—   ask meme   :   MABEL,   a podcast by becca de la rosa and mabel martin.   episodes 08 (the freeze) through 12 (asterion).

• if the house is a heart, you’re the hook cut through it.
• you’re the only person i could get through to on my cell.
• i knew it was you, but it was like looking in a mirror, too; i could never quite be sure which one of us was speaking.
• i feel strange. not completely real. disconnected from my body, disconnected from my thoughts.
• if the house is a heart, i’m its blood.
• once upon a time we were strangers. we’d never even heard one another’s names. now we’re something else.
• maybe i should be more afraid. maybe.
• do you think there’s a process that a place goes through to become holy? a sanctifying alteration? if there is, i think it’s happening here.
• if you don’t come with me now, i can’t protect you.
• you’ll die alone.
• sometimes, when i look at you, i think that i am looking at a piece of my own soul.
• i want to unpick you like stitches, to see what makes you run — but i won’t.
• this is what they say: it is not uncommon for us to want to eat what we love.
• my mother taught me many things but she did not teach me this.
• where does it come from, the thread that ties us together?
• you laughed and i fell in love with you there.
• i love you, stone in my shoe. i love only you. only you. only ever you.
• you were a person, a true thing, not a figment or a fragment or a piece of history.
• i took a shower to wash all that red paint off me, and then i called you.
• she didn’t deserve to die alone.
• everyone in the whole world should be bowing their heads. don’t they understand what’s happened?
• time is strange in hospitals. reality is strange.
• you can’t get rid of me.
• i miss you. it feels like a piece of me has been torn out. it hurts. it’s physical.
• there are so many moments when the world rips out from under you.
• i know it’s late. i hope i didn’t… i had a nightmare.
• is this survivor’s guilt?
• every time i dream about you, you’re leading me somewhere.
• theseus makes his way back to safety and says hey, ariadne, come with me, i owe you big time. and this is what they call love.
• i’m not ariadne, i’m not theseus, i’m not the minotaur. if i’m anyone in this story, i’m the ball of twine.
• i’m not a hero, but i’m not nobody either. i’m not strong or brave or particularly smart, but i’m here, here in the dark with you.

• we've looked like shit for years, and we are developing.
• we're finally hot. at least, according to me.
• nobody's going to want to fuck me this year, just like nobody wanted to fuck me last year or the year before.
• i've been building tension.
• i'm playing the long game with her, okay?
• what the fuck happened to her?
• that made me so sad. what?
• i don't need this negative, really sad attitude. please.
• what the fuck are you wearing?
• nobody hates us for being gay. everyone hates us for being gay, untalented, and ugly.
• oh my god, she ate shit is what happened.
• she ate literal shit? what the fuck?
• or did you get beat up again?
• yeah, we went to juvie.
• i don't want to say it, but we're fucked!
• why do you always have to flirt with other women?
• it doesn't count if they're not in high school.
• would you like a safety ride?
• i'm sorry that i looked at mrs. reilly and lightly grazed her left tit, alright?
• don't talk to me, you ugly bitch, okay? i do not talk to girls in overalls.
• okay, i might be ugly, but these aren't overalls.
• you're being really mean right now.
• i heard you, like, beat up my boyfriend last night?
• maybe i SHOULD buy a gun.
• what? don't buy a gun. nobody said buy a gun.
• guys do that all the time, okay? that's the point of feminism.
• that's not the point of feminism. you also don't care about feminism.
• why would you lie to me?
• so you killed a girl?
• i know how to take a punch.
• i was thinking, if they were coming at me with, like, swords and, like, knives, and like, guns and stuff, and you taught me how to punch like that, then i wouldn't die.
• can i be honest? you're a person whose not coping with what's going on.
• sometimes, when you have a new hobby, don't show up.
• that's my favorite way to be an ally. you just say you're doing something, and then you don't do any of those things.
• my dad left me, and i'm incredibly punctual.
• i'm gonna finally reverse-stalk my stalker.
• i'll be able to kill my stepdad.
• i love talking about my trauma.
• i literally jack off after every single therapy session.
• yeah, well, all women are hot to me.
• we had to just, like, fight people, sometimes to the death.
• i still hear their screams at night, and that guilt will probably shackle me forever.
• i realize now, i don't have to be that person anymore. i don't have to just let things happen to me.
• i just get the hot people confused. jesus.
• i can't answer that question, because i don't know how to read.
• no, i would never cheat on you again, okay?
• what about, like, a bomb? like a super small bomb. they're super easy to make.
• yeah, let's do terrorism.
• don't get distracted, 'cause we can be fined like $2 for this.
• i really value when people use violence and raise their voices for me. it's actually one of my love languages.
• no, leave the skin on his face, will you?
• i'm not a fucking idiot. i just look like this.
• man, i knew women were evil.
• all of the blame just goes on me, then? like, none of this can be traced back to you at all?
• i didn't want to do this from the beginning. you know that.
• does it even matter? do you even care? do you actually like her? do you care about anyone other than yourself?
• do you care about anyone other than yourself?
• just find some other girl to jack off to and do nothing about.
• if you don't wanna borrow firearms, then why are you here?
• sorry, people didn't know you're gay?
• i never had many friends, and that's sad. and as i've gotten older in this world, it's just gotten more sad.
• okay, well, obviously, why would you lay it out like that? because it sounds insane.
• i'm sorry for saying that you have no friends really loud in front of all of your friends.
• i'm sorry for being an asshole a lot of the time. most of the time. all of the time.
• that is obviously a red flag. are we not reading that as a red flag? that's crazy.
• oh, now you want a bomb.
• in your fucking dreams, which you don't deserve to have. when you sleep, it should just be like, total darkness.
• i do want to say... i feel like you killed that guy.
• we killed a lot of guys. we'll process it later.
• you didn't have to start a whole fight club just to date me. you could have just talked to me.