I want some gay, gay it's gonna be

When Anne Bonny and Mary Read spend all of dinner trying to murder each other sexually and then burn their house down

the thing that gets me about the barbie movie being framed as an "anti-men" movie is that it's fundamentally untrue to the message it's sending out. the movie is an empowering feminist piece as much as it is a cautionary tale about men letting their insecurities and doubts about their place in the world lead them to falling into the alt-right/incel/mra pipeline. it's looking out for men just as much as it's looking out for women, and the only reason you might find this as an "anti-men" message is because you somehow deeply believe that this is the wrong message to send

hopping on the bandwagon w my pathetic lil man + babygirl

manzuoxi photographed by kevdre

funniest art interaction i’ve ever seen

the thrilling sequel

Life is so beautiful idk why I’m on tumblr lol

if you're an author I wish you a very bigolas dickolas

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

Reblogging this again because so many people seem to miss the point: the point isn’t “don’t get married” or “Prince Charming doesn’t exist.” The point is that 50%+ of marriages end in divorce and it’s naive to think “oh, that’ll never be me.” That’s what this video is about. It’s about thinking that you’re the exception because you’re special. You’re not. 

“But I am! Everyone tells me that I’m special. I’m beautiful and smart and funny and I’ve done everything right. These bad things would never happen to me!” 

Watch the video again. 

True, you might be lucky and you might live a fairy tale life. But what if you didn’t? 

I’m a woman turning 40 this year, and I’ve lived a fairy tale life so far. I met my future husband in high school and we’ve been inseparable ever since. We supported each other through all-nighters and final exams in college, celebrated each other’s first jobs, traveled the world together, kissed under the Eiffel Tower and snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef. We got married and had two beautiful children who get compliments and free candy everywhere they go. We have jobs that give us personal satisfaction. We have a little place to call home that we own free and clear. We still hold hands after 20+ years together. 

Despite all this, I still have a backup plan in case anything ever goes wrong. 

Why? Because I just need to look at my mom and her generation to see what could easily happen to me, and what happens to many women. My mom did everything right too. She was young, beautiful, smart, hardworking, and kind. She went to college, got a job, got married, and had kids. She cooked, she cleaned, she drove us to piano lessons and art lessons. She showed up at our recitals and she was there on graduation day. 

And she was miserable. (Still is.) Because the happiness that was promised to her if she did all this, if she sacrificed her life for her husband and her family, if she was a good wife, did not materialize. Instead she was left an old, lonely woman in a loveless, debt-ridden marriage. 

My father was not a bad man. He never beat or abused my mother, he didn’t do drugs or drink excessively, he had no gambling or other vices, he was present in our lives, and he brought home a paycheck. But he was also stuck in a marriage where the love had fizzled under the never-ending burden of dishes and laundry and mortgage bills. Under arguments of whose turn it is to clean up the kids’ vomit and why did you spend money on this and how are we going to pay for the new transmission now. So when a younger woman started giving him attention and didn’t care why he forgot to take out the trash yet again, he started buying gifts for her. Expensive makeup, Louis Vuitton handbags, and the like. He was sad and lonely, and the woman was sweet to him. Meanwhile, my mom who was trying to get us to all of our dentist appointments and parent-teacher conferences, got nothing for Christmas. (She didn’t get him anything either.)

My father was not a bad man. He looked like a good man when they got married. I see their old photos from when they were young, before they had kids and a mortgage, and they looked happy. It hurts to look at their hopeful faces and know how things turned out in the end.

My mom’s story is not unique. All of my aunts are either depressed, divorced, or stuck in loveless marriages. Same with my friends’ parents. My mom recently reconnected with some friends whom she had not seen since college, and these five women were shocked to discover that they all had the same story: graduated from school, got jobs, got married, had kids, and became good wives, only to be bitterly disappointed by their husbands’ lack of partnership. They did what they were supposed to do, they carried their families on their backs, and they ended up with very little to show for it.

This video is about how common this scenario is, especially for idealistic young women who believe that this would never happen to them because they’re special. My mom was special too. So were my aunts. Everybody thinks they are special. Everybody thinks they’ll be the one to beat the odds.

And maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones. My mother looks at me, and she’s told me point blank, “You have a better fate than me, and for that I’m grateful.” When I look at my mother and the women of her generation, I see the lessons they learned the hard way and paid for dearly so that I can learn from their experience and avoid a similar fate. That’s why I cringe when I hear young women dreaming of a traditional life where they put their whole lives into their husband’s hands. I want to shake them and say, “Did you learn nothing from your mother’s sacrifice?!?!”

I still dream of living a fairy tale life, of growing old with my husband and being surrounded by our children, but I don’t forget the lessons of the women in my family who came before me. I have my own career, I have my own savings, I have no debt, I have maintained my health, I have maintained my own interests, and I have maintained my own social relationships. I can walk on my own two feet if I have to.

The point isn’t to not believe in fairy tales. The point is, don’t be so arrogant and naive to think that you are owed a fairy tale life. You aren’t. Work hard to build the life you want to live, but do it with your own two hands. Don’t blindly put your entire life into someone else’s basket, because it’s easy for someone else to let you down. Carry your own fucking basket, because you never know when you’ll need to be able to walk on your own.

Your point is great. However, ~50% of marriages do not end in divorce - that was a generation ago, when no-fault divorce was new and many people sprung to leave their partners legally for the first time ever. It’s actually a smallish number now - 2.5 out of every 1000 in the USA, or 0.25%.

When looking at WHY marriages end you get 50% divorce - the other 50% being a big chunk of death, then annulment, and then invalid marriage, then desertion

one of my biggest pet peeves that's come out of the last few years of pop culture discussion is people justifying their unprompted relentless hatred of random prominent women using the phrase "idk she just has mean girl vibes to me". never referencing specific actions or events, just Trial By Vibes.

me: hey 

tumblr classics major who really likes halsey and thinks that the romantic poets were the only people to ever make contributions to english literature: you once made flowers grow within my ribcage but you were like icarus flying too close to the sun and your ichor wings are melting and now divinity stains your bronze fingertips like a pomegranate and you are holy holy holy 

tumblr polls will be like WHO IS MORE ANNOYING AND AWFUL: kanasmilkers1488, the neo-nazi who has deleted five times and remade and spends seven hours a day harassing people on tumblr OR mou5eg1rl, the 20 year old trans woman who lives in norway and makes informative posts about egret migration patterns, and then mou5eg1rl will be winning by a 10% margin

every time i see discourse about pedohysteria amidst a trans genocide i think about that news article from 2016 about the mexican immigrant who voted for trump because trump said he’d get rid of all the “bad hombres” from mexico, only to be deported himself because it turns out what trump was really saying was that he wanted to deport all mexicans, not just “the bad ones”

not just him, but there were many other examples too, like white conservatives who have mexican immigrant friends and family or people in the community important to them who were mexican immigrants, and they voted for trump because they thought trump was just getting rid of “criminals”, and then they regret it when their families and communities get torn apart by deportations of their spouses, their friends, their favourite restaurant owners, etc.

anyways, i hope young queers, trans people esp, understand that when conservatives talk about “pedophiles” and “groomers”, they’re not talking about actual child abusers, they’re talking about all queer people. they’re talking about all trans people. it’s why in florida, they’re categorizing “drag” as a child sex crime, and making sex crimes against children punishable by death. they’re trying to execute every single trans person, and that’s just the rhetoric they’re using

so stop buying into the pedohysteria. it’s easy to think “well, i’m not a pedophile, so i’ll be safe” when you don’t realize that in the eyes of conservatives, every single queer person is a pedophile and deserves death, and contributing to their rhetoric by trying to figure out which trans woman is a pedophile is just accelerating your own march to the gallows

the context feature is so fucking funny i hope this fucks every single advertiser ever for the rest of time

FINE PRINT UNDER EVERY AD BY THE END OF 2023

This one hovered around my heart for over a year <3 

Though it can seem daunting, a range of noted thinkers from Karl Marx to Ice T agree that in such scenarios it is necessary to hold your friend to account for their misdeeds. Both for their own sake and for society writ large.

it is universally the funniest thing on earth when you make a post and someone you have never met before tries to bug you about whether your post was secretly a coded message about some insular online discourse you have never heard of. you could say like "people should stop throwing rocks at birds" and an hour later someone will reply like "i cant tell for sure but i think op is vagueposting about k*rkn1ps... disappointing tbh :/" GIRL WHAT?????

i have become a victim of tumblr pvp.

oH MAN I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO SHARE

I FINALLY GOT TO USE THE ‘well i don’t trust the government’ AGAINST AN ANTI-MASKER THIS WEEKEND

i was buying wood at the camp ground and the store clerk pitched a bitch fit about not being able to understand me through the mask and then rolled her eyes and informed me we don’t have to wear those anymore bc the mandate’s already been lifted

AND THE LOOK ON HER FACE

WHEN I LOOKED HER STRAIGHT IN THE EYE

AND SAID

“oh, well I don’t trust what the government says. I’d rather make up my own mind.”

UNO REVERSE MOTHERFUCKER

ID: tweet from @ShotgunWife with text reading “just some ideas” followed by a meme image of a generic, black mask overlayed with the following text.

keeping wearing a mask because it’s fun…

use these lines when asked “why are you wearing that?”

“it’s a free country, I ain’t no sheep, no government gonna tell me when I can wear a mask, my body my choice, it’s for religious reasons, I’m just ugly fuck off.”

The last line of text in the image reads by “now it’s our turn”.

/End ID

responded to a customer with a southern accent why I still wear one with “‘Cause I look like the wrong end of a dead donkey.” using the smallest bit of a twang in my voice, and he stopped, blinked a few times, and went “A'ight. fair ‘nuff.”, nodded, and then I helped him pick out a leaf blower while he self consciously put his hand over his mouth.

[ID: Post by @greelin “like I’m ever going to let some absolute godless pervert see the bottom half of my face again. in a TARGET, no less”]