THAT YOU COULDN’T BOTHER TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR US??” The two of you then proceeded to kick off your shoes and run upstairs, towards the sound of your yelling friends.

You walked over to John’s bedroom and swung the door open; you and Laf were met with the sight of Alex, John, and Hercules all watching Disney Pixar’s Cars. “Why would you say that!! You just jinxed yourself dude!” John yelled frustratedly at the television screen, his protests were followed up by Herc’s popcorn getting thrown at the TV.

You heard Lafayette struggle to stifle a laugh at the scene that played out in front of you, but failed miserably as his laughter reached the ears of the boys that had previously been very focused on the movie they were watching.

“Laf!” The boys all shouted, scrambling over to the door to engulf him in a giant group hug. “Bonjour, mes amies,” your French friend said happily, a goofy grin on his face. “I thought you weren’t supposed to come back from France for another week?” Alex questioned him as they all released him from their holds, repeating the exact words you had asked him only a half hour ago. “That’s exactly what Y/N said, too.” Lafayette said with raised eyebrows. John laughed at this, nudging Alex with his elbow as he said “I told you, Alex, you and Y/N are basically twins at this point.”

You cleared your throat and piped up “I’m pretty sure Alex would have noticed his twin’s presence by now if that were the case,” you raised an eyebrow at their lack of acknowledgement towards you. Your comment caused them to look over at you, finally noticing your presence. “What am I, chopped liver?” You said with a sly grin. “Y/N!” The boys shouted in unison, turning their attention towards you as they drowned you in a sea of arms. “Okay, okay, no need to suffocate me!” You squeaked as their tall frames just about swallowed you up whole. They released you from their grips after you said this, and you looked past their shoulders at the movie they had been watching.

“Looks like somebody wanted a blast from the past,” you laughed at the boys’ widened eyes. Hercules scrambled over to the remote, then frantically attempted to pause the movie and turned back to you, stepping in front of the screen to hide it from your view. “Ah, you were too late anyway; the credits were rolling, ya know,” you said with a smirk. “Aw, man,” John grumbled and all three of the boys wore disappointed looks.

“Hey, I know you originally came here to ask for homework help, Y/N,” Lafayette said, addressing you. You spun around to face him, having almost forgotten he was there. “But maybe we could all watch another movie, you know, to celebrate my return,” he continued with a hopeful look in his eyes. You and the rest of the group all agreed that Laf’s suggestion was a good idea, and since Lafayette was the one that you were all celebrating, he got to pick the movie.

“How about Back To The Future? I have heard that this is a very popular film here in the US,” the French man suggested. “Yeah, back in the 90’s,” John muttered under his breath. You slapped his arm and gave him a scolding look, hoping Lafayette hadn’t heard his comment. “That sounds like a wonderful choice, Laf, I’ll set up the living room for the movie,” you assured him with a sweet smile. Laf nodded his head enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. “Parfait! I’ll go pop the popcorn,” he said before rushing off to the kitchen which was several rooms away. You smiled after him, following him with your eyes as he sped away, but then noticed that he had left his phone on the couch when his screen lit up with a notification.

“Hey, Laf, someone texte-” You were cut off by John’s hand clamping your mouth shut. “Shhhh, this is a prime opportunity, don’t let it go to waste,” your childish friend whispered to you, grinning mischievously. You removed his hand from your mouth. “John, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea… what if he finds out?” You said cautiously, your voice unsure.

“Pfff, it’ll be fine. Just a harmless joke, ya know?” Laurens reassured you just as Alex and Hercules entered the room. “What’s a harmless joke?” Hercules asked, already looking excited to see what plan his friend had come up with. John smiled proudly, then went over to pick up Lafayette’s phone as he mouthed an ‘I told you so’ to you.

“Eliza texted our poor little baguette; he doesn’t even have a passcode on his phone; and we are going to respond for him.” Alex and Herc each responded with an ‘oooh’, and soon enough the four of you were neck deep in your oblivious friend’s messages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, he has my contact info saved under the name Tortue, what does that mean Alex?” John asked your other bilingual friend. Alex snorted and translated “It means turtle boy.” “Oh, well that’s not too bad I guess,” Laurens said with a shrug. “Hey, who’s ‘Loud Bodybuilder’?” Hercules asked in a voice loud enough for Laf to hear from the kitchen. “Shhh!!” You and Alex shushed the loud man.

“Probably you, Herc,” you said, giving him a look over. You all froze in your positions huddled over Lafayette’s phone when you heard him call from the kitchen “The popcorn’s done, I’m going to use the bathroom and then we can start the movie, oui?” “Okay!” You and the boys shouted back in unison. All four of you instantly eased up when you heard the bathroom door close.

“That was a close one,” John sounded relieved as he ran a hand through his curly hair. “Hey, maybe that’s a sign that we should stop,” you suggested, not wanting to lose your friend’s trust. “Can we just text one person? Pleeeeaaase?” The three boys pleaded, giving you their best puppy dog eyes. You sighed, but gave in anyway. “Fine, but just one person, okay?” You said sternly. They all nodded excitedly, and continued to scroll through his contacts with eagerness.

“Who would’ve guessed our Laffy Taffy knew so many people?” John wondered aloud as he swiped through ten more names. “Wait- stop scrolling!” Alex just about shouted. “Quiet!” Hercules shout-whispered, effectively getting Alex to speak more quietly. “Sorry. But look, let’s text ‘Mon Amour’,” the overly thrilled man tried his best to stay quiet whilst jumping up and down impatiently. Your heart lurched when you saw the name, wondering who your crush’s love was.

The boys looked over to you for approval, and you closed your eyes and nodded slowly. “Whatever, but make it quick- he’s gonna come out of the bathroom any second now.” John nodded in agreement and frantically composed a new message to ‘Mon Amour’, but before you could see what he had typed, you all heard Lafayette emerge from the bathroom.

John panicked and hit send as fast as he could, then fumbled to turn off his phone and get into a natural position like the rest of you had. Just in time, Laf walked into the room holding three bowls of popcorn and said enthusiastically “Who’s ready to watch a movie?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About halfway through the movie, Lafayette turned on his phone to check the time and mumbled, “That’s strange, why is it on airplane mode?” Your eyes grew wide and you shared a nervous glance with John, who looked just as worried as you did. You looked back over to see Laf turn it back to normal, and you let go of a breath you didn’t know you had been holding when he shrugged and put his phone back down.

Just as he set his phone down, however, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, so you pulled it out to see who had texted you. Strangely enough, the message was from Laf, and it read ‘Mon amour, my love, I have loved you for a very long time, and I would like to confess my feelings for you. If you do not return the affections, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love.’ You caught Lafayette looking over at your screen curiously, and upon noticing that the sender of the text was ‘My Baguette’, his brows furrowed and he picked his phone back up to see his message history with you.

All of this happened in silence, so the others were unaware of the current events that were unfolding. When you looked at his screen and saw the name above your chat history with him, your heart skipped a beat; you were ‘Mon Amour’.

Your eyes travelled up to meet Laf’s, and the realization that you were in love with each other sunk in for the both of you. You opened your mouth to say something, but when no sound came out, Lafayette smiled lovingly at you and told you quietly “We can discuss this after the movie, mon amour.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of the movie, you had become rather sleepy and had almost forgotten about your and Lafayette’s newfound love for each other. When you drowsily looked up at him, however, he met your gaze and he said in a comforting voice “We don’t have to talk about this tonight if you are too tired, chiot.” You nodded and thanked him for understanding, then crawled over to where he sat on the couch and curled up against his side.

As Lafayette began to play with your hair, your eyes fluttered shut, and you soon drifted off into a deep sleep, the last words you uttered being “I love you, my baguette.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lafayette looked down at you with such love and adoration that the boys couldn’t help but comment on his sudden gushiness. “Awww, someone’s in love,” Hercules teased. Laf looked up at him and glared, annoyed at his antics. “Tais-toi, muscle man,” the French man retorted.

“Hey, what’s the matter lover boy? You feeling defensive?” John pushed him even further. Laf’s glare was redirected to John, but he said nothing, hoping his silence would get them to stop teasing him. He thought wrong.

Alex decided that that was a good time to pipe up, so he said “Look at the lovebirds, they’re almost as inseparable as Mimi and John!“ At this, Laurens scowled and gave Alex a glare, but he just shrugged in response.

Finally breaking his silence, Lafayette said “There’s still one thing I don’t understand… when Y/N and I first reunited, she called me Burr. Has she been associating with him while I was away?” He looked around at his friends in horror as he said this. “Woah woah woah, she what!?!” Hercules said angrily. “Hold up, before anyone jumps to conclusions; context please,” Alex requested calmly.

“Well, I was telling her why I came back from France,” he started, leaving out a few of the unnecessary details, “And then she said 'Burr, its cold out here isn’t it?’ What does that mean?” They all sat there in silence as they replayed what had just been said in their minds. Then, out of nowhere, Alex burst out laughing, which earned him a few confused looks from his friends, but he calmed down when he noticed you shift in your sleep.

“Dude, she said brrr, as in b-r-r-r, you know, it’s what people say when they’re cold. I can’t believe your jealousy blinded you from such a simple statement’s true meaning.“ Alex explained all of this while smiling like a total maniac. “Oh,” Lafayette looked embarrassed, but also relieved that the love of his life was all his.

“Alright, this has been fun and all, but I’m going to bed. Good night guys.” John said with a wave as he stalked off to his bedroom. Hercules followed suit, and Alex wasn’t far behind; Laf, however, stayed seated on the couch with your head on his chest, your arms wrapped around his body.

He reached over your body and grabbed the edge of the blanket that was covering your feet, pulling it up so that the rest of your body was covered up too. Lafayette then switched off the lamp that was next to where he sat, and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before settling into the couch. With a sigh of content, the last thing he said that night was “Je t'aime, mon chiot.”

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thereaderoffanfics-blog

If you like Hamilton in addition to Supernatural, @thatonehamiltonblog is my Hamilton blog for those of you interested.

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