Hey. Consider.

Rabbits as an aroallo symbol.

"being queer is about love" hmm actually being queer is about defying societal norms about gender and sexuality and does not depend on feeling love at all

spot on!!!!!

having a crush as a mostly aro person transforms me into a disgusting half crazy beast of a man. I feel like I'm war torn, I feel devastated and sick to my guts.

i have this thing i call "attraction dysphoria" bc i realized that a lot of times when i'm attracted to people as an aro person it leaves me with the same type of icky feeling as gender dysphoria and rsd do. not sure how much other people resonate with this but maybe it's useful !!

This 👌 close to writing a book with an alloaro main character in a lesbian QPR, just for me

people collectively reinvent slut shaming every other month in new terminology. "noooo I don't think she's a disgusting slut...I think she is participating in casual sex toxic hookup culture and this makes her used and corrupted untrustworthy" do you hear yourself at all💀💀

i'm gonna say it. tons of people are way too insecure for any sort of romantic relationship and unaware of that fact

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

This is sort of tangentially related but the association leads to the idea that if someone is hurting you they don’t really love you, and that if you really love someone it’s impossible you’ll hurt them, despite it being demonstrably false.

very much related!! i didn't speak on this aspect of the issue very much in the original post because i wanted to initially put focus on a lack of love being neutral, but the love = morality mindset 100% does damage when it comes to a heroization of love and an inability to reconcile love and harm. all of your points are very real. would also point out an assumption that if another person Really Loves You then they wouldn't want to/can't really be hurting you, which can make it really difficult to recognize harm when it happens in relationships. a lack of love does not preclude the presence of goodness, and conversely, the presence of love does not preclude the presence of harm.

"isn't a queerplatonic partner just a best friend" please tell me the difference between a girlfriend and a wife aside from the paperwork

I was never a very social young person. I was very anxious and awkward and antisocial, and I liked to fantasize about love. As I got older and came out of my shell somewhat, I got more comfortable being around people and made friends, and realized that I felt the same way about all of my relationships. I was just happy to be with people, to have fun with them, to do normal people things, and in this I realized that it was not a partner I really wanted, I just wanted to be part of a community, a social group, and at 31 I still can't tell the real difference between romantic relationships and platonic ones(which is part of why I also ID as aplatonic). If there is a difference and it's not just being excited to be with a person(s) and have fun with them, then I don't even care anymore. It's all the same to me. If I look forward to being with someone in any sense, isn't that enough? Whether we considered each other romantic partners, or friends, or something more nebulous, if we're just happy to be there, that's fine.

I do not actively want romance, I just don't want to be alone and I want to know that my existence makes people happy.

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

an aromantic person is someone who (fill in the blank here) // april 10 2024

This is what the aromantic flag stands for btw (sources: dude trust me)

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

I'm excited to announce that us aros no longer have the problem of our tag being completely taken over with ace posts - because it's been replaced with a new problem! now our tag is completely taken over by motherfucking hazbin hotel.