Untitled

Fantasy/Twin AU

Sorry for being late and not posting for a bit. Was a bit burnt out and had writer block. I will go back to write the other days soon though. Also, sorry, I suck at writing wing aus, this is my first time doing it.

kaymarie72 reblogged

Anonymous asked:

Part 4 of timinette siblings with Kon and Bart coming over and bonding?

Maybe they were on an off-world mission of something and they video-called him

A second Anonymous person asked: If you make a part 4 (you do not have to) for the sibling Tim and Marinette, I think its time we see some protective big brother Tim moments don't you think? Stepping in when he spots a guy crowding his sister to suing Lila and Alya when he discovers the bullying, and the blog. Helping Mama Sabine bring evidence to the school board over the mistreatment of Mari, maybe his reaction to hearing Damien calling Mari a 'harlot' or 'tramp' (Tim totally goes to Luka for 'how to be best big bro' advice)

So I’ve decided to put them together. Enjoy!

Siblings Don’t Stand Back and Watch, They Always Get Involved

First<>Previous

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Anonymous asked:

If maybe a part 3 for the Sibling Marinette and Tim idea it could be Tim meeting/bonding with Mari's team. Tim, Chloe and Adrian bond over neglectful parents (Tim offers to end their parents business wise, they just need to ask), spars with Kagami since he can go all out, raves about the dark beauty of Gotham with Juleka (he shows her his photos of the city), and stressed/non-verbal days are spent with Luka and his music. Marinette is ridiculously happy/proud how her team and Tim gets along!

Friends Don't Move On, They Stay Together

When the team first came into contact with Tim, they were all suspicious. They had a goal to protect their sweet amazing leader who was slowly falling away due to Lila and her lackeys. It was suspicious that some random man with similar attributes and characteristics just came out of nowhere and claimed to be her twin brother. They all knew Marinette was still a bit too trusting, even after all of the crap she went through, and for all they knew he could be a spy for Lila. But as they got to know Tim more and more personally through Marinette, they realized that their assumptions were completely wrong. It was funny really, they should have seen it from their first meeting.

kaymarie72 reblogged

Anonymous asked:

Would it be okay if we get a part 2 for "Siblings don't shake hands" (also as I ask this its about to hit 500 notes so congrats on that!) Maybe snippets of Tom and Sabine meeting Tim, maybe getting hints of how family starved he is when he looks like a kid at Christmas whenever Sabine coo's over him while cupping his face gently and he leans into it or when Tom calls him son and promises to teach him how to make family recipes and makes time to hang out with him when he visits while Mari smiles.

Family Doesn’t Run Away, Family Cuddles

kaymarie72 reblogged

Anonymous asked:

Twin!Sibling Tim and Marinette where Tim is digging into his parents old files one day and discovers he had a younger twin sibling that was given up cause she wasn't planned. Tim does what Tim does best starts tracking down where she was sent/adopted to and finds out she's in Paris. Marinette has always known she was adopted and doesn't even bat an eye when he shows up. Basically they bond over coffee/riddles/problem solving, and discover each other hero identities.

Siblings don’t shake hands, siblings gotta hug!

sorry this took so long!

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thatsthat24

lesbianhallieparker

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEENNNN

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harrypottergays

It has happened.

I have purchased Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

Will provide updates

IT’S HERE

I’m going to start it pretty soon. I’m for some reason locked out of my student account and email and IT was no help as usual, so what is there to do except read a parody romance novel written specifically to spite J.K. Rowling?

Chuck Tingle has more or less become a meme because of his bizarre titles and covers and because of the Hugo fiasco, but I’ve heard relatively little about what it’s like to actually read his work and I frankly have no idea what to expect or if I should go into this with expectations at all

This book is...surprisingly easy to take seriously as a book. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But it’s like. A Book and not just an extended joke. Like on some level it’s not particularly terribly written nor does the plot like, completely exist in service to the...whatever humor is derived from the self-aware absurdity of the premise

AFSGFBCHH??

I love that he’s not even described as a humanoid dinosaur. He’s just sexy goth tattooed Severus snape and he’s also a parasaurolophus and we are left to just figure it out

I have to talk about what is going on with the worldbuilding. Like this is a parody. Of Harry Potter. But there’s an entirely different magic system and....everything???

In summary

there doesn’t appear to be a statute of secrecy type thing magic is just fully integrated with the modern world and modern technology
Harriet is a wizard, but that means that she creates spells by typing them out in long manuscripts, which on one level is a nod to the book publishing industry but on another level is kind of interesting in of itself
there’s a??? spellcasting industry??
there are different types of magic users other than wizards, and they appear to be based on the d&d classes
or at least, bards exist and they are distinct from wizard
the dinosaur is a bard
Bigfeet exist and they are integrated with modern society
there are sentient motorcycles and no one finds this in any way unusual
THE DINOSAUR IS A BARD?!?!?!

...Warlocks in this world get their powers from a pact with Chuck Tingle

The fourth wall break is killing me.

The sexy dinosaur is also trans

As much as I love skillfully crafted satire that takes deft jabs at the flaws of the thing it’s lampooning, there’s also something charming about how every character in this book has a name blatantly and hilariously derived from a Harry Potter character regardless of how most of their roles in the story barely resemble anything like characters in Harry Potter.

...You know, I’m not even sure Chuck Tingle has read Harry Potter.

I’m back to reading. Does chocolate milk have intoxicating effects on sentient motorcycles??

...sentences I never thought I’d write

um im lowkey getting feels from this like there are some genuinely emotionally resonant bits in here what the fuck

chuck tingle’s magic system is unironically better than jk Rowling’s I’m sorry

I’m so sorry to sample the sex scene but. “sexualis secondus” just killed me. I have been pronounced dead by this book. im obliterated this is indescribable

I literally have no idea how to describe what I’m experiencing right now. Like this is a somewhat poorly edited parody adult dinosaur romance novel but. It’s genuinely?? Creative?? In a lot of ways???? And there’s a lot of heart to it, a lot of genuine powerful messages about identity and about art and creativity and the fourth-wall-breaking device is...I can’t explain it because that would spoil it but it’s actually pulled off so well?????

This is not like, a humorous joke story this guy did for Being a Little Shit and Spite reasons, it’s like actually in its themes and message a genuine “fuck you” to j.k. Rowling’s transphobia even though it’s this absolutely wild janky batshit story and I have never experienced anything like this in my LIFE

I did not expect my adhd little heart to be touched by understanding of my fears about creativity and writing and its place in my life. Not like this. What the fuck. What the fuck.

#favourite harry potter headcanons

FGDHXWGBKVGSSHBIIDQTVJKBSZVYSTVJKJVBXSGHXHVN

icescrabblerjerky

Chuck Tingle is a gift to this world and when the time comes for him to call on his army I will be there with bells on.

30-minute-memes

It's always fun to see someone discover Chuck Tingle.

fieryartemispublications

New theory time, Chuck Tingle write My Immortal...

kaymarie72 reblogged

harrypottergays

kaymarie72 reblogged

wannajointhecrabcult

Masks and Music

(Part 2)

Part 1

I CANNOT believe how popular the previous chapter was! I actually couldn't stop smiling for the life of me. Thank you all for waiting and now without further ado, the next chapter! *Insert jazz hands*

Now this band isn't a normal band.
You as reader already know this.
This band has MDC, Jagged Stone, his agent, a child assassin in it AND are saving Paris from evil butterflies at the same time.
So guess what crazy bat and bird family became obsessed with them and their music.
Guess what crazy bat and bird family started a race and bets on who would get their autograph first.
Guess what crazy bat and bird family flew all the way to Paris to win the race only to find out that evil butterflies exist and feed off of negative emotions while they, as tramatized gothamites, probably have a lot of trouble controlling.
......
You may be asking (probably not but I'm gonna go on anyways) how they found out about it in the first place.
Well someone may have been getting overly worried and paranoid about how their baby brother was doing in another continent-
*cough cough* Dick *cough cough*
And was scrolling through the Parisian news when he came across the thing that changed Damian's life.
Not that he knew about that yet but.. umm.. you know what let's just continue.
At first he was just sorta confused until he started to listen to one of the songs that seemed to be really popular there.
He was BLOWN AWAY.
The costumes, the singing, the music, the dancing, the EVERYTHING was amazing!
His favorite part about this while thing was probably the names to the songs though.
Some of his favorites are:
Is That Thomas The Tank Engine As A Transformer Or Am I Hallucinating Again?
How Many Brain Cells Am I Gonna Lose Today?
Fruit Loops Are Better Than Cheerios And You Can't Change My Mind.
Why Burn A Witch When You Could Make S'mOrEs?
You Don't Know Whether We Have Eyebrows Or Not Because of our Masks haha.
That One Time I Somehow Drowned Like Forty-Seven Fishes.
Having A Midlife Crisis At Fifteen Because You Never Really Know When The Mid-Point Of Your Life Is.
Dick did a little more digging and found out that the band was referred to as the Miracle team.
He spent the next few hours just listening to their songs and watching videos.
'Wow the CGI is really good! If it weren't for the fact that they where using yoyos to fight and that people were being *possessed* by butterflies of all things I might have believed this was real!' He though to himself as he watched through a couple more clips he found of them singing while fighting akumas.
A few minutes later there was a knocking at the door.
'Oh! I wonder who that could be?'
Of course! The real question is who could be knocking on your door in the middle of the night despite you living in a family of sleep deprived detectives that dress up in brightly colored costumes named after animals and fight bad guys in the most crime ridden city in the world even though you could probably do something else with your lives.
Not why is this band that is stationed in the city I just sent my little brother to wearing animal themed outfits complete with masks that hide their identities which totally isn't sketchy at all fighting superpowered villains using yoyos and spinning tops in multiple of their music videos and are called the Miracle TEAM instead of BAND because there couldn't be some sort of superhero team just out there that we didn't know about.
We truly have our priorities straight don't we?
Anyways, he opens the door to reveal a semi-awake Tim with a coffee mug in hand.
Although, when doesn't he have caffeine on hand?
"Oh hey Timmy! Shouldn't you be sleeping? I though Alfred sent you to bed hours ago?"
Tim just took a long sip from his mug before answering.
"Ok, first of all just because I went to bed doesn't mean that I actually slept. Secondly if I WAS sleeping I would have probably woken up from the sound of that music you were playing. It's so loud to the point where Superman probably heard it from wherever he is right now. And thirdly, I'm hear to ask who the artist is. It's vaguely familiar but I can't quite pin point it. It sorta reminds me of Jagged Stone's music but it's so different at the same time."
"Oh! The music is by this Paris stationed band called the 'Miracle Team'. Now that you say it, it really does slightly resemble Jagged's music. Their songs are super catchy as well! Here, listen to this."
Dick played a couple more songs for Tim to listen to and showed him some of videos.
Tim was about to comment when a voice from behind him startled the two.
"What are you nerds looking at?"
They turned behind them to see the second Robin leaning against the door frame.
"Dammit Jay, you can't just spook us like that." Tim complained.
Yeah, tell one of the ninja children to stop sneaking up on people.
It's not like you were all literally trained by Batman to be silent when walking towards someone or anything.
Hey, maybe if you add in a 'please' he'll give you a lollipop.
Jason just raised an eyebrow and put a hand on his hip.
"Pshh. As if. If I was actually trying to scare you I would've swapped all your coffee with apple juice and Goldie's sugary cereal with the old people kind with the oats and all that. The real question is what's got you so distracted to the point where you can't hear someone walking up behind you?"
Tim moved to the side and pointed to the computer screen.
They played the video and watched as the group dubbed as the 'Miracle Team' started fighting Mr. Pigeon while singing.
Mid way through the fight a blue feather flew into the scene and landed onto a bag of birdseed which turned into a giant pigeon that started pooping on people.
Those stuck in the smelly substance were trapped and turned into pigeons that joined the others in the angry bird army that Mr. Pigeon was commanding.
When the video ended Jason turned to his brothers and deadpanned.
"What kind of drugs was the animator on and where can I get some. I don't know what the hell I just watched and l sure as fuck don't want to learn. The singing was cool though. Would probably watch again just for the music."
As the three started looking through more of the information, news, and videos about this band more family members started popping up and joining them.
And somehow this escalated to the point where everyone was packing their bags and loading onto their private jet on the way to Paris.
Alfred stayed back in Gotham to take care of the manor while the Sirens took over watching Gotham.
Everyone wanted to do different things when they landed.
Cass and Steph wanted to go and visit landmarks, giftshops, and other touristy things,
Barbara and Bruce wanted to go to their hotel and settle down for a bit before hacking stuff and trying to get info on everything and anything,
And Jason and Tim wanted to go hunt down the miracle team and win the 'who can get an autograph first's race.
In the end Dick managed to convince them all to visit Damian first before they all disperse to do whatever they were planning to do.
When they got to the youngest Robin's home in Paris they broke in, (The door was locked and what else were they gonna do, wait for him? HAH! As if.) Placed their things down on the floor and realized that he wasn't home.
They snooped around for a bit and started to become more and more confused the more they searched.
When did Damian drink coffee and why was it so STRONG? (Tim tried a bit of it and was now looking more energized than he has been all week.)
Why is there sewing supplies scattered around the place?
Why is the place NOT scarily clean and organized?
When did he get into Jagged's music?
Why does this place actually feel homey and lived in?
Omg is that a plushie?
Why is there a giant crocodile themed dog bed?
Ok, that last one made a bit more sense but still.
"Hey, I think this is Demon Spawn's room!" Yelled Jason as he tried to unlock a door.
But jokes on him, Marinette helped him protect his room using mAgIc so good luck trying to break into there!
Before Jason could try to straight up break the door down Dick suggested they try to search for Damian.
"Well, he isn't home so why not look for him and suprise him? This will be a good way to get us used to the streets, plus we'll get to ask questions about, well, pretty much everything about this place."
In the end Barbara, Cass, and Bruce decided to go their hotel and unpack while the others hunt down Damian.
After on hour or so of searching they decided to just use the tracker that Bruce imbedded into him to find his location.
Don't give me that look!
It's Batman!
He can put trackers on whoever he wants!
They follow the directions and find themselves infront of an arcade.
"Ummm, Dick are you sure that B's tracker is working because there's no way the brat would go here." Asked Tim as he looked around at the games.
The acrobat was about to answer him when a teen and her friend bumped into him.
She started to apologize when her friend cut her off.
"Cece come on! The Chaos Kids are playing!"
The girl quickly rushed over to her buddy was a crowd started to form around what seems to be a dancing game.
As the batfam went over to investigate they saw four teens split into two teams staring eachother down with a large group of people surrounding them.
"You may be good but today's the day you finally get beat." Said a boy wearing red as his teammate, a girl wearing yellow, nodded along to his statement while glaring at the the team.
On the other side of the dance floor stood two people wearing stylish black outfits with matching jackets, black caps, and masks that covered the lower half of their faces.
The back of their jackets said 'Chaos Kids' in silver embroidery.
The girl 'Chaos Kid' snorted and rolled her eyes as the boy 'Chaos Kid' quipped back.
"That's what's you've been saying for the last month. Don't make promises that you can't keep but if you're so desperate to have your butt kicked then be our guest."
For some reason his voice was vaguely familiar but they couldn't quite place it.
The other team's faces flushed red and twisted with anger.
"Oh you're so getting it now!"
Now girl CK started speaking in a sing-songy tone.
"Hmm. We'll believe it when we see it."
With that the two teams turned to the large screen of the game as it started randomizing through possible songs.
Steph tapped on the shoulder of a guy that had his phone out ready to record.
"Umm. Excuse me but what's happening?"
Pshh, family of the world's greatest detective my butt.
He looked over and explained.
"Oh! New here are we? Well this is °Flash Move°. It's a game where two teams have to dance against eachother to a randomly chosen song while making up moves on the spot. The game also randomly flashes bright lights to try to disorient the players into tripping or messing up."
Or blind. WhO kNoWs?
The stranger continued "These two teams are called the 'Chaos Kids' and 'Suspense'. 'Suspense' used to have the high score until one day the 'Chaos Kids' just waltzed right in and beat them first try. They keep trying to claim the title back but the CK's just can't be beat. Their dance moves are so good. No one knows how they're so synchronized despite having to make up moves on the spot. Oh! It's starting!"
When they turned around the screen of the game said "Chosen song is When You're Bitching With A Friend At 2am But Then It Starts Sounding Poetic".
Another song to add to the 'truly inspiring song name' list.
Dick whispered to Tim. "Wait, isn't that the Miracle Team's newest song?"
"I think so." He replied
Then the lights started dimming and the crowd started counting down.
"THREE!"
"TWO!"
"ONE!"
"DANCE!"
Suddenly the four teens started moving.
It was clear that the two teams were great dancers but there was one glaring fact that explained why the 'Chaos Kids' usually won.
While 'Suspense' was great at dancing and making up moves on the spot, it looked like the two were dancing two different routines.
The CK's on the other hand were synchronized danced scarily well to the music.
Almost as if they already listened to the song over a thousand times and could read eachother's mind.
But that's impossible!
Mind links ARE a thing but the song was JUST aired!
Like, literally 2 hours ago aired.
But watching the two 'Chaos Kids' dance almost made them doubt.
Their limbs were sharp and hit every beat perfectly and there bodies twisted in ways that matched with the emotion from the song.
The most amazing thing about the two had to be their costumes though.
At first their outfits seemed as normal as they could be but under the flashing lights of the game they started GLOWING!
It was like a blacklight affect where when you put something under a certain type of light writing or something else like that would be revealed.
Hundreds of neon colorful music notes suddenly appeared on their clothing and the once silver embroidered "Chaos Kids" on the back of their jackets turned gold.
As Jason was watching the teams compete, wonder where the heck he can get a cool jacket like that, he overhears the two girls from earlier talking.
"Wow, their outfits keep getting cooler and cooler! I wonder where they get them from?"
"Oh, you didn't know? She designs them herself! I wonder if she does commissions?"
'Dang, she looks about 15 and she made those jackets herself? That's talent.' Jason thought as he turns his head back towards the dancers.
As the competition progressed you could see that team 'Suspense' was starting to get sweaty and tired while the CK's weren't even breathing too hard.
As the music ended the 'Chaos Kids' did a dramatic finishing move.
It was a spin and dip that sorta gave off tango vibes but instead of the boy dipping the girl, it was the other way around.
For a moment everything was quiet.
Everyone turned to the game screen and saw the point bars climb higher and higher.
When they finally stopped and the game proclaimed the CK's as the winners the crowd erupted in clears and applause.
The batfam was also cheering and clapping but stopped when the winners took off their masks.
The blue eyed girl had pale freckles splashed across her face and a blinding smile that could put the sun out of business while the boy had a jade green eyes filled with pride and mischief and wore a very familiar smug smirk on his face.
"Wait. DAMIAN!?!"
The ex-assassin whipped his head at the sound of his name and froze in his spot went he saw who said it.
"Shit."
Marinette turned to face her friend when she heard him curse.
"Dove what is it? Are you okay? You're looking a little tense there."
He forced himself to stop staring at his family and grimaced.
"Yeah I'm fine but it seems that there are a couple familiar faces in this crowd."
He pointed to the stunned group.
"And I don't think that they were really expecting all this."
"Oh! Well why don't we go over to your family and expla- wait. Do you hear that?"
Damian stopped and focused and sure enough, the sound of a certain icecream man singing was heard.
He and Marinette made eye contact and simultaneously said "Icecream."
At this point the batfam snapped out of their shock and was making there way towards the two dancers.
They were about to say something when they were cut off by their youngest brother.
"Sorry guys really would like to chat but we've got an icecream man to catch."
"W-wha, iCeCrEaM?!?" Said Jason in disbelief
Marinette popped into their conversation
"Yep! A code 37 and André moves fast so we gotta go!"
In less than a second the two were suddenly sprinting out the door and away from the other Waynes.
"Quick! AFTER THEM!" Yelled Steph.
They ran out the door and followed the two gremlin children down the street.
As they were running Dick turned to Tim.
"What the heck is even happening?!?" He asked panicked and confused
"I don't know and I sure as fuck would like an answe- is tHAT A GO CART MADE OUT OF LEGOS?!?"
Sure enough the two teens were sitting it what looked like the go cart from Wreck-It Ralph but made out of Legos with Marinette at the wheel driving as if she was trying to run away from Lila herself.
They tried to follow them but then the two runaways started talking to eachother for a bit before Damian pulled out a bucket, turned and started throwing burnt pancakes at them??
Just. What??
The group of vigilants stopped after a while to wipe all food off of them and take a breath.
Steph started screaming at the sky. "WhAt ThE fUdGe Is GoInG oN????"
Tim starting screaming as well.
"aaaaAaAaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
A man was walking by when they saw the group breaking down and walked up to them.
"Ah. First day in Paris? I see that you've already witnessed the seemingly constantly on crack trolls known as the 'Chaos Kids'. Don't worry, you'll get used to them. Though I would suggest that you get your emotions under raps unless you want to be the next akuma."
Dick looked up from where he was sitting in a feeble position on the floor rocking back and forth.
"Wait, akuma? I've heard the term when watching those CGI videos of the Miracle Team fighting and singing but what are they?"
The stranger looked at him like he was crazy.
"You came to Paris without knowing what akumas are?! They're magical butterflies created by Hawkmoth and sent out to posses people that are feeling negative emotions. He turns them into super powers villains that attack Paris and the Miracle Team in hopes of getting their Miraculouses."
Now it was Jason who looked up at the man from where he was rolling around on the street.
"Wait, the fighting in the music videos were legit?! You must be fucking around, there's no way those were real."
The man deadpanned.
"I am not lying. Those attacks ARE legit and very real. Sometimes all too real. I should know, I was the Mime and ended up destroying the Eiffel tower under Hawkmoth's influence."
He looked at his watch.
"I have to go pick up my daughter now but if you want to research and get more info I would suggest looking up the Bug!Out blog. It has regular updates and an akuma alarm that will warn you if an attack is happening. Good day, and remember to keep those negative emotions at bay!"
The stranger yelled the last bit to them as he walked away, leaving the group frozen there on the street.
After a few moments Steph spoke up.
"Welp, this goes much deeper than we initially thought. Dibs on not telling Bruce that there's a super terrorist on the lose that uses evil butterflies the posses people! Oh, I also call not telling Bruce that we lost Damian!"
In the end they made Dick tell the rest of the fam what was happening with the purple butterflies and where they found Damian and his friend.
They didn't believe the group about the Damian situation but they did go and look into the akuma problem and how they could help.
They decided that they should probably meet up with the Miracle Team first before putting anything into action incase there is something more to this whole situation.
When the batfam and the Miracle team met up for the first time it was during patrol in the middle of the night.
Damian knew that his family was in the city but he didn't know why and what their reason was for them all to be in uniform.
When the team made their way over to the Bats and Birds, some of them practically lit up like kids in a candy store.
At first they were sort of suspicious but what happened next made Night Prowler burst in laughter.
While the half the batfam was asking about how they could help the other half was practically praising the ground they were walking on.
Does anyone have a camera?
He needs to document this momentous occasion.
Ladybug pulled her partner to the side and tried to figure out why he was laughing so hard.
Damian just couldn't believe it.
'My family, the famous Bat-Clan, is not only asking ME, their youngest member, for an autograph which they will most likely frame somewhere, but they are also practically treating us like gods.'
"Please tell me this isn't a dream. I don't want to wake up."
Night Prowler said to his best friend (and maybe crush hmmm).
"Umm this isn't a dream? Are you okay?" Asked said best friend in concern.
"Remember how I told you that I was a vigilant when you first gave me the ring?"
"Yes? Why does this have to do wi-"
"I'm Robin."
"....."
"....."
"As in Gotham's Robin? One of Batman's sidekicks?"
"We prefer to go by partners but ya."
"......."
"......."
"Wait if you're Robin does that make the rest of your family that we saw one earlier today the rest of the Bat-Clan?"
"Yep."
"......"
"....."
"Wanna see how long we can troll them for until they find out our identities?"
"Oh heCK YEAH!"
After giving the bats and birds their superhero autographs the two teams came to an agreement and decided to add a little competition to it while they're at it.
They decided that whichever member of the Batfam discovers Hawkmoth's identity first would get the pleasure of knowing who they really are before they reveal themselves to the others.
This would prevent them from trying to hunt down their real names.
Oh, and the winner also gets to have MDC's and Jagged's civilian autographs as well as a MDC original.
The stakes are high, VERY HIGH.
And this is craziness waiting to happen.

So after weeks of waiting here is the second part of the story! Sorry it took so long, I'm not exactly the fastest writing but reading all of your comments really made my day! There is still more to this story that will be in the works so you don't have to worry about all the chaotic goodness ending just yet!

TAGLIST (I actually can't believe it omg):

kaymarie72 reblogged

wannajointhecrabcult

Masks and Music

(Part 1)

Part 2

I didn't think that my last post would've gotten ANY notes at all, so imagine my surprise when I find out that people actually liked it. After that suprise I thought why not and make another one so here we go! This is a Miraculous/Batfam crossover.

Imagine that Damian gets sent to Paris because the fam doesn't want him to become an emotionally constipated sad boi like Bruce and think that a change in scenery would help.
They don't know about the whole Hawkmoth situation because SOMEONE from the justice league decided that the while thing was a prank DESPITE that it was an ENTIRE CITY calling instead of a single person.
Like, aren't you guys supposed to be the world's greatest heros or something?
Who hired you?
Damian being the grumpy lil kid that he is holds a grudge and decides to not accept any calls or video chats from his family or tell them about Hawkmoth because that's what you get when you send someone across the world against their will.
(and because of plot convenience shhh)
Anyways, Damian goes to school as instantly adds Lila onto his mental list of people he needs to get rid of.
I mean, seriously, he's only been is the room for what, 15 seconds and he's already getting a migraine?
Great. Juusssttt great.
He sits in the back of the class with what seems to be the only person with brain cells in this room.
The dark haired girl just looks over and sees the disgust at Lila written all over his face and gives him a silent empathetic nod.
'This is unfortunately normal here.' she tries to convey through the small action.
He just nods back to show his understanding before turning around to observe the others.
In a few minutes Ms. Bustier walks in the room and asks him to introduce himself to the class.
It looks like the teacher never told the class that they were getting a new student because they all have to do double takes when they realize that there's a new face in the room.
He gives them the bare basics, telling them that his name is Damian Grayson, he's from America, and that he doesn't want any of them to talk to him before sitting down.
Clearly the teacher wanted him to say more or scold him for being so rude but a glare shut her up.
Later during a break period Lila tries to flirt with him and brags all about how she's met so many different celebrities and her achievements.
He tells her off and tries to move away but her nails are digging into his arms as she tries to convince him that he should stay away from Marinette.
Before he can maim her, the dark haired girl comes out from behind him and starts spraying Lila down like an unruly cat with some sort of strong smelling liquid from a spray bottle.
Lila screeches and stomps away.
When he turns to his hero the girl explains.
"It's a mixture of shredded lemon, expired maple syrup, vinegar, and pomegranate juice. I call it People Repellant but Thot Begone works too. Oh, and I'm Marinette by the way."
He eyes her hand before shaking it.
"Damian, though I assume you already know that. Can I get some of that by the way? I know a couple insufferable annoyances that would benefit from a spray down.
Marinette just blinks for a second before she bursts out laughing and that was the start of a great friendship.
Together they:
Make fun of Lila in the back of class.
Help eachother with homework (they only cheat off eachother when they REALLY need help)
Prank Lila in odd ways (Hey, just because she found hundreds of furbies hidden around her house that turn on one by one in the middle of the night effectively scaring the crap out of her when she's trying to sleep doesn't mean that it's their fault. She had it coming.)
Break a couple laws (shhhhhhh. Those toy stores don't need those furbies anyways).
Dare eachother over stupid things (they still insist that the cereal incident was caused by the other).
And overall become closer as friends.
They bring out the overdramatic chaotic gremlin child in eachother.
One time when Damian goes over to Marinette's place to work on a project he finds her singing a Disney song to herself on her balcony.
This isn't the first time they've caught eachother singing.
One time Marinette caught Damian in the art room at school humming one of the many annoyingly cheesy and catchy songs that Dick likes to listen to.
Despite him explaining the embarrassing situation to her she still teased him for weeks after.
He'll never get to live it down.
Damian shakes his head to get rid of the flashback when a devious smirk spreads across his face as a revenge plan comes to mind.
After carefully placing his stuff on the floor he sneakily makes his way across the space until he's right behind her.
That's when he joins in.
Screaming at the top of his lungs at first, effectively giving her a mini heart attack before eventually quieting down to a normal singing volume.
She glares at him, annoyed by his loud and obnoxious entrance before she starts singing again.
They eventually end up full Disney movie dramatically performing around her balcony with dance moves and over dramatic acting.
Is it bad that actual birds and other animals are appearing and joining in?
Damian totally kept one of the pigeons.
He named it Dolores.
(He later trained Dolores to attack Rossi on sight.)
When they're finished they end up on the floor out of breath.
They stay like that for a few minutes before Damian sits up.
"That. That was fun. I don't think I've actually ever sang before."
Marinette jolts up in suprise and turns to face him.
"Really? I never would've guessed. You have a really nice singing voice."
He would deny till his dying breath that he blushed when she said that but he covers it up with a smirk.
"Well I guess that's just because yours is so terrible in comparison."
He squawks when she jabs a finger in his side.
"Pshh. As if. Besides, my singing skills can't be worse then your gaming skills." She challenges with a cheeky smile.
"ExCuSe mE?!"
And that's how they spend the rest of the day playing video games, leaving the unfinished project to be completed on a later day.
Good thing it isn't due until 2 weeks time.
After a couple of hours playing video games, creating many possible Lila murder plans, eating pastries, and joking around, it's time for him to leave.
As Damian left for his place he got a feeling that something big was gonna happen.
Marinette also got the feeling but they both ignored it.
Little did they know, someone just happened to walk by and starstruck by the amazing singing they recorded the performance before posting it on the internet.
Imagine the duo's suprise when they wake up the next day to find themselves trending on the internet.
Luckily the video quality was pretty trash so their faces weren't identifiable but the audio was loud and clear.
The world was talking about the cute couple singing to their hearts desire on a balcony. If that's not cliche and adorable then the world doesn't know what is.
The assumption about their relationship status left them looking like tomatos but that didn't stop them from wonder why they didn't notice a creep recording them.
Damn Disney songs and their unnatural ability to distract people.
Of course Lila took advantage of the rising popularity of the video and talked about how she taught the two people in the video how to sing and gave them tips.
The two just walked past the idiot squad and sat down in their seats, making a mental note to come up with a prank later, when the akuma alarms came on.
They fall into their normal routine of Marinette running out to find a place to transform as Damian covers for her.
Oops did I forget to mention that Damian found out her identity because she crashed through his window in the middle of the night still transformed and asked him what's the answer to question 24 in their science homework because she just defeated an akuma by herself and was running on 20 minutes of sleep?
My bad.
Anyways it turns out today was the day Marinette had officially had enough of Chat's bullcrap.
It was gonna be a normal akuma situation.
Ladybug trying to fight the poor butterfly victim while chat noir either doesn't show up, tries to do everything on his own to impress her and ruins the whole plan, or just watches and complains about how she needs to get over her denial and date him BUT
This time he decided to actively try to push her in the akuma's way therefore putting her in SO MUCH MORE DANGER than she was already in.
Now she had to dodge out of the akuma's way AND CHAT'S!
WhAt ThE fUdGe?!?!
You think possibly killing Ladybug and trying to force her to beg for you to save her is gonna make her like you?!?
Just how hard did you hit your head when Gabriel dropped you on the floor when you were 2?
After the akuma was eventually defeated Ladybug told Chat to meet her on an abandoned rooftop that night because they needed to talk.
Chat being the oblivious person that he is (I swear I don't actually hate chat noir, this is for the plot I'm sorry) thought that it was for a love confession and became overly smug before leaving.
Making sure that he isn't following her, Marinette meets up with Damian at his place (school's over because of the attack) and asks him to help.
Later that day when the two miraculous holders meet up Ladybug distracts the Catboy by flirting with him while Damian uses his ninja skills for something other than sneaking up on her and giving Marinette mini heart attacks.
From behind he quickly hits a pressure point causing the other boy to fall unconscious.
Using her ALMIGHTY GUARDIAN OF THE MIRACULOUS powers, Ladybug takes Adrien's ring away and places a spell on him that makes it so he will never be able to use another miraculous ever again.
After they take Adrien home Marinette gives Damian the ring and Night Prowler is born.
He promises to do everything in his power to make sure that Selina and his family doesn't find out for the sake of his pride.
We'll see how that goes.
Night Prowler first officially appeared during an akuma named 'Break Dancer'.
Ironically, she was a ballerina that had to drop out of the finals in a competition because she broke her right leg the day before the show.
She could turn civilians into back up dancers and forced them to perform against their will.
They also worked as minions who would attack the duo for her while she stayed a safe distance away.
It was pretty obvious that the akumatized item was the music box held inside the bag that Break Dancer had slung around her shoulders but the real question was how could they get to it without becoming attacked by the backup dancer or becoming one of them.
Luckily (eheheh), a car with an open window playing music just happened to pass by before driving off.
Before it drove off, the music coming from the car was loud enough to play over the music box which caused some of the minions to become free again and run off.
Ladybug called her lucky charm and a Bobby pin landed in her hand.
As she looked around she noticed a store a couple blocks away that had a couple radios.
Unfortunately, the store was locked and closed.
Fortunately, she knew how to pick locks and a Bobby pin did come from her lucky charm soooo......
Who is she to deny literal gods.
They break into the store and grab a radio, and a speaker and rush over to where the akuma was causing chaos.
They turn on the radio, connect the speaker and turn the volume on as loud as it can go before flipping through the stations for a good song.
If they're gonna fight with music in the background they're gonna be picky about it and wont settle for anything other than epic.
While fighting they eventually get swept up in the music and end up singing along.
It's nothing less than full on majestic.
When the fight is over and the akuma is purified they find out that someone recorded it and posted it on the internet as well.
Now everyone knows that the beloved hero of Paris and her new partner were the two people singing on that balcony.
Ummmmm.....
Good thing that the video quality was trash right?
If it weren't for that their identities would've been busted the moment they started singing in hero form.
Luckily there aren't many people other than Damian that know what Marinette's singing voice sounds like so they're okay.
Well.... They WERE okay,
Until a certain rockstar and his agent came across the two videos and put two and two together.
So now King Sting (bee!jagged) and Peridot (turtle!penny) have joined the team.
Poor Penny, now she has to deal with two gremlin children and a some sort of bizarre man-child.
The next akuma confused the group quite a bit.
He didn't really do anything but sit on a rooftop waiting for the miracle team to show up.
They were all suspicious of him at first but when they did reveal themselves to him he explained his situation.
He was akumatized because his favorite rock band broke up but he didn't really want to take their miraculouses away.
He just asked if they could perform another song for him and he would give his akumatized item to them.
They all sorta looked at eachother and collectively went 'screw it why not' and sang another song.
If they were great before, they are absolutely AMAZING now.
Well that's what happens when you add a famous rockstar to a team of singing superheros I guess.
The akuma was blown away and true to his word handed over the rolled up picture in his pocket and was purified despite of Hawkmoth's nagging.
Haha screw you Hawky.
This time the ordeal was recorded by a news station and the 'hand over the akuma in exchange for a song' thing became a trend.
There were still normal akuma's that didn't follow follow it but those were far flung between.
It seems like Hawkmoth was getting annoyed by this so there started being less akuma attacks over the months.
Because of this some people were actively trying to get upset to attract one of the purple butterflies.
They traded one good thing for another I guess.
To stop that from happening the group started performing in public as superheros during concerts and festivals.
Because of this they became quite well known outside of Paris as well.
Is it ironic that more people know them as a band rather than a superhero team now?
When Marinette learned that they could change what their superhero costumes looked like if they put enough will into it she squealed.
Marinette designs superhero performance costumes for them whenever they have a festival to play at.
Whenever asked about their outfits they always reply with MDC.
Marinette's business gets really popular after that.
And since no one knows who MDC really is, she doesn't have to worry about the whole "Oh no me and my family are gonna be in danger!" thing
It's a win win!
Overtime they basically become a second (or third for some people) family to eachother.
Damian becomes more 'kid like' and open to others,
Marinette becomes more confident and overall happier,
Jagged gets to hang out with his awesome niece and her 'maybe more than just a friend',
And Penny gets a new outlet for stress and has so many more crazy stories to tell people.
One day while she's in the living room on the sofa watching 'The AristoCats' Damian just barges into the room and dramatically flops over onto of her.
He just lays there with his head in her lap and the rest of his body sprawled on the couch.
After everything that has happened this is normal for them now.
Without asking any questions or talking at all they just watch the movie together with the occasional remark or quip between them.
Around half way through the movie Jagged kicks down the door, effectively scaring the crap out of the two teens, while Penny follows behind him with an apologetic look on her face.
At first Jagged was yelling about something having to do with'Fang' and 'Dragon' and 'Miraculous' but after taking in the domestic atmosphere of the room he just sits down on the floor and joins in on watching the movie.
Penny, shaking her head in both amusement and exasperation, sits down on another chair and does the same.
While combing through Damian's hair with her fingers Marinette looks around the room.
'My life can't get any more complicated, can it?'
Oh boy, she just jinxed it.

This is just an idea I've had bouncing around in my head for awhile and I couldn't resist the urge to write it out. I AM planning on making a part 2 so if you like this keep an eye out for that. I'm by no means a fast writer though so it will take a while. But then again not many people will probably read this soo.... Yeah.

kaymarie72 reblogged

princeanxious

downtostars

This is not my picture- but husband just called, made me put it on video phone, and walked up and down the block to show me this amazing library and I really want to go to Kansas City now.

I never thought I would need to go to Kansas City but here we are

Um…I live here, I like books (I probably have a stack of 20 to read don’t judge…) and have never heard of this library but you best believe imma be in that bitch sometime. BET!

I’m bout to head out there and see what this is all about. ETA 16 minutes. I deadass threw on some clothes and was just like fuck it let’s go. Gotta hurry, it closes at 5!

I deadass walked around the wrong building but, we out here!

I worked up damn sweat walking out here but fuck it!

Here’s the front door…

This is right when you walk inside. Some punk ass dude said he was going to photo bomb me. I invited him to take a picture, but he was like nah bruh.

A little lounge area, a cafe, elevators and stairs for those who want them! Its legit!

Taking a stroll on the second floor now! We have some artwork, some videos!

They have a place for kids and teens too on the second floor! It’s dope! They do say though that as an adult I couldn’t use the bathroom. They don’t want those problems! Kids was in there playing some Area 51 game? They got a spot for toddlers to chill! They got that little area like you see at the doctors office where kids can go and kill time. But kids play on iPhones and shit now tho but it’s still dope!

3rd floor now. This place is friendly for those who are homeless. They got WiFi in here! Individual tables with outlets to charge your shit! Very very quiet in here since it is a library…duh K! Caught a young dude in here going over his football highlight tape. 18 years old, doesn’t know where he’s going to school, says he plays linebacker and running back. He was blasting on his highlight tape. He said his favorite player was Marshawn Lynch, just like mine!!! Also got a lil spot to watch tv! Onto the 4th and last floor…

Restroom is also on the 3rd floor too! Heads up!

4th and final floor now. It’s more secluded than the other three floors but they got books for years in this bitch! They got little study areas for people who want to chill and be by themselves. Whatever you want! Fiction, non fiction and everything in between!

Back on the first floor! If you go straight ahead from the entrance you’ll enter this other lil study hall area. They got more places to chill! They got iPads and computers and shit you can use! This is a dope ass public library. If you in the KC area and wanna check out a book…bring yo ass over here! They gotchu! If yo ass need to study for a test…come park yo dumbass over here and study!

I hope you all enjoyed the tour! Thanks to @jewleshasbadideas and @downtostars (I hope that’s the right name…) for bringing this to my attention! I’m hungry and I’m starting to smell a lil musty, working up a sweat doing all this walking… With this last pic…I’m out!

Check out this library! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✌🏾😊✊🏾

Read books dammit!

@librarycards

haunted-hideaway

I’ve been there for a conference! It’s a great place. It’s spacious and accommodating. Good coffee too.

kaymarie72 reblogged

thebookwormfairy

Buzzfeed Unsolved Part 3

Here's my contribution for Spooky season. This will be mainly class salt but there will be a little bit off the maribat team we love and their usual antics

Lila couldn't believe it
The whole point of pushing Marinette out of class life was to isolate her enough so that Lila would be the new class favorite but not enough that she'll leave
Who was suppose to to provide the class with free sweets and plan all the class outings and events
But here Lila was listening to Ms. Bustier as she made the announcement
Ms. Bustier: please take your seats class. We're going to hold elections for Class Representative
Alya: Shouldn't we wait for Marinette, Ms. Bustier? I mean she's the only one running right?
The rest of the class made sounds of agreement and nodded their heads
Lila tried not to roll her eyes
Ms. Bustier: Marinette will actually no longer be joining our class
Class: WHAT?!
Ms. Bustier: Marinette has been given a great opportunity to go to Gotham Academy one of the top rated schools in the world
Lila seeing a opportunity to spin this in her favor decided to speak up
Lila: So Marinette decided to abandoned us, even though she knew we counted on her. I mean who's going to help with costumes, or babysitting, or give us bake goods?
Alya: That's a good point!
Nino: This is going to mean we're going to have to cut down on our dates
Mylene: Oh no! The next school play is going to be a disaster without Marinette's costumes!
Adrien: How could Marinette just abandon us like this! It's not like her!
Ms. Bustier: Okay class calm down. We don't want any akumas now. Let's focus on the election for the next class representative. Are there any volunteers?
Unsurprisingly Chloe's hand shot up
Ms. Bustier: okay we have Chloe, anybody else?
Alya: how about you Lila? You'd make a great representative
Lila: Oh no I'm far to busy with all my volunteering and obligations, but you should definitely do it Alya. You were Marinette's deputy after all
Alya raising her hand: You're right? I mean how hard could it be?
Alya learned exactly how hard it is when she won the election and was told all her new duties
Alya: Are you serious? Marinette never brought any of these up to me
Ms. Bustier: She didn't want to cut too much into your time
It took awhile but Alya finally got the hang of things
Though none of the class events were as extravagant as when Marinette was in charge
She made Nino her deputy hoping it would give them more time together
And it did but it also meant that a lot of her paperwork was late meaning the class couldn't do as much stuff
But did the class blame Alya for this?
No
They blamed Marinette
Because somehow it was her fault that Alya were too wrapped up in her boyfriend to actually do her job
A couple of months later Lila and Alya watched the Ghoul Gang's (a/n: That's Marinette, Damian, and Jason's group name) first video that somehow had 10k views and already had 25k subscribers
Alya: How is she so popular?
Lila: How does she have so many views?
Alya: How does she have more hits then the Ladyblog?!?
They started scrolling through the short list of other videos that was posted
Adrien: Oh are you watching Marinette's videos?
Alya: You knew about this?
Adrien: Yeah it's not really my taste but I want to support our friend dont you guys?
Lila making her eyes tear up: Why would we want to support somebody who abandoned us
Alya wrapping her arms around Lila: Yeah Adrien she makes a good point. Marinette didn't even say goodbye!
Adrien trying to placate the two: Maybe she didn't have a chance
Lila: Oh please if she really wanted to she would had MADE time to say goodbye, right Alya?
Alya: Yeah!
The two girls showed the rest of the class the videos
And they had to admit they liked them
They were fun to watch and it was nice to see the old Marinette again
Lila could see this and it made her seeth
She had to turn this to her benefit
And she knew just how to do it
Lila: I can't believe you guys would support Marinette! It's obvious that she's just bragging and showing off her new life!
Chloe: I can't believe I'm saying this but Lila's right! It's obvious that Dupen-Cheng is just rubbing her new life in our faces! It's utterly ridiculous!
Alya hated that she agreed with Chloe but she also spoke of her agreement
Some of the other classmates agreed with them, but others like the member of Kitty Section and Nathaniel just thought that Lila and Alya were still a little hurt that Marinette left and Chloe was just jealous
They decided they would still watch the show just not talk about it with the rest of the class
A year later and Lila couldn't stand how popular Marinette's little YouTube channel was
She also couldn't stand that she had a richer boyfriend then her own, Adrien
So with the help of Alya, Nino, and of course her boyfriend Adrien they decided to do their own show
That was SLIGHTLY similar (read: rip off) of the Ghoul Gang's own show
They had Lila and Adrien as the host
Because of course they had to be the host, they were models and had more experience on camera
Nino did all the camera work
And Alya did research and worked sound
A lot of people called them out for being an obvious ripoff of the Ghoul Group's show from their name to their editing
But what people found worst that they were a bad ripoff
Lila and Adrien didn't have the same chemistry as Marinette and Jason
Adrien just agreed with whatever Lila said
There was no fun banter
And because neither of them believed in ghost there were no funny freakouts
Their show was mostly watched just for ripping on
Which both Alya and Lila hated
How could Marinette be so popular!
Lila just had to find some way to prove that her show is superior to Marinette's
And she learned the purest opportunity when she saw Marinette and the rest of the Ghoul Gang filming on some random street
Marinette: now we're back the next day at Rue Des Chantres after our terrifying investigation last night
Jason: What are you talking about it Thumbelina? It wasn't scary here last night. We even ran into the local heroes.
Damian: Which we'll be showing in a special bonus video at the end of our Paris series.
Marinette: Thanks Damian. And it was to scary. Remember what we heard on the spirit box, Green Giant?
Jason: Beep dop ga Apple tatter cre mauf
Marinette: No the other thing
Jason: Do you think we could make apple taters? Could that be a thing?
Damian: Focus Todd
Marinette: Anyway thanks for watching and join us next time to see us explore the famous catacombs under Paris. And for now weither the Rue Des Chantres is haunted will remain...
Marinette/Jason: Unsolved
Damian: And cut! Great job guys!
Marinette going over to hug Damian: Thanks honey. Great job filming as usual
Marinette gave Damian a peck on the lips
Jason: Seriously are Apple tatters possible? They sound good
Marinette: Maybe we can do some experimenting when we get back to the bakery.
Jason pumping his fist: Awesome!
Damian: We just have to finish on time to head to the catacombs. You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get the catacombs to ourselves tonight
Jason laughing: Calm down demon spawn besides this will be a nice bonus video
The trio walked away and Lils felt a smirk grow on her face
If she and her lackies could best those losers to the catacombs they could have a episode before them and it would look like they ripped off her group instead of the other way around
Later that night the Ghoul Group showed up at the Catacombs fully expecting to be let in only to be stopped by secruity
Secruity: Sorry folks the catacombs are close tonight. Apparently their filming something tonight
Lila looking smug: Yes that will be us we're the Ghoul Group.
Secruity: I'm sorry but the filming permit is under the name Damian Wayne. Is that one of you?
Alya: No, but their must he some mistake. Lila said she called and we were clear to film here tonight
Secruity: Sorry but without a permit you can't film here. Please move along
Lila: How dare you?! Do you no who I am?
Marinette from behind the group: No, but I do
Alya, Lila, Adrien, and Nino turned around to see Marinette, Damian, and Jason standing behind them
Damian walked forward to show secruity his ID
Alya, Nino, and Adrien: MARINETTE!
Marinette: Why are you trying to steal our filming location?
Alya: Why did you abandon us?
Marinette: What are you talking about?
Alya: You abandoned us! You left without saying a word! Who did you expect to pick up the slack after you left?! Who did you expect to do costumes for the school play, or run fundraisers or babysit Chris or the twins?! You completely left us in the lurch
Marinette felt any guilt about leaving without telling anybody melt away
Marinette glaring: I thought that the people who I thought were my friends only saw me as an employee, and you just proved it
Ayla rolling her eyes: What are you talking about Marinette? You're being over dramatic as usual
Marinette: That is what I'm talking about! Think back to the final couple of months I was in Paris. The only time anybody in the class talked to me was to ask me to do something for them, not even asking if I have time to do it just demanding that I complete what ever they wanted me to do! And you know what leaving was the best decision I ever made!
Marinette didn't wait to hear what Alya had to say she joined Jason and Damian at the entrance and followed them inside never giving thought to the friends she left behind again
3 months later the Ghoul Group broke up.
After Lila was shown to be working with Hawkmoth she was sent to juvenal hall
Lila, Nino, Adrien, and the rest of the class were left wondering how they could lose such a great friend because of a liar who tricked all of them

GIF by symphonickey

GIF by andrewilnyckyi

kaymarie72 reblogged

derek-and-stiles

“can you imagine the faces their children could make” (X)

n-no~ /sobbing

In my headcanon the sheriff would love whatever Stiles would present him as a grandchild.

(original grandthing made by spaggel I just borrowed it)

SCREAMING

GRANPA STILINSKI’S PRECIOUS ANGEL.

I was crying about this at work today and Spag had to send me fucking this:

“yeah, can you imagine first seeing him?”

And so, Stiles and Derek are not ready for parenthood and are totally freaked out by their weird son:

Derek’s quiet for a long time, staring blankly, before he eventually offers, “This isn’t what I expected.“ Stiles frowns down at the baby in his arms. “I know, right? They won’t take it back; I already asked.” Derek leans over him, peering down at the weird little face. It’s unsettling how thick the baby’s eyebrows are. “Are babies born with teeth?“ “Not usually,” Stiles replies. “His grody little snaggletooth is creeping me out.“ “His everything is creeping me out,” Derek retorts, dropping into the chair at the side of the bed. “I’m pretty sure this is because you got possessed by that demon.“ “Aw, hell no,” Stiles argues. “That thing was in me for like five minutes, tops. This thing - “ he nods toward the baby in his arms ” - you don’t absorb this kind of evil in five minutes. This is like ten years possession minimum.“ "What are we going to name him?” “Beats me. Calling him after your dad seems kind of disrespectful to your dad, doesn’t it?” Derek sighed heavily. “He probably would have found this hilarious. I told you my family’s cursed.“ He squinted over at Stiles. “You sure it’s even a boy?” “Dude, I’m not sure it’s even human,” Stiles replies. “Seriously, how come shit like this always happens to us?“ "Because the universe knows we’ll grin and bear it,” Derek sighs again. “You sure we can’t send it back?“

"No,” Stiles grumbles discontentedly, and straightens as his father steps into the room. He cradles the baby protectively to his chest; even if the thing’s weird as hell, it’s still his. “Whoa, Dad, before you pull out your gun and shoot the baby, I can promise you, with about ninety-percent certainty, that I did not give birth to a cave beast, even though it may look that way. And maybe this is our fault because Derek’s so fricken possessive of his jizz and refused to use a surrogate so we had to resort to black magic and give me a magical womb - so actually this is Derek’s fault, really - this is your grandson. Probably. We’re not too clear on the gender right now.“

The sheriff sighs, as he so often does when confronted with his son’s verbal onslaught, and holds out his hands, a silent give me the child. Stiles puckers his mouth and hands over his son and watches the sheriff’s face cycle through several emotions, ending, bewilderingly, on happiness.

"He’s beautiful," his father croons, and Stiles looks over, bewildered, at Derek, who mouths He’s not lying. He looks just as perplexed as Stiles.

"Just wait until Melissa sees him,” the sheriff says cheerfully, pulling his phone out of his pocket and snapping a picture.

“Yeah,” Stiles agrees slowly. He’s already regretting having shown his father how to use the camera on his phone. “Just wait.“

Newly Grandpa’d Stilinski show’s pictures of his most PRECIOUS OF ALL GRANDCHILDREN to who he’s interrogating so that if they look at the face of SUCH AN ANGEL they’ll confess and lead a good life.

THIS IS THEIR COME TO JESUS MOMENT.

Sorry, Spag, if the first one was stupid, then this one’s just idiotic. I’m going to bed. This is your fault.

They name it Herald. It was supposed to be Harold, after Derek’s grandfather, who Derek says was a weird old man and Stiles says that’s fitting, then, but Stiles was asleep when it came time to fill out the birth certificate and Derek couldn’t remember how to spell Harold, so he sounded it out.

So their kid’s name is Herald, but mostly they call him It. They don’t tell him it’s because they didn’t even know if he was human when he was born because he may be a little weirdo, but he’s their little weirdo, and they don’t want to stunt his mental health. Stiles almost tells him it’s because they loved The Addams Family, but then he thinks about how Cousin It was a weird thing covered in hair and maybe that’s not a great comparison.

It creeps them out. He is unnaturally silent, always with this bucktoothed little smile on his face that makes Stiles sure that he and Derek are going to be killed in their sleep. Stiles distinctly remembers playing hide and seek with him when he was young, Stiles and Derek crammed together in a cupboard and Derek mumbled, “I can’t hear his fucking heart,” and then It’s creepy little eye was pressed up to the crack in the door like the killer in a slasher fic and Stiles screamed like a little girl.

Still, they’re sad when he grows up and heads off to college. He’s still creepy; he’s got bad skin and his heavy eyebrows almost touch in the middle, but they kiss him on the forehead and say “We’ll miss you!“ which is probably true. And when he drives off into the battered Jeep, Stiles says to Derek, “I think we just unleashed a hellion unto the world,” and Derek says, “Too late now.“ And Stiles does miss him, up until a few days later when he goes to clean It’s room and finds a box of desiccated frog corpses under his bed.

They don’t hear from It that often, which isn’t unusual, nor unexpected. One time they lost him for a few days and Stiles found him sitting in the attic, perfectly still. He said he’d been counting heartbeats and neither of them really wanted to ask whose. Still, they miss him. Probably.

One morning Stiles goes downstairs and there’s a stranger standing in the living room. It’s near Christmas and he has a vague idea that It should be coming home soon, but he is not prepared for the sight of a handsome young man standing next to the Christmas tree. Stiles screams.

"That’s It,” Derek says from behind him.

“Oh my god,” Stiles says. “Where’d our ugly little boy go?“ He’d told It once not to worry about his looks, that everyone starts out awkward. Look at your dad, Stiles said, pointing Derek. He had to grow into those stupid buck teeth and big ears, and It had turned his eyes on Derek and didn’t blink for five minutes. Stiles hadn’t really believed that It would ever, uh, grow into himself, but it appears he was wrong, because his weird kid has turned into a GQ model. “Just like his dad,” Stiles says out loud, and Derek pushes him down the stairs.

BONUS PLOT TWIST: STILES WAS THE UGLIEST FUCKING BBY AROUND

THE UGLIEST BABY