bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements

The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people

~~~~~~~~~

*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*

Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?

Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling

~~~~~~~~

*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*

Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?

Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕

Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party

Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig

Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…

~~~~~~~~~

*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*

Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘

Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations

JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*

Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊

Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright

Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters

“There’s an assassin in the rafters” shouldn’t be the funniest part of this post and yet is

Talking shit about clichés like there isn't an abundance of unicorn art from the 80s that fucking slaps.

Like if this is cliché then ya'll better measure my pH levels, cause I'm basic.

Anyone ever put off starting a series or getting into a new craft or activity because you're current stimuli are doing you quite nicely and you KNOW there's heaps of dopamine stored in that new thing so you're saving it for whenever your next major depressive episode hits like a pika hoarding grass for winter or do I just have severe ADHD?

Oh hang on a minute.

That's why so many of us have piles of books on our shelves we haven't read or to-read collections on Ao3. Those are future dopamine stores, for when the current interests start having diminishing returns.

Well fuck I feel way less guilty about keeping all that shit now. Because I *will* get into it at some point. I get into all my art supplies within five years and I get into books within seven. I even get back into stuff I was previously engaged with and fell out with. It's a dopamine store that needed to recharge.

Cool.

I will also now be pleased instead of confused when people tag my fic "to read". It passed the quality threshold to be put in the emergency stores. High praise, that.

Hm. The Secret Social Recognition Euphoria when I realize I have successfully implemented a technique I learned in therapy for dealing with Alexithymia (identifying specific behaviors, identifying what I'm getting out of the behavior to identify the emotion at work, deciding what if anything I want to do about that) without prompting is pretty great. I love when therapy rewards me for using it and my ADHD gremlin gets rewarded for good behavior so I keep doing it. Great design there. Good job, therapists!

This is different than "this is being hoarded because I do not have the energy for New", which is an awful place to be in, but hoarding New Dopamine then will mean you have stores for later when things stabilize a bit and you do have energy for New. It actually takes the New Thing energy threshold down because it's right there, so you can skip the step of "looking for a New thing".

This is more "I could start that right now but tbh I don't really need it" which is a great place and very achievable to get to! Also, I am very pleased with myself for putting in the effort to get here. I am consciously noting that effort does work and pays off for the next time the depression hits. I am both doing better and doing well, and I should be proud of that.

Casting a spell on you that makes you happy, by the way. Your day tomorrow will be pretty good. Something nice will happen, maybe.

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

This is just objectively hilarious

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

this is not just "look out the window and sigh" longing. i'm talking you're at the grocery store and you're suddenly hit w a wave of grief bc you don't have it. you don't have whatever it is you ache so badly to have. you go about your everyday life and yet it throbs under your skin moment by moment, almost as though it has a life of its own. that's the kind of longing i mean.

do you boop your paw at us, sir?

i do boop my paw, sir

do you boop your paw at us, sir?

is the law of our side if i say aye?

no.

No, sir, I do not boop my paw at you sir; but I boop my paw, sir.

No, sir, I do not

boop my paw at you sir; but

I boop my paw, sir.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

like whack a mole

official they can't win against us all post

notice how they pause instead of all-out running? rat want grab-toss. they are playing a game! and pausing to make sure human has time to grab them and gently toss like the football!

Evil-Mart provides a vast array of tools and gadgets that is essential for the common villain-of-the-week. You work as a cashier there. Unfortunately all your coworkers mysteriously called in sick today, so you alone have to handle the long line of increasingly disgruntled customers.

Everyone has that one story about the time EVERYONE called in sick and they had to work a shift totally alone. Mine was a little different, though.

See, I work at Evil-Mart. It’s actually a really good job – benefits are top notch, pay is excellent, and management really cares about the wellbeing of employees. For good reason – most of us are, if not family, certainly part of the Family. All the staff are from the families of henchmen and minor villains. It’s easier for everyone that way.

Unfortunately, while the official ‘bad guys’ excel in many areas, catering isn’t one of them.  I don’t know why, but it’s just not something we’re good at. Anyway, there was a big team dinner for Evil-Mart one night, to celebrate the store’s tenth anniversary. And the next day, nearly the whole staff were out with food poisoning. And by nearly the whole staff, I mean … well, it went like this.

I was on the opening shift, and usually when I get there, there’s already two supervisors there. This time… nothing. The door was still locked. I knocked a few times, then called the front desk. Still nothing.

The third time I called, a voice answered that I didn’t recognize. “Who is this?”

“Rebecca Kahn, I – “

She sounded like she was about to cry. “Are you calling in sick too?”

“No, but the door’s locked and I can’t get in.”

“You’re here? At the store?”

“Yes, and I only have two minutes or I’ll be late clocking in and – “

“Wait right there! I’ll be right down!” The phone slammed down, and a couple of minutes the door swung open. “Thank God!” the woman exclaimed. I vaguely recognised her from meetings, but we’d never spoken before, but now she grabbed my hands and squeezed them as if I was a long lost friend. “Did you have a special meal last night?”

At that point, light began to dawn. “Yes. Knuckles Levy from the warehouse and I both had the kosher meal.”

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I cast Protection from The Discourse

All party members are granted +10 and advantage on saves versus hot takes, immunity to sealioning, and may cast Dispell Whataboutism as a free action until the end of the encounter.

In honor of Merlin trending today, let me provide you with an adorable headcanon visual.

Scrawny short voice-cracking pre-teen Arthur following Leon around the castle as his squire

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS

OMG

This one’s an always-reblog, because who knows who needs it and hasn’t seen it yet?

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

so i'm in this backyard chickens group on reddit and someone just discovered their hen is transitioning and everyone is stoked

anyway in case you didn't know chickens will sometimes spontaneously f2m and it's pretty cool

these absolutely cannot stay in the tags