s t a r l i g h t

bodies should never ever hurt when i’m trying to sleep. like girl literally just turn off. that’s enough

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

Rice Krispies smartest decision is by far their Treat. Turning their cereal into a strange brick relies on the natural fact that all children are hopelessly dependent upon the ingot.

yeah what's up man im just walking on my hands and knees through the desert repenting rn. wait what's that? are you kidding me?

are you unemployed? has it been a while since youve thought about killing yourself? dont worry, indeed dot com can change one of those things

your fresh piercings love lake water they need it to grow and thrive

Completely sober in the club googling worst medieval executions

genius lyrics is like one of my favorite websites because i think the annotators on there are among the most boldly stupid people in the world and i also love how they write annotations like they're explaining it to someone who was born yesterday

i would be the best unreliable narrator i dont know shit that goes on around me

the sun literally sets and casts a golden hue over everything every single day and we fucked it all up and invented paying rent

"mortifying ordeal of being known" shut up let's talk about the miraculous kindness of being remembered

i love you necromancy i love you time travel i love you stories where refusing to confront your grief and regret causes you to create something much worse

literally why would you tell an apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic story if not to showcase the inherent goodness of humanity

And is this train due in 0 minutes in the station with us right now?

People need to get over this phase of abandoning fandoms so fast. There are 70 year old women still into Spirk and you people can’t hold onto a man for a month. Shape up and stop abandoning your gently used blorbos in wet cardboard boxes on the side of the highway after a week

ngl the funniest thing WOTC employees could do rn is unionize while their bosses are distracted

they should invent decisions that are easy