About A Tail of Two Ponies!

@nevermord​ READ, LIKED and REBLOGGED

A Tail of Two Ponies!

He observed:

In regards to Applejack and apple brandy:  They are the same thing under different names.  Before the advent of large scale distillation, freezing was the only way to make seriously strong drink.

About the story, it was a writing commission by @wubzywubbles​ who used it to propose to Windemere, who was not on Tumblr.  Focusing on them was part of the commission.  They are now married.

Goodness that is such a long time ago! 5 years really comes and gone! I appreciate the story you wrote for me at the time! It was a wonderful story!

I must inform you though that Windemere and I are now divorced and gone our separate ways. It ended after 2 years of marriage, and it didn’t help when she didn’t do anything to celebrate our anniversary. I am doing much better now than I ever was with her.

(Source: Windows 95 installer / setup wizards)

chanbanhi

when you die you go to the big LAN party in the sky

You’re like our local hero, man. It would mean a lot.

+ bonus

#2513. Lantern Turtles - Illustration

Print Store is currently under construction. Will have a new one up soon.

For full res WIPs, art, videos and more:  https://www.patreon.com/piperdraws

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Comp of my favourite guns

please add on this is fucking wild

You know what this does.

this is called a punt gun. IT WAS USED TO HUNT ENTIRE FLOCKS OF DUCKS AT A TIME.

what’s that? you wish you didnt need to dispose of the body? WELL WHY DON’T YOU GET A FUCKING NINE BARELLED SHOTGUN YOU’LL BREAK YOUR ARM BUT YOUR VICTIM WILL BE RED MIST.

Give this to your party in the next dnd campaign. It’s called an apache revolver and every single fucking class can specialize in it.

You know how in a cartoon a gun will bend, and it shoots that direction? Well this fuck decided to create a gun like that, designed to shoot around corners. 

This is called a PARASCOPE, gun. LITERALLY DESIGNED SO YOU DON’T POKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE TRENCHES.

“this isn’t even a gun?” NO IT IS. IT’S CALLED A POCKETKNIFE PISTOL AND WAS MADE FOR HOME DEFENSE. (on a side note we should still make these and have these be the only guns “for self defense” correct me if im wrong.)

“this is a mace?” 

NO DUDE THIS WAS  CALLED KING HENRYS WALKING STICK, AND WAS OWNED BY HIM. IT HAS THREE SMALL HOLES ON THE MACE THAT SHOOT.

take a wild fucking guess how you fire it. JUST GUESS. 

YES. THE GUN IS FIRED BY FUCKING PUNCHING.

THIS IS A FUCKING RING. IT FITS AROUND YOUR FINGER. AND IT’S A GUN. A SIX SHOT GUN 

“well that’s an odd frame for a gun.”

YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT WAS DESIGNED TO REPLACE YOUR BICYCLE FRAME. The reason these were made, was because before the automobile, the best way to transport your gun was on bike. SO WHY NOT HAVE YOUR GUN, BE THE BIKE

Yes. THIS IS DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE LIPSTICK. IT’S AS BIG AS ONE TOO. I DON’T KNOW IF THESE ARE STILL LEGAL, BUT GALS, THIS COULD BE A GREAT THING TO CARRY WITH YOU.

You see this rifle? IT CAN DESTROY TANKS. AND YES, THIS BADASS MANAGED TO PERFECTLY HANDLE IT’S WEIGHT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=11&v=nKDtpbLx-XM

YOU SEE THIS GUN? IT’S CALLED A SMART GUN. THE ONLY WAY TO FIRE IT IS TO HAVE YOUR FINGERPRINT SCANNED, AND TO BE WEARING THE WATCH THAT COMES WITH IT. NOW THERE IS LITERALLY NO EXCUSE FOR KIDS TAKING THEIR PARENTS GUNS.

YEAH, THIS IS A PEN. For when a writers done with your shit.

This is called a vomit gun. and you’re right! this doesn’t fire bullets. INSTEAD, THIS BITCH SHOOTS A LED LIGHT THATS SO BRIGHT, AND DISORIENTING, THAT IT LITERALLY CAUSES YOU TO VOMIT, FALL OVER FROM INTENSE DIZZINESS, AND BLIND THEM. IT ALSO EMITS PULSES TO DISORIENT THEM, AND HAS A VARIETY OF EFFECTS THAT REALLY FUCK YOU UP. (the effectiveness and everything about it is being questioned, but it IS bright enough to blind you.)

this isn’t a special ammo shotgun.

it’s a grenade launcher.

this is exactly what you think it is.

30 barrel revolver. What the fuck can I think of for witty commentary. Just look at it.

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO END THIS.

This is so Fucking funny