NCIS and Law & Order are on Netflix!! *squeals*
I need like a week to put myself back together.
I don’t want people to get tired of me, but even I am tired of myself. Why are you always down? Why do you need so many hours to recharge? Why is your mood frequently swinging? Why are you like this?
Need to add it into my source code that when I’m going into auto-pilot, to send a pre-generated message to my stakeholders so they don’t worry.
Me: I’m perfectly fine. Nothing is wrong.
Also Me: Starts sleeping for 8-10 hours a day.
Me: Nothing is wrong.
Also Me: Goes out with friends, unable to have a nice time, stumbles on triggering words and actions, brushes off, goes home early.
Me: We’re doing great.
Also Me: Churns out 3+ unclear drawings, spends 6 hours working on them.
Me: Nothing is wrong.
Also Me: Rewatches ATLA-Book 3 in one sitting.
Me: Maybe something is wrong?
Also Me: Lays on the floor for 2+ hours, crouches into a ball for further hours.
Successfully lost one week of my life to wallowing 🫂
salemthedarkone reblogged
My baby ❤️
salemthedarkone reblogged
antifascistelmo-deactivated2022
No matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that's so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you'll say "Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you're right" and that doesn't mean you were "morally toxic" before, it means you're a non-omniscient human capable of growth.
I act like I’m tough but deep down I’m really scared of being alone.
Only thing I’m focused on right now is to not let my thoughts get to me. We can work through and past this, no need to be drastic.
I’m open to therapy again.
Need to stop going there, I feel like it has become a very unhealthy crutch.
Hate it here man, what the fuck
No-one is going to reply fast enough and I feel like I’m spiraling
Need to be a big girl and not rely on people as crutches, but I’m not a big girl.
It’s bad enough that I’ve just started a new job, I’m about to move out and I don’t know anyone. I’m very scared of this, scared of being alone with myself.