Freefall 5/-
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warning: angst, fluff, mild smutt, romance, adventure, reconciliation, cursing, anxiety.
After the events of ‘Going Under’ you start a new life in Tokyo. Realizing those events changed you in more than one way. You’re not just the nice analyzer girl, you take life in your own hands again. Only to be pulled back into the rabbit whole.
After almost 2 years the Avengers call upon your help. Recapturing the one person that made your life a living hell. Going on a manhunt, or more likely woman hunt, with the one person you hoped to leave behind for good. Will things spark again between the two of you or are you as cold as ice?
A/N: Finally! The backstory is finished and we can sollemnly concentrate on Steve and You! Starting with this chapter! You two finally go on a mission and well lets say, things are heating up!
Chapter 05: Setsuzoku Suru / Connecting
The following days were full of preparations, meetings and arranging things. Tony, Owen, Callie and Lexi were occupied with the digital preparations, making sure your gear was up to date, connected and as invisible as possible.
Wanda and Peter where reading books so they could give you the important information before leaving. Sam and Bucky had whished the both of you good luck, before going on their own mission. Hoping they would find Thor or someone who could make contact with him.
Natasha had taken a plane to Austria, while Avery visited an old friend in Albuquerque. Everyone was occupied with preparing the first part of this mission, trying to think ahead so that every follow-up mission was prepared easily. The fact that all of you knew little to nothing about the Cintamani stone, Shangri-la or Sharon’s plan, made you nervous and on edge. Let alone the fact that false identities was not an option, because Steve was going with you. Going on a mission with Captain America made it impossible to pretend to be someone else.
A mission with Steve, your stomach turned, was it turning or butterflies? How would you cope with your feelings, could you keep them in check. Hopefully everything went as planned, hopefully you didn’t stand out to much seeing you’re with Captain America on a charity event, hopefully you weren’t pushed into some shitty compromised position. Realizing you’re pouring a lot of hope into this mission, makes you chuckle at your own ignorance. Thinking about the things that could happen, let alone the situations that could make things more awkward between the two of you, made your heart race. Continuing packing your bag, a single thought crossed your mind, a cliché when you were on mission, but what if you had to kiss him? What would you do? Could you keep it strictly professional or would you betray yourself? Guess you’d have to wing it, when it happened.
“Do you have everything? Did you check your coms? Have you checked your access to the cloud?” Lexi rambled, while pacing through the room. “Lexi…Lexi…LEXI..Could you shut it!”, you say loud, making the redhead jump and look angry at you. “You kept on rambling about things we’ve already checked trice”, you say looking at her, glaring back.
“Listen, we have everything we need. When we land in Morocco we’ll call grandma over there (you pointing towards Tony) to let her know we had a safe trip. From there, we have radio silence, until we are in the venue”, you explain the first steps of your mission again, seeing Lexi calm down a little.
“Lexi, listen I’ve done this so many times. Technically it’s an extract mission, go in, find the book and get out”, you shrug your shoulders. “Except, that this extract mission has an extra challenge, don’t forget Sharon”, Owen reminds you, putting the last things in your bag.
“Don’t worry Owen, we’re going to make sure, that she doesn’t get the book or see us”, Steve says calm, putting his bag in the quinjet. “You better make sure, she doesn’t get one of you two. And don’t, just don’t pick a fight with each other”, Owen warns, glaring at Steve. “Don’t make such a fuss, we won’t bite each other’s head off, at least until we have the book, okay”, you say playfully, getting an angry look from Owen. “Just make sure, nothing happens, okay?”, Owen ask you. “Can’t guaranty you that”, you smile, giving him a hug, walking in the quinjet, closing the tailgate. “I will keep an eye on her”, Steve reassures Owen, “That’s what I’m afraid off”, Owen replies walking away from the quinjet.
Once the quinjet is up in the air, you settle behind your desk. Looking over to Steve, who’s in the cockpit programming your destination. Ignoring your inner turmoil, you try to focus on your research on the guest list. Looking over names and searching the network for information about them. With every minute you get more aware of the fact that you two are alone. Trying not to let it affect you, but you can’t ignore the feelings stirring inside you. You’ve been apart for 2 years, tried to live your own lives, both of you are visible effected by those two years.
You trying to let the intern scars fade, him chastising himself for hurting you, not trusting you. Wondering if you were childish for hanging on to the pain, your eyes fall upon a name. “Steve, I got something”, watching the tall Avenger come closer, makes your heart beat fast, you were so fucking doomed.
“What is it y/n?”, he says, resting one of his hands on the desk, while the other leans on the back of your seat, making him hover above you. His face dangerously close, startling you when he speaks again, his breath tickling your ear. Snapping out of your trance, you try to compose and find the words in your head. “uuh,..look this name..I’ve seen that name before..”, you point at the screen, when Steve reads the name, his eyes widen. “It can’t be…”, he murmurs, “She’s dead, I’ve buried her”, he whispers to himself. Without hesitation, you lay a hand on his hand for comfort and search his face for an answer. “Steve, I’m right, aren’t I. Ruth Barton, it’s one of Peggy’s old aliases, right?”, watching his reaction, realization in his face turning into a frown, when he figures out it’s Sharon using Peggy’s alias. “She’s there, that’s Sharon”, he points towards the name on the screen, then looking at you.
You’re aware of the closeness of his face, his body, letting out a shacking breath. Glazing at his soft lips, before locking eyes with him, the silence is killing, just as the look Steve’s giving you. He inched closer, slowly closing the distance between you. Molding his soft lips against yours, letting a shaky breath escape his lips, when he breaks away from you. Searching your eyes for any sign, “Steve”, you try warning him, but fail miserably. Crashing his lips into yours with a searing and passionate kiss. When you open your mouth to say something, he feels bold and slips his tongue past your lips, moaning when he feels you melting into him.
Laying one hand in the nap of his neck, while the other fist his dirty blond hair. Desperation and longing in your kiss, wanting nothing more than to feel every inch of each other. Cupping the cheek of your ass, he peppers your neck with kisses. Making his beard tickle your sensitive skin, earning a giggle from you. “I’ve missed you”, he whispers before he captures your lips in another searing kiss. Your mind’s getting foggy from the lack of air or was it the sensation of Steve against you, you pull away.
Breathing heavy, you look silently at each other. Registering the messy hear, bruised lips and dilated eyes of Steve, you can imagine that’s the way you look to. When he hugs you tight, you feel his excitement against your leg, makes you snap out of that warm fuzzy feeling. It felt like the mission with Clint all over again, your mind starting to panic at the memories. Steve feels you stiffen up in his arms and looks at you, realizing what you’re thinking, he loosens his grip on you. “Y/N, I’m..”, he starts, seeing you looking angry at him, “Steve, DON’t..”, walking out of his grasp. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry again or I’ll snap your neck”, you warn him, seeing the hurt on his face, you ask yourself if you’ve went too far. “Look, it happened okay, that’s that. I’m going to go get some sleep, so I can take the nightshift”, you say before laying on the bed with your back towards the room. Its quit in the room for a little while, hearing your breath slow down, he steps towards you, covering you with a blanket.
“I’m not sorry, I’m just glad it happened. If only you could except that my feelings are still real for you”, he whispers to your back, believing you’re already a sleep, he steps into the cockpit watching the sky, letting his mind wander. At the same time the words Steve spoke, keep repeating in your head. Touching your lips, you scold yourself. You shouldn’t let the things in the past effect you.
You don’t know for how long Steve has let you sleep, but when you wake up the skies is dark. “You’re awake”, Steve’s voice is hoarse, he tries to stifle a yawn. Looking the tall Avenger over, you notice his tired eyes and ruffles hair. Did he try to sleep in the chair? Why didn’t he wake you up? Getting out of the bed, “For how long did I sleep?”, stretching your body. “Almost 4 hours, it’s 1 in the morning. We will arrive at 5 in Ait Rbaa, their awaiting us there”, Steve answers while rubbing his eyes, yawning again. “Come on soldier, you need some sleep”, patting the bed, “I will take the next shift, get some sleep. I will wake you when we land”, you smile, motioning Steve to come out of the chair. “Okay, okay, I get it. The old man needs to sleep”, he yawns again, laughing about it. Laying himself on the bed, your scent hits his nostrils instantly. It’s almost as if your lying next to him, within seconds he’s asleep.
For the time being you occupy yourself with reading more files, navigating to Ait Rbaa and listening to your own music. When Steve begins to turn in his sleep, you mute the music and hope he will continue sleeping. For a minute it seems to work, but he soon starts to toss and turn, murmuring in his sleep. When his murmuring turn in to shouts, you go to him trying to calm him. “Steve, sss, it’s okay, you’re here, it’s okay”, you caress his hair, hoping it will help. “sss, Steve, stop, it’s okay”, you look at him, the panic in his voice is visible on his face. How could you help him, get him out of his dream. You try to shake him awake, “Steve, wake up, your dreamING!”, you shout hoping to wake him. “Y/N, NO DON’T”, Steve yells, sitting up, searching for something, for you. Noticing you in front of him, he grabs hold of you, hugging you tight, “You’re here, you’re okay”, he whispers hoarse, his eyes still closed, “You’re here”.
“Steve, I’m here, you’re okay”, you whisper, hugging him back, tightening your grip. Steve cups your cheeks with his hands, resting his forehead on yours, “I dreamed about us, you and I. It was nighttime and we stood on a cliff, one moment you were there, the other gone. I searched for you, I couldn’t find you. It was so dark, so so dark”, he breaths heavy, his eyelids still heavy from sleep. “Steve you need to sleep, I’m here, not going anywhere”, you reassure him, guiding him to lie down.
“I know, I’m not entitled to ask, but..please stay with me”, Steve asks, barely able to look you in the eye, “at least until I’m asleep”, he adds his across his cheeks a pink flush. Eyeing Steve for a moment, trying to figure out if he was messing with you, you decide to shut up your inner voice and give in to your heart. “Scoop over, Rogers, I need some space”, you tease him.
Laying with your back against his chest, he wraps his arms around you. His soft thank you, soon followed by an even breath and light snoring. You smile to yourself, a warm feeling spreading within you. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, wake up, Could you wake us when we arrive in Ait Rbaa or when somethings is happening?”, you ask the AI. “I will, Agent y/l/n”, F.R.I.D.A.Y answers, “Thank you, for that time being please go on autopilot”, you command closing your eyes and try to sleep some more. Subconsciously you curl into him and twist your leg with his own. Letting sleep take you over once more.
“Captain Rogers, Agent y/l/n, we arrive at Ait Rbaa in 20 minutes”, the AI announces waking the both of you. “Thanks”, you reply, rubbing your eyes, trying to stand up. “Just one more minute”, Steve’s sleepy voice asks, “Just one moment staying this way, before we, have to be us again”, he says clearing his throat. “Did you sleep well?”, you ask staring into the distance. “I had a dreamless sleep, thanks to you”, Steve answers, taking your hand, entwining his fingers with yours. “Glad to hear that”, you smile, turning slightly so you can look at him, ignoring the feeling in the pit of your stomach. “I’m going to freshen up”, moving so you can sit up with your back towards Steve, stretching your sore muscles.
Feeling courage taking over him, Steve’s sits behind you, one of his legs on each side of you. Laying a hand on your stomach, while his other keeps entwined with your hand. You feel your heartbeat rising, not knowing if you should give into were you were heading. You lean into his chest, trying to steady your breath. Feeling what this intimate gesture does to you, makes him bolt in his move. Tucking away the lose strains of hair, he kisses the nap of your neck. Feeling you taking in a sharp breath, makes him smile against your exposed flesh. Kissing his way up, towards your cheek, stopping at the corner of your mouth. Feeling him breathing irregular, he brushes his lips against yours, not being able to take the longing you close the distance between the two of you.
Capturing his lips in a kiss, soft, gentle and slow. Moving in sync, slowly, cautiously. Your body overtaken by eccentric panic and rising lust. His hand moving to you jaw, making you turn more towards him, deepening the kiss. Slightly opening your mouth, so he could explore it. Tasting his sweet and earthy taste in your mouth, enjoying every moment of it. His hand traveling from your stomach to your breast, cupping it gentle. His thumb grazing over your nipple, makes you lean in to him. Pressing your ass to his groin. Awakening the lust in both of you. Feeling yourself tremble under his touché, knowing with that you’re in too deep. Too deep, to let this go by and not talk about this if you would continue this. It would make it complicated, before this mission even started. Laying your hand on top of his, stopping him from going any further. You are angry with yourself, knowing what you’re going to do, could set you back in the relationship you’re building. Trying to control the fogginess in your mind, swallowing to ease your dry troath.
Speaking his name, would ruin the moment, but you had to. “Steve..”, your voice barely above a whisper, “We need to….we need to stop”, you say swallowing hard. Snapping both of you out of the trance you’re in. Laying against his chest, you don’t dare to look at him, not wanting to see the emotions on his face. “We need to focus on the mission”, your chest still rising irregular. “I know..”, he sighs, hugging you once more, before removing himself from the position. Giving you a kiss on your forehead, “We need to talk about this, we can’t….”, Steve starts swallowing the rest of his words. His pupils are still dilated, as were yours if you had to guess. Looking eyes for a moment, you nod at the unspoken words. Walking towards the cockpit, trying to clear his mind before landing.
Staring into the distance for a moment, you try to clear your own mind. With this pace things were getting more complicated by the minute. If only you could focus on the mission and not on the longing for his hands to roam over every part of your body. Clearing your throat, hoping to gain your composure with it, failing miserable with it, you ask the AI to scan the area.
After the AI signals the area clear, the quinjet is cleared for landing, using its reflectors for stealth. Once the quinjet is on the ground, you take your bag and head outside. Checking the stealth-modus from the quinjet one last time, you start your 20 minute walk. The walk is quiet, Steve and you exchange looks several times, but no one of you speak about the things happened in the quinjet. Breaking silence when you spot the house in the distance.
Checking your environment, before knocking on the door. Waiting for someone to open the door, you feel relieved when a manly figure is opening the door.
“Hunter, good to see you. Sorry to interrupt your life’s as retired spies”, you smile at the English man, hugging him.
“Good to see you to, smalls”, he smiles back, letting you enter the house. “Bobbi’s in the back?” looking around for the tall blond, not getting a reply from the English man.
“Hunter, I asked…really Hunter!? He’s just another person, come on Hunter, don’t go all Coulson on me!”, you exclaim seeing Hunter stare at Steve, making him feel awkward and somewhat shy. “oh, sosorry Captain, please do come in”, Hunter stammers. “Thank you, and it’s Steve, please call me Steve”, he replies before entering the house.