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I'm Meaner Than My Demons

@shediedonce / shediedonce.tumblr.com

ind. sel. pri. elektra natchios penned by analyse. est. 2015. sideblog to worldknowshername & partsofthemachine
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“My heart is like a stallion. They love it more when it’s broken.”

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reblogged
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     “are you okay?”  a loaded question.  none of them are really okay on the best of days.  it’s hard to be when they’re working for someone like ross.  but given the recent news… and castle’s reaction to said news—castle’s lucky he’d stormed off when he did.  flash had been exactly one second away from throwing him through a wall—he’d figured she might need a friend.  even if he was certain that elektra didn’t particularly think of him as one.  “i brought some stuff to clean your arm.”

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shediedonce
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“What do you take me for, Flash? I’m not some weak little girl whose going to break every time Frank Castle throws a temper tantrum.”  That’s not what he was asking her about. Not really. Maybe a little. Frank had scared the medic out of the room when he’d shoved her up against the wall like that, scrapping her arm against the exposed brick. Violent and heedless of the damage he was inflicting.

She had barely even noticed it was happening. Even now, the only thing she could focus on was the crumpled piece of paper in her hands. A list of prenatal vitamins. That was too much for Elektra to take on. It would be be better just to think about the way Flash’s fingers felt on her skin, too gente as he cleaned the injury.

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“Someplace better?” He wasn’t going to presume–he’d sure that Stick would tell him first, that heaven wasn’t real, and second even if it was a heartless, soulless creature like the Black Sky wouldn’t go there. Matt was Catholic. He knew better than to make presumptions like that.
“I think anywhere would be better than in here with me…” He laughed, a laugh that quickly turned into a pained cough. “…and my…fucking awful overwhelming blood smell, shit…”

“You could always take a bath,” Elektra pointed out with a small grin. An almost laugh. But she couldn’t bring herself to actually feel any joy in this situation, though. Matt was alive, but she had to wonder if he was better off that way. “Take care of that blood smell...”

Gently, she reached out again, brushed her fingers through his hair. It was, objectively, gross. The bath probably wasn’t out of line. “I can’t think of anyplace better than with you.”

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that scar meme for the scar on elektra's neck

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"Don’t,” Elektra whispered. More of a breath than an actual word. She flinched away from Clint’s light touch on her neck, brushing her newly shortened hair away from her neck. She’d regretted cutting it almost instantly. As soon as she saw the scar cutting into the space where her shoulder met her neck. Gnarled, twisted, and ugly.

She couldn’t remember the specifics of that scar. There was a lot she had lost coming back. But it was hard to stop obsessing over it and she felt queasy every time she caught a glimpse of the scar. Trying to put together the pieces. And it didn’t matter how soft Clint was, how gently he touched her. The careful brush of his lips against her skin couldn’t make her feel better. Elektra just felt lost and hurt.

“Please.”

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my abuse wasn’t poetic. it was not justice or necessary. the earth left me to die and there is no such thing as karma. the gods watched idly by as i was killed in that house and not a damn person tried to help me

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     “oh that’s just hurtful.”  and he meant it despite the teasing tone. ha, fake laugh hiding real pain. castle was always stealing his thunder.  “i said i was happy to see you. just give me a little kiss, miss murder.”
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“You expect a kiss for that little peashooter. I know I’ve lowered my standards substantially.” It was impossible to deny after she’d slept with Castle. Even if he came back for her like some sort of asshole with a hero complex. “But even I need to impressed a little.”

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bri-ecrit

Some people are just born to fight, I think. It’s not that they’re born brave. It’s not that they’re born strong. It’s just that the universe has decided that this one, this one will have grit and fire and steel in their blood. And it’ll be tested, this cosmic mettle of theirs. They’ll face trial after trial, be broken and damaged in countless ways. But this one was born to fight. Maybe it’s not the life they would have chosen. Maybe they’d love to lay down their arms. But they were born to fight. It’s what they know. It’s what they do best. It’s all they can do.

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“The seas were calm,” Elektra said finally. Talking just to fill the silence. It was the first thing any of them had said in hours They had all the time in the world and no time at all. “There was no wind at all and the Greeks couldn’t launch their ships. All the while Helen was getting further and further away. And Agamemnon’s blood was boiling. Because he wanted to fuck her. His wife’s sister, his brother’s wife. His.” A small humorless laugh escaped Elektra’s lips and she glanced up at Clint. “All this time and space laid before us and men never change, do they?” Elektra, daughter of Sick.

She wondered if she could just stab the keeper of the stone and launch him off the cliff. A sacrifice was a sacrifice. “After a week of nothing--of still seas and calm winds--Agamemnon took his oldest daughter by the hand and lead her to cliffs overlooking the ocean. Iphigenia trusted her father and ,when he commanded her to lay down on the rocks, she did. She didn’t even flinch when her father brought the knife down on her neck and spilled her blood into the sea. He changed the tides of war and all it cost him was his daughter.” Elektra mimed drawing a knife across her own throat. Her mouth tasted of blood, had tasted of blood since she woke up drowning.

Thanos came back without his daughter.

“When men tell the story, they act like Electra loved her father so much that she could betray her own mother. But that’s not the truth, is it? Electra watch him take Iphigenia to the cliffs. She watched her father murder her sister in cold blood. Her sister’s sacrifice turned the tides of war and hers stopped one in its tracks...”

For the first time, Elektra looked up at Clint. Certainly, the story wasn’t new to him, wasn’t new to anyone. But she had needed to work it through. Explain herself or explain Stick or maybe just make anyone understand what the weight of a name was. “He named me Elektra and demanded loyalty. I was created to turn the tides of war.”

I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.

“I am the Black Sky,” she said. Her eyes never left Clint’s. “I have died many deaths before and I will die many deaths again.”

You will serve life itself.

Her footsteps echoed in her own ears as she stepped forward until she was face to face with Clint. Elektra laced their fingers together and brought his palm to her chest. She didn’t even know if her heart still beat. “You took me by the hand and lead me to the edge of the cliff.”  Grip tight, she stepped backwards until they were at the very edge, forcing him forwards. “You commanded me to lay down and I trusted you because I was yours. And I didn’t even flinch when you spilled my blood into the sea.”

Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his. Tried to believe her own self-confidence that this would work, that she could not die. “Let me go.”

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