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Palace of Smack

@mizzsmack

Come for the canapés, stay for the gossip.
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Dirrty, part 2

And even Christina fucking Aguilera is wearing TIGHTS.

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Dirrty

I just can’t. This is the WORST she has ever looked. EVER.

It is beyond the unforgivable blue venetian blinds “magic ass flashing” skirt in New Zealand. It is worse than the giant, flapping, floral Givenchy Super 8 bedspread worn to the society wedding of Celia McCorquodale.

It is a fucking polyester monstrosity that probably gave off sparks as she shuffled across the car seat to get out, complete with bare legs and suede slingbacks in the dead of January. Clock the lovely purple hooker bruise on her upper thigh as the dress rides up, and the stringy hair extensions coupled with zero neckline makes her look like she is wearing a wig from Party City. Just a head plopped onto a square body built like a brick shithouse on two chopsticks for legs.

I’m crying laughing- I mean, I just CAN’T. I would literally give my left tit to be the courtier bring HM the papers with this thing on the cover; a jacket nipping at the armpits because it is too small to be closed, the polyester dress halfway up her naked thighs with the purple bruise on display, the wet slingbacks worn in January rain, the large empty purse with the gold grill swinging about topped off by the fake fur hair. Picture the sound in the drawing room: the crumple of the newspaper being opened, the dead silence, and then the sound of a teaspoon dropping against a china saucer. And then oceans more of dead silence. The courtiers would be around the corner, shaking with silent laughter.

Ohhhhhh fuck me. Like I said, I just CAN’T.

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reblogged

Submitted: Markle Debacle: How PR reverses cause and effect

I think Markle debacle boils down to something very simple:  Meghan was TERRIFIED of Markles (dad, siblings, diplomat uncle) EVER having contact with the royals or even just palace staff out of fear they might expose her lies (even inadvertently). At first I thought Doria looked dignified etc. Now I think Meghan and Doria are very similar and only Doria could be trusted to zip it. 

At the same time, Meghan’s PR has worked hard to reverse cause and effect. Markles spoke to media only because Meghan cut them off so decisively. PR wants us to believe instead that M cut contact because Markles talk to media. 

Siblings should not have had to hear of H&M fauxmance from tabloids. A normal person with nothing to hide (even one who is not at all close to siblings and very distant) would have informed them with a personal call and put them in touch with palace for help with paps. Maybe she would not have invited them but offering palace funded media assistance was the absolute minimum. Harry and the palace PR likely warned her of media interest in her family and offered help. Meghan: I have no family. From the start, Meghan was looking for excuses to COMPLETELY shut down all contact between family she never had and the new one. 

 So yes, she was angling for the solo church entrance + Charles walk, but that was second priority. Interview with photog Arthur Edwards revealed two facts. 1) H&M knew a couple of days ahead DM would publish staged pap shot story (possibly with strong encouragement by Meg’s private PR contacts); & 2) Harry, NOT Meghan spoke with dad. 

She could’ve easily prevented the whole crisis by picking up the phone herself and offering little carrots but she NEEDED a FOREVER crisis to permanently close communication between Markles and palace staff. She put Dimwit on the phone with her dad after feeding Hapless her pack of lies. I think Dad was especially was hurt by by her hypocritical pap shots response and lashed out. Dad likely knows she has staged her own pap shots. He hasn’t called her out on that publicly (yet).

Not one of the Markles spoke negatively about her to the press at first, but only later after 1) paparazzi had been camping outside their homes for months 2) Meghan had not helped them at all, and 3) worst of all, I think Meghan PR had a hand in the stories painting all the Markles including Dad, as losers etc, esp recent stories.  

Meghan appears to be a narcissist. This personality has no qualms about throwing relatives and friends to the wolves to achieve their goals. Her father does not seem vindictive but is very outspoken.  

The problems now are 1) Meghan underestimated how this crisis would backfire on her (in fact even the ROYALS, placing great emphasis on family unity, probably expect Meghan to defend her family): and 2) she underestimated the Markle’s anger and their right and determination to defend themselves, especially after having been portrayed so horribly in the press. Whatever addiction problems etc. her brother has, he NEVER deserved to have that advertised in the global headlines. The family deserved better from Meghan even if they were not close. 

Meghan has not realized that she is nothing but a boring, fake, facade and not even particularly glamorous without professional photoshop/stylist team. If anyone has any interest in her (apart from a few teenagers) it’s precisely because of people wondering how far she can carry her scam, spiced up with the fashion disasters. She probably believes she is “better” than her family, that her staged pap walks are OK (she was born to royalty). 

I will allow the royals one thing: although a lot of their marriages ended in divorce, the public was never so skeptical of anyone marrying them only for $ and fame. The “commoners” at least seemed to genuinely like their royal spouses, at least at the start. . Meghan, the “professional actress” hasn’t been able to pull that off.  (Sorry for length)

Thanks for sending this in!

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mizzsmack

Perfectly said. I could not have put it better myself.

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“BOOOOOOOO-KAY residence! No, one would NOT be caught dead in this floral monstrosity!”

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Bare scabby legs. The carpet burn on the knee adds a certain “je ne sais quoi” to the look, don’t you think, darlings? Also, it must have been a lovely Saturday spent at Michaels, doing the hat making workshop. 50% off ribbons and notions with the coupon! I hear that sometimes they even bring in free donut holes and watery coffee from the gas station next door!

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