So... Yeah um... Here it is I guess

Not what I expected coming from John Green

I said what I said.

i get so freaked out by like. pictures of really big rope

I’d like to say that’s normal but I’m a frayed knot

i’m so fucking annoyed at this, just for that you don’t get photos of the rope

i changed my mind, this is just too horrifying not to share

it’s called a Hawser and is the thick cable or rope used for towing/mooring a ship

in conclusion, i have nightmares beyond description

NO it would NOT be cool

well i fucken disagree

@scumrunner do you have any cursed facts about hawsers to share ?

As a fiber nerd, i am personally very enthusiastic about them….

Ohhohohoho DO I EVER. Meet the “snapback zone,” not an area with cool hats, but instead the unintuitive range at which a hawser can kill you if it breaks under tension.

What if we kissed in the snap-back zone? 😳 😳 😳

I don’t think you guys understand how much force this is, a tow rope used to move a 20 foot boat snaps under tension with enough force to dent metal, shatter glass and seriously injure anyone in its way. A Hawser on the other hand… Well I’ve seen a concrete pier with a chuck the size of a sedan ripped out of it by a line failure, and anecdotally, I’ve heard of a 2 ton heavy cargo forklift being skidded sideways, then knocked over. These lines snap with enough force to noticably dent the hull armor of navy ships.

This is a line designed to hold in place a moving object that can be easily in excess of 10000 tons. AND THEY CAN BREAK FROM THAT TENSION ALONE.

THESE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING RUBBER BANDS FROM HELL.

Nope Rope

I’m once again reminded of its much smaller cousin, the haywire.

You’ve heard of the term, “Going haywire,” right? Ever spared a thought to why that term exists?

See, time was there was a prototype automatic hay-baler. But this was in that magic period juuust before we really got into standardized sizes. So calibration of the machine was handled manually - a mix of guessing and learning from the results of guessing. If you’ve read Raising Steam by Sir Terry Pratchett you know that many people don’t get to learn from the results of their own guesses, due to being dead.

A poorly calibrated hay-baler had the mechanical strength to smush the hay into a tight bundle, wrap the wire around it, and tie that wire off to maintain the bale’s form. But the pressure of the over-packed hay was a constant outward force. Each bale made by an over-tight baler was potential energy in physical form. We have a word for “potential energy in physical form” and that word is “bomb.”

So sometimes, a man would toss a hay bale and it would land with a twang and the man who’d been reaching down to pick it up where it landed was dead.

And that is what “haywire” means.

oh nice. i knew hay bales occasionally spontaneously combust, didn’t know they used to have an explosion factor too

I love the use of the phrase 'some strange alchemy' as a descriptor for a process you don't understand.

'Through some strange alchemy(crochet) they turned a bundle of yarn into a stuffed giraffe'

'Through some strange alchemy(bad cooking) they turned a perfectly marinated steak into a charcoal briquet'

'Through some strange alchemy(good cooking) they turned a pile of slop into the fluffiest bread loaf I'd ever seen'

'Through some strange alchemy(bad reading comprehension) they took my polite statement and turned into a disgusting act against the poor'

and so on

Some weird alchemy (capitalism)

shadowrun idea: hunt the elves

I apologize for calling Macklemore cringe

Sometimes I can still hear their voice

Breaking: TikTok is better bc it’s more hostile towards humanity

The lack of video content is what kept us here... I thought we all agree that the best feature of this hellhole was and always will be anonymity.

Tumblr's not asking for my phone number. It's not going through my contacts to try and connect me with my fucking colleagues. I can come here and talk about whatever I want without anyone ever seeing my face or hearing my voice. I don't have to censor myself and hide my interests or enthusiasm out of fear of consequences it might have in my real life.

I think the biggest misunderstanding they have of Tumblr is that they think of it as a social media platform when in actuality it's a blogging platform with social features.

I like the use of Metroman here because if there's one thing Tumblr users collectively agree on it's that we want everyone to think we're dead

Video platforms are dogshit at keeping me engaged because I can’t watch videos when also watching tv, or when I’m at the dinner table or in public (because I’m not an ANIMAL I do not let my phone make NOISE around other people). Who tf thinks video platforms are better???

The Internet seemed to really like the previews I posted of NYC bullying Spider-Man, so here is that episode in its entirety. Enjoy!

finally, someone who gets it

40 Funny Teacher Memes For Anyone Who’s Already Got One Foot Out The Door For Summer (May 10, 2024)

x

I talked to my fb page chat today about buying yuri at the store

I hope this cat didnt kill any of those birds .

wow you actually found a practical use for that reaction image

holy shit

Mic drop.

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)