I'm always so tired

Parents really like to do this thing where if their kid is currently "in trouble" they will tell you about it, out loud, in front of the same kid, even if you're a total stranger. "This is my son and he's grounded right now for not doing his homework" they say, while said son just looks at the ground embarrassed. They want you to play along and reinforce their authority like "gaaasp! Homework is so important!! Listen to your mother!!!!" so obviously we all understand in this situation that we should really say "hell yeah kid fuck the system" right

I've had older adults complain to me about their or family members' kids fucking up and I always do basically this, before I calmly explain why it's either not actually a big deal at all or a good thing instead of a fuck up.

My mom was complaining to me about my brother wanting to drop out of his highly competitive highly stringent degree that consistently loses 75% or more of students by third year, which my brother is in, and here's the kicker: he literally just wanted to downgrade a single step to management accounting, which is still an incredibly prestigious degree, but more aligned with his interests. His current degree has major focus on tax law and forensic auditing, which he hates and literally cries about when he thinks of doing it as a job. My brother, who grew up on alt right YouTube, called me a snowflake unironically for like 3 years when I, checks notes, didn't laugh at his jokes, and heavily criticized me for openly crying about my difficulties and pursuing both therapy and medication. He cries about the future he's facing if he continues down this path.

So my mom is telling me she really doesn't want him to downgrade or drop out, and I'm the measuring stick they're going by I completed a postgraduate honors degree on full ride merit scholarship, so she thinks I'll agree with her that he just needs to push through and finish the degree. In earshot of him. So naturally I tell her I've literally counseled two teens through dropping out of school and encouraged a third who I lost contact with and am unsure of whether they dropped out or not. And I say "I don't agree with you about seeing things through that are actively harming you when other options are always available" and I explain that if my brother liked or even just trusted me I would tell him to go ahead and downgrade. Finish the year paid for so you get credits, which will make the workload less when you downgrade and look good on your CV.

I didn't know he was within earshot, but after he overheard that conversation he started, by his own volition, seeing a therapist, and taking it completely seriously and doing the exercises the therapist told him to, and when he saw that it wasn't enough he went to a doctor and got antidepressants prescribed. He started them last week. He's still downgrading to management accounting when the year is over instead of pursuing his honors degree and articles.

And I've been doing this for almost an entire decade imagine complaining to a 15 year old about your kid because they're high-performing and verbose so you think they're super disciplined and hardworking and that 15 year old busts out "yeah no I'm barely scraping by I've wanted to kill myself 3 times this week alone the only reason I'm doing well at school is because I'm stupid smart and have incredible pattern recognition I do the bare minimum of work and still want to die give your kid a break".

My high school implemented a system where every infraction marked on your record came with a text to your parents letting them know you got an infraction, what for and from which teacher. Imagine my teachers' astonishment when I, 3 infractions my entire high school career all for homework because I burnt out, kept complaining to any faculty member that would listen that I think it's an incredibly stupid system and explaining that the kids likely to commit a large number of infractions are also likely being abused at home, and that letting their parents know of every little thing they do wrong every time they do it will worsen the abuse, and consequently the behavior of said student. They did not Like That ™. Changed it to only let parents know of stuff like drugs, fighting and bullying and harassment.

Shame culture needs to die honestly there's always a way to fix it and grace and compassion makes things better for everyone, while shame only isolates everyone and makes things worse overall.

IC 443, Jellyfish

IC 443, Jellyfish

ちゅんの日かぁ〜

the gifs i find on this website... you guys are art curators

this is not about gifsets this is about shit like this

It's cynically ironic how trans people are on the one hand expected to trace their transness back to their childhood in order to be taken seriously, while we're on the other hand repeatedly told that children are supposedly "too young" to think about such matters.

#marginalized groups are always expected to do the impossible by their standards bc they just hate (via @sleepyagent)

These are so fun to make

@thedisablednaturalist @fagtabulous

Ask and you shall receive!

the united states should not exist reblog if you agree

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

Dogs playing a game. Rules are a mystery

this emerged in my head when I was trying to drive

May I propose the fill ins?

#i am undiagnosing myself with 'adhd' and rediagnosing myself with 'cursed by wizard'

Do you think cavemen ever got humiliated and had the kms urge? Like "Grug so embarrassed, Grug jump into tar pit" and then Glarg is like "Noooo everyone forget soon" and Grug is like "Grug going to do it for real"