So like most lonely people I went through a Voltage game phase. Brief, like 2-3 months. (For my ADHD ass that’s brief. But I was also trying to find what worked so yeah)
I particularly enjoyed (at the time now I find the concept outrageously creepy and off-putting) Kissed by the Baddest Bidder. Since I was and still am poor (and also would’ve rather swallowed glass than buy the chapters and allow my brothers to see it since we all shared an iTunes account) I played through all the free chapters and relied on the kindness of strangers who uploaded their routes to the internet before they were all wiped off it. (Nothing but respect for MY military 💁🏼 no saluting emoji this is as close as I can find)
Now what brings me here before the council today…I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY EISUKE ICHINOMIYA HAS THE HAREM HE DOES. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE. HE’S JAPANESE CHRISTIAN GREY WITHOUT? THE BDSM. HE’S WORSE THAN CHRISTIAN GREY. HE IS DEMANDING, RUDE, SELFISH, MISOGYNISTIC AND ACTS LIKE HE’S BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE HE’S RICH. WHEN MC PURSUES A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM (LADY YOU SHOULD’VE RAN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS FROM ALL OF THEM) HE IS SO CONDESCENDING AND PATRONIZING AND INFANTILIZES MC. IT FEELS LIKE HE’S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CHILD. WHICH IS SO WRONG. WORK AT ANOTHER HOTEL MC. HOLIDAY INN IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT. LOWEST RANKING.
Another bidder (hate using that because it’s so cringe but it’s true) I hate (only slightly less than Eisuke) is Ota Kisaki. He is a little shit (even though he’s 24, grow up dude). I fucking hate how he treats MC like a FUCKING PET. That is so dehumanizing. I have lost 3 beloved cats (one of old age, one of cancer and one because my high ass brothers released him into the wilderness and he’s been missing ever since) but you will not catch me collaring my s/o and calling them Manny, Duke and/or Travis. (Which are all human names. Whoa.) That’s freaky weird. Go to therapy Ota. 6th place.
Tied with Ota is Hikaru. Even though he shares the same first name as one of my favorite wrestlers he gives off a dangerous vibe and would for sure leave you in a ditch, either dead or framed like a picture for his multitude of crimes. Seek help Hikaru. Also 6th place.
I don’t enjoy Luke. Luke is a huge creep. Stop jacking it to collarbones. (Though it was nice of him to help out that dying person.) Still more tolerable than Eisuke, Ota and Hikaru. 5th place.
Soryu comes in fourth because while he does get some pretty notable character development and growth I can’t really excuse the whole mafia thing or him putting MC in danger so he doesn’t die. (What? He excuses women from his mafia stuff? NO HE FUCKING DOESN’T THAT’S HIS WHOLE FIRST ARC BITCHES!) However, Mei Ling is a sweetie pie and I love the puppy bodyguard (forget his name, it starts with R). Also Ice Dragons remind me of my old Webkinz pet, Frosty the Ice Dragon. (I had 19 Webkinz pets before my account shut down in 2015!) 4th place.
Number three would be Mamoru Kishi. He was actually my favorite during my time in this godforsaken hellhole I mean fandom but I’m older now. He would actually still be my favorite if it weren’t for the fact he was a cop. I abhor cops. And I abhor cops with a vigilante attitude. I’m sorry your partner died but if you think that no one is above the law then cops aren’t either, just like the people you abuse and kill under your job. He would be lower here if it weren’t for the fact he’s just so damn likable. Also his age is a problem because he’s either 30 or 35 getting in a relationship with someone in their early 20s. 3rd place.
Mitsunari Baba is a sweet gentleman who never puts pressure on MC or makes her feel coerced (despite her horrific circumstances she should definitely run away from). Plus he’s a thief! A thief in capitalism! However he’s second place because he’s way older than MC (MC is implied to be in her early 20s and Baba is 30 or 35 depending on the version.) Large age gaps are very uncomfortable for me. 2nd place.
Didn’t see much of Shuichi’s route. He seems pretty okay, non too shabby. Might enjoy quilting which is always a plus. Unless the quilt is made of human skin. Then that’s a minus. He’s an honorable mention.
And number one ranking goes to Rhion Hatter! He’s a cinnamon roll, age appropriate and has kind intentions. He just wants to be LOVED dammit. LOVE HIM! TAKE AWAY EISUKE’S LOVE SO RHION CAN HAVE IT! Plus he wears lipstick and is confident in his masculinity at the same time. Say it with me, kids, makeup is gender neutral!
I did NOT intend on making a KBTBB ranking but I did. On accident. Now the world will know my real feelings. Or they won’t if they ignore me. Oh well. I have said what I needed to say.
