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MXTX, Social Issues, and Shipping

@mind-the-wicked / mind-the-wicked.tumblr.com

Cosplay Blog: @valeriecosplay Tag me as mindthewicked. I just reblog stuff I like. Expect to see Marvel, MXTX, Star Trek, Witcher, Kingsmen, Jane Austin books, and various animes.
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Varric Tethras as a character is wild. He calls everyone by a nickname. He writes trashy romance novels. He’s a prolific liar. His family got them kicked out of the dwarf kingdom for rigging dwarven Wrestlemania matches. He has fingers in literally every crime ring in Kirkwall. He lives in a pub. He named his weapon after his absent girlfriend with whom he has a restraining order. He denies his involvement in keeping the wizard police away from his friend’s illegal magic Urgent Care. He’s the mom of the friend group. And he does this all while being four feet tall

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So. Predatory species Obi-wan.

Mostly I just think it's funny to make him a predator bc if you take all the SW character and go "which one looks more likely to eat someone" Obi-Wan would definitely not be it. Not even top 20. He's much more likely to deliver a devastating burn with a flat tone lmao but anyway!

Specifically, Obi-wan being from a species who's pretty damn known for eating people. Like, it's not the only thing they can eat but a...... Something big happened a while ago and the galaxy never really forgot. Nowadays Stewjoni people don't really eat anyone but it's.... Mostly because they don't leave their planet. The predatory instincts are definitely here (Quinlan wears proof of that because once when they were teenagers he made the mistake of pissing obi-wan off and letting his finger wander a bit too close and long story short, Obi-wan bit him so hard he severed Quinlan's finger and they had to go to a healer really fast. Obi-wan felt super guilty for a while but Quinlan annoyed him into forgiving himself. Nowadays he's more embarassed that he lost control so bad. Quinlan thinks it was hilarious and that he definitely expected to get bitten but he didn't expect the result.)

Mostly the instincts are just Obi-wan really wanting to bite people when they're annoying and maybe wanting to chase people if they turn their back to him and run. Also headbutting people to show affection, which became a Whole Thing™ when he was on Mandalore. He doesn't really thinks about how people would taste until he's hungry and he's really good at controlling himself.

But basically this whole thing came from an idea I had with Alpha-17!

Basically it's like. Obi-wan being a predatory species is a bit of a secret bc like.... It's not like he'd be killed if people knew but Stewjoni still have a really bad reputation. So he doesn't like to talk about it. And people don't really know because he looks so mild-mannered and he smiles with his mouth closed so you can't see the teeth and he hides his hands in his sleeves because otherwise he picks at his skin which is not good when one has claws.

Okay so the clones don't know Obi-wan is from a predatory species. He's not hiding it, but when the clones see him headbutt Anakin like an affectionate Tooka they either go "maybe that's a nat-born thing" or "maybe that's a Jedi thing" or "makes sense, my batch mate like keldabe kisses too". Due to their childhood they have literally no idea of what is Normal Human Behavior so they don't notice that Obi-Wan isn't human.

Point is, Obi-wan and Alpha get captured by Ventress and she tries to sow discord by being all "how can you trust a predator ? Unless you didn't know what he was? Then how can you trust something that hides what it is" basically she's just trying to get Alpha to distrust Obi-wan so he won't try to help him escape.

Obi-Wan's kind of expecting.... Not fear, exactly. Alpha sort of doesn't do fear. But he's expecting some agressivity at least. Some wariness.

Except Alpha is just mostly outraged. How come Kenobi, who won't even kill a few annoying senators, gets the biological advantages that comes with being a predator?? That's so unfair. This idiot wouldn't even think about eating anyone. Alpha could use the biology way better! He would have loved to be able to be a few kaminoans!! That's fucking unfair. How come his Jedi gets sharp fangs and he doesn't?? UN. FAIR.

Lmao yeah the whole plot is basically just Alpha being offended that his pacifist of a general won the genetic lottery while he (who would have used the fangs as they're meant to be used!!) didn't. Boo.

(Obi-wan is wondering why Alpha and Anakin don't get along better because they have startlingly similar reactions to learning about his species)

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personally i think there should have been at least one episode where sokka collects aang and zuko and is like, “looks like we’re running low on supplies.  time for a GUYS-ONLY field trip.  three days of hunting and fishing and polishing our swords.  y’know, manly warrior stuff.  (aang, sotto voce: actually sokka i’m a vegetarian as you know–)  you girls have fun sitting around braiding your hair and talking about your crushesand then the entire episode is just zuko and sokka lying around by a river, plucking blades of grass and staring up at the stars confiding in each other their deepest feelings and most secret insecurities while aang braids flower crowns, and whenever the screen cuts back to katara and toph and suki, they’re fighting and screaming and hacking away at river pirates and evil spirits and legions of assassins and hired mercenaries with swords.  you know, as girls do.

and when the boys finally drag themselves back to camp (they stayed up way too late discussing what true leadership really means and whether or not power always corrupts)  they find suki and toph and katara lounging around with black eyes and fresh bruises and bloodstained weapons and sokka shrieks, “what were you guys DOING while we were gone???”  and karata just shugs innocently and says in her sweetest voice, “oh, you know.  just girly things”

they are absolutely still wearing the crowns and they don’t have a single fish to show for their efforts

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hofudlaus

i did it

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gffa

Things I believe with all my heart and soul:  Obi-Wan Kenobi cheats at games. Card games, holoboard games, dice games, space paintball games, etc.  You name it, he’ll cheat at it. And he has such an unreadable face that nobody can ever catch him at it, they suspect maybe a quarter of the time he’s got a card up his sleeve or that he moved the Holo pieces on the dejarik board or that he used the Force to turn over the dice to a better roll, but they can never prove it and eventually everyone who’s known him for longer than a week refuses to play any kind of game with him anymore. The one time Ahsoka managed to catch him sliding a card up his sleeve for later, she crowed about it for a week, and Obi-Wan had never been prouder of her.  (He’s tried to teach Anakin how to cheat at cards, but that disaster just has no sabacc face whatsoever and can’t spot anyone else’s tell to save his life, once he gets going on a game.)

I very firmly know that Obi-Wan teaches the “how to pickpocket, hotwire spaceships, and cheat at cards” class for Senior Padawans who’ve otherwise qualified to go out on solo missions. You have to steal a speeder from PlanetSec, pickpocket from a Healer, steal the weapon off a Temple Guard, and bamboozle a Crechemaster plus one of the members of the high council before you’re allowed to head out solo.

The fact that he teaches the class still doesn’t solve the mystery of how he does it. His methods work– no one ever lacks for credits for food or the ability to win a starfighter ride home– but even as you know he’s cheating you right in front of your face, something in you still doesn’t believe it.

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