Sometimes I like to play games of what if - where I ask myself a question or offer a hypothetical situation that is often not even remotely relevant to my characters, to get to know them better. Its a fun time for me, at least. Today’s game is: What all my gw2 characters would do if handed a rubix cube and were asked to solve it. If they could/how they would:
Fellow: absolutely. 100%. By the way what is a rubix cube? Immediately peels all of the stickers off and puts them on the right way, assumes that’s what youre supposed to do. Wonders for a split second why humans are like this, gets distracted by fia, who has taken the stickers off of her own rubix cube and is putting them on her own hands and face.
Ivy: You can try to hand the cube to ivy but we all know that ivy doesn’t like being handed things, handing people things, holding things or generally doing pointless things. She will make your cube disappear and summon a different solved one for you if you want
Briar: a good boy who puts all of his attention on the cube until it is solved. does it with his forehead crinkled, biting the tip of his tongue because he has to focus on the steps.
Lamium: Lamium stares at the cube for a while. Focused and silent. She is mentally turning the sides and figuring out how it would need to go before touching it. Whoever asked ends up leaving before she actually can physically solve it because she’s just still and silent. Lamium proceeds to mentally play with a rubix cube sometimes while waiting for other things because that was fun.
Gunner: can absolutely solve it. She takes a little while to figure out the system, the way it works, and solves it. Even better, much like Kelly, Gunner figures out how to unsolve it. She works on it so you need the maximum number to twists to resolve it, and leaves it like that for the next person.
Dolly: i hope you have quick reflexes. She gets annoyed with it too quickly and will chuck it away. She might not aim for you ... but she might.
Bellamy: has the patience to figure it out over time but she really just could not care less
Early: could. wont unless deaglan tells him its important, in which case, yes captain. or marcie asks him to, in which case, yes love.
Reed: Reed is that bastard who doesn’t have to look at one to solve it because he totally would be that guy who treats it as a fidget.
Sloane: If she HAS to then shes going nuclear. She’ll break it into pieces and then lay them out in groups and call it done. She wont even glue it back together. You wanted the colours together theyre together now, and if you complain about it shes going to judge you.
Kelly: Kelly would go one of two ways.
If he has both his hands on, then he is literally only capable of making things worse. He can't solve it, he can only unsolve it in worse and worse ways.
If one his prosthetic is missing: then he goes to find Fionna and is like Hand buddy I need a hand. We gotta hold and turn this together. And then he is so much more able to focus because he is with someone and he doesn't want to mess things that theyre doing up. Unfortunately his ability to focus is still limited, so he will get bored and leave eventually unless there are extra factors in play to try and wrench his brain away from the wyld hunt induced goldfish attention span
Sulwynne: ???? stares at whoever handed her this plastic trash cube with deep and abiding disbelief. surely youre joking. get out of her ocean and dont come back
Shep: no. It kind of makes him want to cry when he tries. Please stop bullying him with a small cube made of smaller cubes.
Marlowe: will angry cry and also wonders if you’re making fun of her. Tries really really hard to get it. Also tries really really hard to not melt it. Wouldn’t try in front of people would only play with it at night when no one can see
Penny: this does not have internal organs and therefore fails the most basic of interest checks for penny
Bryony: Feels a lot of pressure to do it The Right Way when handed the cube, and therefore has absolutely no fun with it and is abysmal with trying to figure it out.
Zella: would ask for help and an explanation on how it works because she’s healthy or something idk. Will remember the strategies forever.
Tooke: is well aware of how easily you can concuss someone with a rubix cube. Was that not the question? Were you not aware that you are carrying a class e low level weapon? No special permit is required but maybe you should be aware of what you’re carrying.
Malin: loves it. She specifically likes making patterns with the colors. Her idea of solving it isn’t getting all side their right colors.
Song: ??? This is a weird thing to give her for her nest. she does like that it’s colorful but does not like that it’s shaped like that. Courting gift not accepted but its not hated.
Sterling: has never has less fun in her entire life than “playing” with a rubix cube and she spent m o n t h s with Shifting Stones
Galen: No. Could he? I have no idea. He has no idea. No one will ever have any idea because this does not make his brain go brr and he will get immediately distracted.
Phoebe: She COULD, but shes going to hand it to Rue with a winsome smile and ask her if she would because she wants to watch her wife being really cute and focused.
Batdad: What is wrong with you and why would you try and ask him that? IF you come back with one of the ones with textures on the sides for accessibility ... the answer is no. His bats will inevitably investigate what he is doing and he will immediately put the cube down, not know where he put it down, and never ever find it again because a wee darling bat needed attention.
Good luck and safe travels as you leave the catacombs, Chryssi is probably going to trip you on the way out for bothering that sweet old man.
Abby: there are no secrets from abigail. Not even if you are a wee plastic cube.
Polly: “um, you could just tell me that you hate me”
Asa: exaggerated teenage eyeroll shes spent her entire childhood around condescending doctors who expected her to be distracted by toys during days and days of then scraping off crystals and taking blood tests and whatever else they wanted. Take your cube and shove it she absolutely hates it
Mayhem: Is this for target practice?
Zofar: why did you hand her that? If you get it back it has tooth marks on it. She could absolutely solve it if she could focus for more than a few seconds but it’s too still of an activity and oh huh you know this kind of gives her an idea on something to tinker on though, hold on just a second …..
Kimber: which timeline are you asking her this in? The answer might differ. It gives her a headache to look at.
Libra: who knows. She immediately gave it to crow, to watch her suffer.
Wander: thank you for adding this to his junk pile. solve it? solve what. He’s already walking away he didnt pay any attention to a single word you said he just took the thing you gave him he’s sure itll be useful somewhere some day. (he will later solve it though, because he likes how clean it looks when the sides match)
Brer: this is a childrens toy and brer doesnt see any use for it. And then he has a kid and brer will lay on the floor with mayday for tummy time and try to play with it with his infant daughter and while she slobbers all over it he is absolutely delighted look at his genius little cub shes so great.
Mayday: literally has no idea that you’re supposed to solve it. As seen above: as a kid her dad was delighted with whatever she did with it. Literally no one ever told her that it could be solved. She’s going to be today years old some day and be gobsmacked to find out what she thought was a childrens toy to teach you colours can be solved.