Hm

many people have been complaining about the surge of porn bots… personally i havent noticed… however i have seen a rise in increasingly beautiful and mysterious women who wish to court me

i place my nuts face down in defense position

mozart

Bite me as hard as you please, and make me see stars. I am yours to use.

imagine a burger saying this haha

spilled pasta on my toes

call that feetuccine

three inches in my drawers

packin teeny weeny

I don’t know why people hate Hamilton so much this shit slaps

im the dj screaming w laughter

I think about this at least once a day.

working in customer service be like

scooby: raggy! shaggy: like, what is it scoob? scooby: *starts shitting on the sidewalk* shaggy:

please delete this im trying not to fucking cry in public

Details: Mid Ocean and The Ocean, ca. 1900, by Frederick Judd Waugh.

God: let there be light

Moths:

I love the implication that moths somehow existed prior to the creation of the universe

i am in lov with @subwayhands instagram……it’s like u get to see little bits and pieces of what each person is like

When you’re a DM and accidentally do a crit on one of your players, making them give you That Look of Betrayal

i forgot that singular dice are called die and this still made sense