Random brain dump ahead (!)

New Year, same old me

Oh, hi.

So... long story short, stuff happened (actually, not a lot), I made some running and health-related decisions and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I may have hit a new low, but I’m still a work in progress (does that make sense?).

I gave up the idea of signing up for races this year. I’m still in this weird funk mentally speaking and I don’t want running to become another source of frustration. So, I’m still running, but not as much. I’m considering loosely-following a 10K plan to improve speed, just to have some kind of structure. Obviously, I have lost some fitness in the past two months. Having a record of your past self is both a blessing and a curse: you either end up reminiscing stuff or chasing your past self.

The thing is, I want to stop idolizing my past self andlook  forward to building a better future self, instead. Sounds like a typical New Year resolution, doesn’t it?

Anyway. I finally had some blood tests done. Turns out I have some sort of anemia (not exactly iron deficiency, but that my body doesn’t store a lot of it? idk) and my TSH is sorta high, which probably means hypothyroidism. I already have an appointment with an endocrinologist next Tuesday, so we shall see. I have been reading here and there, and if this turns out to be the cause of my weight gain and mood swings (sure, my eating hasn’t exactly been ~great~, but I am consistently gaining weight and it’s so fucking frustrating and leads to me beating myself for every single meal that I have...), I will be glad to have it sorted somehow.

Whatever the case, I want to know if there’s something I should do in order to avoid any negative side effects while training. And, well, having some guidance regarding weight loss and weight maintenance will be nice, too. This is going to sound extremely shallow, but I’m so tired of looking in the mirror and feeling disgusted.

My job situation isn’t exactly great at the moment, either, but I’ll save that for another post.

Happy New Year?

HR Training??

I’ve been going crazy this past week with HR monitoring. To be completely honest, it’s something I’ve ignored in every training plan so far. However, since my coach says we are now in ‘Marathon mode’ (gasp), he says that he needs me to send him that info in order to adjust the mileage/pace or whatever. So, this being the first real week of training, I am just finding out the following:

1. I have a hard time finding something that reads my HR right while running. Garmin just doesn’t work for me. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not hitting a max 215 BPM on my easy runs, LOL.

2. I did find something that works better: a MIO Link bracelet thingy that I link to my Garmin via ANT+. Still, my heart rate SUCKS.

3. I didn’t expect it’d be so difficult to run based on HR zones. I have two or three runs that I have to complete with a “6 out of 10″ effort. So, I figured that meant staying below 170 BPM. Off I went, to my short 6 km run, and... guys, I wasn’t even sweating and I slowed down to +12 min/mi paces (+7:30 min/km) and I still got a 174 BPM average. I ran the last km ‘fast’ (which is 10:30 min/mi or 6:30 min/km for me) and it went up to 185 BPM. Wtf?? How is that even possible? My last 10k race was at a 10:42 min/mi average, does that mean I consistently run at +180-190 BPM?!

4. If that’s the case, I’m even more out of shape than I thought, haha.

5. So, I don’t know. I don’t know what to make of this. I guess there’s no harm in trying this new approach since I kinda hit a plateau over the summer. I’m just SO embarrassed to share this info with him... I bet he thinks I suck lol.

6. Has anyone tried this? Is there really any benefit to doing training runs a whole 2:00 or 2:30 mins slower than your race pace? Am I getting worse? Oh boy.

There’s no use denying it. I have been a mess lately, both on personal and training levels. I have managed to run twice, maybe three times per week. I have obviously lost some fitness/endurance but, oddly enough, every run has been pretty enjoyable. I just went out and ran. And that feels good, for a while. However, I know that having no goal in mind means that I’ll end up curling into a ball and not leave home at all, rather sooner than later.

So.

First, I considered dismissing my coach since 1. honestly, I haven’t been following his workouts (sorry) and 2. I’m in a phase where I don’t want to be looking at my watch during every lap to see whether I hit certain paces or not. At the same time, I always run and race alone and having someone to keep me accountable is... well, important.

Anyway, long story short.

I suggested some changes to him and told him that, given the circumstances, I would like to attempt running the local half marathon in February, as a halfway point to a marathon in late April.

He just gave me the OK but stated that, since we only have 5 months, it means training hard.

I’m gonna be honest. I read his e-mail and felt terrified but... I think I will probably regret it more if I don’t try, at the very least.

Oh boy.

I completed all my runs this past week

So, that’s a win, right? The days are getting shorter and it’s ~finally~ starting to get colder, so I know I have to make the most of it. My mind isn’t 100% on it yet, but I’ll get there.

Yesterday, during my run, I was thinking about the two halves I have planned for next year. The first one is a local one in February, whereas the second one I am really looking forward to (it was my first last year and I loved the atmosphere). The first one I am doing it because it’s... convenient? Well, it’s the first time I wouldn’t have to travel to run a half. And I need a goal to get out of bed in the winter.

Anyway. The second one is six months from now (late April), and with the first one being exactly in the middle, I was wondering... could I bump the second one up into a full marathon? Are six months with an extra half in between enough time?

I know I don’t have to rush it, but waiting/training a whole year for a full is also scary... It will be difficult to keep that same level of motivation throughout the year, a million things may happen along the way, and I dreaded training during the summer (I do really poorly in high temperatures and humidity-- we are talking about running on 26-30º temps here).

So... I don’t know. I am actually considering this, and it’s terrifying and exciting at the same time.

I always go through this ‘down’ period after finishing a race. I know I need some rest mentally and physically before tackling the next training cycle, but truth is, I haven’t run for the past two weeks and the guilt is starting to settle in.

I made some plans for a couple of halves early next year (February and April) and... after that, I considered training for a marathon in October. It sounds silly, but I’d love to run one before I turn 30. It’s one of those things, I guess.

I wish I could sound more excited about the whole prospect, but this past couple of weeks have been so... emotionally draining. Without going into details, my family had a huge meltdown, shit-hits-the-fan kind of thing, and my brother and I were pretty much left to pick up the pieces (I have to say, though, my brother really came through in this one, as well as my SO). Anyway, I feel so emotionally detached from my parents now, it’s kind of weird. And inconvenient, considering the holidays are approaching and I don’t think I’ll get out of the whole traveling +600 miles to visit them. Like I said, I’m tired, in every sense of the word.

But, getting back on topic, I hope I haven’t derailed my progress too much by taking a two-week break. Luckily, it looks like the first couple of weeks of November training are pretty light, so I hope that helps in easing me back into it.

I think I finally miss running.

I meant to post this earlier, but I had crappy Internet/data abroad, so... here it goes: I DID IT! Second half-marathon is done!! Official time: 02:30:31

I’ll be honest: it was harder than expected. Turns out, London is not flat, at all. 😅  I panicked since I started to struggle at the 12-13km mark, and I let the negative thoughts take over my head. Numbers aside, this is what I regret the most today. Of course, I pushed through and finished and I felt so happy. At that moment I also realized what I big mistake I had made. I had just run London and everything was over so quickly (figuratively speaking, of course) that I knew I should have let myself have more fun. Does that make sense? Oh, well.

Anyway, I can’t wait to be able to race there again. The course was beautiful, the volunteers/marshalls were amazing and I can’t get it over my head!

And... well, don’t tell anyone, but I’m thinking about doing a full marathon in a very special place a year from now. 💚

Race day is finally here! This was taken yesterday, but... what a beautiful place, rainbow included. I am at awkward time after breakfast, just waiting to leave the hotel. Not gonna lie, I am feeling scared. Whatever the outcome, I want to enjoy this one so badly.

First 10k of the season!

Well, that went better than expected. It gave me a much-needed boost for the Half, but it’s scary to think that’s the next thing I’m going to race and that it’s only 3 weeks away!

I could have pushed for 65′, but I really wasn’t paying attention. I felt really well, and I smashed that last kilometer uphill and felt like I could kept going for a while. It’s funny to think how 10k becomes a ‘short’ distance over time. This was the first race that I did back when we moved here three years ago-- it felt so different today (in a good way).

(yes, that’s an extra 120 meters because apparently I don’t know how to make turns in races *shrug*)

This week has been something of a mess

Nothing major, but still, it could have been better.

I signed up for a 10k tomorrow, just to see how I felt. It wouldn’t mess up my weekly milage either, so no harm done. However, yesterday was pouring all day and I couldn’t run my scheduled 15k. So, I figured I’d run veeery easy in the morning today to make up for it.

Turns out, I still hate running in the morning. I don’t get why every other running article focuses so much on the benefits of being a morning runner... it’s just... I can’t. My legs feel like lead and I don’t ever fully wake up, lol. And yeah, I know races are usually in the morning, but it’s not the same.

Anyway. My point is, I only managed 10.5k today. So, technically, I still ‘owe’ those 15k. I’ll try to run an extra 5k after the race tomorrow-- maybe it’ll feel easier.

I’m still a tiny bit concerned about my paces, even though I said I’d try not to focus on it so much. I’ve been thinking I should get some bloodwork done, since it’s been ages since I last had one and I’ve been a vegetarian for a year or so now. I’d hate to think I’m beating myself up over my performance, when I may actually have some deficiency. I don’t know if it’s too late now, considering the half is the first weekend of October (gasp).

Well, silver lining, at least I get to nap now.

I have some time to spare before my long run

So, what better thing to do but a brain dump?

It looks like summer is finally going away here. I was excited about the prospect of lower temperatures last week, and for the first time since July, I was able to consistently run under the 7s, at least for a 5k:

This week was a bit of a mess, though, and I had a mini breakdown. It was ugly. I felt better after talking to C about it, though.

Anyway, back to training.

I am starting to feel better again, which is such a huge relief. Yesterday I managed to run for 1h30min and stayed in Zones 3 and 4 for 90% of it-- in other words, I finally had a true easy run. I could have kept going for hours. That was the point, since today is my long run. But then, I see my paces and can’t help feeling discouraged. My long runs in March were nothing like this.

Maybe I’m still readjusting, I don’t know. What I know is, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by having so much information at hand. It’s useless to compare yourself to others, but when you have yourself to compare to... that’s even worse, I think.

Then I thought that my paces might have not been 100% accurate for my last training cycle. I did 90% of my long runs for my first HM as ‘easy’ runs, following Hal Higdon’s plan. Eventually, my pace picked up and I was running under 7s. This time, I trained through a brutal summer and my paces weren’t adjusted for that, so I kept pushing myself trying to hit those same paces. In the end, I think both my endurance and speed have suffered. Whatever it is, I hope I can eventually recover.

TL;DR I have come to the following conclusions:

So, yeah. 18 km today. Let’s do this.

Hi, is this thing on?

Hi there. It's been a while, right? I’ve been meaning to post for ages, but kept putting it off for one reason or another. As some of you might have noticed, I’ve been actively lurking and liking some of your posts (sorry if that was creepy, it wasn’t my intention).

Anyway. I stopped blogging for a while, mainly because I didn’t want to look back at my own blog and read the same negative thoughts over and over. That doesn’t mean that everything is alright now (... far from it?), but I felt like journalling again, and sometimes writing stuff down helps put things into perspective.

SO. Let’s catch-up! Grab a cup or tea, or two.

Guys, it’s official.

I registered for the Royal Parks Half! I crunched some numbers and I know I’ll have a blast running through London, so I decided to do it.

Sooo. Second half, here we go.

I’ve been pretty shit at updating this, sorry about that.

I am feeling a little better. I have been researching fall half marathons and the only one that appeals to me is the Royal Parks Half Marathon in London. Like my first, it would be neat to be able to run through a city that means a lot to me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a place through the ballot, which means I can only run it if I book it through a tour operator. It’s... pricey, but the race looks so, so beautiful. It would make a dent in my savings but I think I can also make up for it relatively quickly. I looked through other alternatives (ones that at least don’t imply traveling to another country) but they all looked kind of meh in comparison. I know, probably not fair.

Anyway. I just need to set a goal. I miss the feeling of looking forwards to something. And... well, training in the summer scares me, so having a race in October might me the only way to keep me accountable.

Speaking of, I started the training plan set by my new online running coach. It’s just meant to be maintenance, but OUCH. I should head out to run 15 km as my weekly long run today at some point. In any case, I enjoyed following specific workouts and not just run for the sake of running-- so far, at least. They would help me prepare for the second half, and maybe aim for a 2:20 time.

Other than that... well, everything is pretty much the same. Had a talk with HR but... well, it is what it is. Running and reading are the only stuff keeping me sane these days.