No, you can’t ship Jonsa and stan Dany. The two are incompatible. It’s one thing to say “you can stan Dany and Sansa”, because of course as far as the books go, that’s true! Dany and Sansa have independent storylines, have important aspects in common, and probably won’t have much time to interact, let alone have the kinds of “cat fights” the show depicted. In all likelihood, Dany and Sansa will only share a few lines together in the books, so stan both as you please (but stop expecting everyone to stan both).
However, Jonsa as a ship is entirely dependent on hating Dany, stealing from her, and ensuring that Jon (or another character, Arya or Tyrion) kills Dany. Most times this also involves either the deaths of her dragons or Jon (or someone else) taking her dragons. Go ahead and take a look at every single Jonsa shipper on here, AO3, twitter, etc––nearly all of them despise Dany. It’s not just that they have a neutral stance toward Dany; it’s that they explicitly and viciously hate her. Most anti-Dany metas are authored by Jonsa shippers. They are the originators of the “political Jon” theory, a disgusting and vile theory that posits that Jon would manipulate Dany sexually for the sake of Sansa/his family/his own ambitions. These shippers have no problem openly stealing from Dany’s arc for their fics and meta while also making tons of content dedicated specifically to hating Dany. They also come up with the most vile rhetoric about Dany, e.g. that Dany “rapes” Drogo or Irri, that Dany is a “Nazi slaveowner”, etc.
Shipping Jonsa means interacting with the people who create or espouse this content; it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. By stating that you ship Jonsa, you don’t actually like Dany. It is not possible to ship a pairing that is entirely built on demonizing, demeaning, and sidelining Dany, and “stan Dany” at the same time. I don’t say this about other Jon ships, like Jon/Val or Jon/Arya, because the existence of those pairings isn’t predicated on wanting Dany dead and to go mad. I don’t say this about pairings like Jaime/Brienne despite those fans mostly hating Dany either, because once more, J/B exists entirely independently of Dany and isn’t predicated on wanting Dany dead (with the exception of some J stans who want Tyrion to fulfill Dany’s treason for love prophecy by betraying her to save J so that J/B can be endgame). So it’s not just about the shippers hating Dany, or shipping Jon with someone else, because you can easily ship Jon with Arya, Val, Satin, Ygritte, etc and not hate Dany; it’s that Jonsa, specifically, derives its justification and raison d’etre purely on hating Dany and longing for her to go mad. If you look at the fans who cheered on show!Dany’s death, Jonsa shippers are at the #1 spot.
There is truly no way around shipping Jonsa and somehow “ignoring” that literally all Jonsa shippers happily hate Dany and create/reblog content to demean her or rail against her, and that most Jonsa theorizing rests entirely on stealing from Dany. If you ship Jonsa, you can’t be a Dany stan, and you can cry about it if you want but my suggestion is to stay in your lane and stick to Jonsa if you’re willing to ship a pairing whose shippers say such gross things about Dany.
