phrenic-a

gotta say i love murph's specific tone and cadence for yelling "I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING WEIRD" which is in the same voice he said "YOU GUYS ARE GONNA SAY SOMETHING WEIRD ON PURPOSE AND THE VULTURES GONNA KILL US"

Sandra Lynn did NOT fuck someone named Bobby. I refuse to believe it. Oh my fucking god.

The devil works hard, but Dimension 20 fans work harder. Damn y'all

the intrepid heroes reached new levels of Accurate Teenage Friendship tonight

Shawn and Gus are drift compatible but under no circumstances should they ever be allowed to pilot a jaeger

Shawn: Shawn Spencer, Psychic Ranger, and this is my copilot, Jaeger McFlavour.

Jaeger McFlavour: The british spelling.

“Shawn, you can’t bring the pineapple into the Jaeger.”

“Gus, are you jealous of the pineapple?”

“No. I hate it when the sticky pulp gets everywhere after you forget about it and it gets exploded.”

"This is a company robot, Shawn!"

They optimized the hell out of that fight. Well done intrepid heroes!

This is FANTASTIC!!!!!

this site has one setting

I’m laughing, but there’s a super useful corollary, which my husband calls “the Red Balloon.” He was a defense lawyer and had a fair number of drug addicts come through, and there is a thing where if you’re like, on your first offense, they’ll do a thing where you can go to treatment and if you complete it they’ll take the conviction off your record.  And he would tell his clients, “Look, everyone’s going to tell you not to do drugs. They’re going to say it over and over again. And it’s like, if people tell you not to think of a white elephant, you’re going to think of a white elephant. But the trick to not thinking about a white elephant is to think of a red balloon. So you need to find your red balloon. For some people it’s yoga. For others it’s woodworking. For some people it’s scrapbooking or gardening or any of a long list of things to do. They focus on that, it’s a lot easier to succeed in ignoring the white elephant.” So yeah, “watch yourself” is one thing… but the better idea is to watch something else. (Even if it’s fanfic about werewolves fucking.)

It’s a form of productive dissociation, and is super, super helpful. It’s easy for me to get bogged down in how much pain I’m in… but some of the most painful periods of my life have also been the most productive, writing-wise, because writing is one of my red balloons. 

There is a phrase I use A LOT in my parenting and my son gets very sick of it, but it’s true:

The thing you practise is the thing you get good at.

You may not intentionally be practicing “being grumpy” but if you don’t put effort into practicing “not being grumpy” then I’m afraid that’s what you’re doing. It’s hard! It’s really hard! Sometimes, for some things, it’s pretty much impossible and that sucks!

But being carefully aware that you are going to get good at the things you do most of is a good way to be more careful of what those things are. If that makes sense.

You gotta appreciate sometimes how tumblr works in such a way that everyone who wants to reblog this interesting or useful psychological advice is also forced to reblog the thing about werewolf fucking

We don’t bully Sauron enough for being such a FUCKING instagram villain that he’d only ever steal black horses from the Rohirrim, like he really in canon passed over herds of perfectly good load-bearing horses just for aesthetic fidelity

Oh wait fuck hang on a second

yeah

best addition to this post since I wrote it nearly five years ago

'The Slow Regard of Silent Things'

- by Patrick Rothfuss

Sleeping Beauty AU where the princess was born on a Leap Day, so when the evil fairy curses her to prick her finger “on her 16th birthday”, her family realizes that’s not the same thing as her 16th year of life and she’ll actually be in her 60′s when it happens.

By the time the Royal Counsellor has finished speaking the King looks slightly less like he might faint and the Queen actually looks a little hopeful.

“Are you certain?” she pressed.

“Absolutely,” the Counsellor assured her. “I had one of my clerks take notes during all the fairy’s speeches for the exact purpose of studying their phrasing.”

“What,” the King blinked. “Even the good ones?”

The counsellor sniffed. “Especially the good ones.”

“So…so we can truly argue that it is the birthday that counts and not the passing of the years?” asked the Queen, colour returning to her cheeks.

“Indeed!” the Counsellor said with a smile. “So if my math is correct your daughter will be sixty-four when the curse enters into effect.”

“That is hardly what I would call a long and prosperous life!” the King protested.

“Ah, but it does give her Royal Highness the Princess a lot more time to find this contractually necessary one true love,” his Counsellor explained. “Quite a reasonable amount of time I would say, if she happens to be of a romantic and monogamous persuasion, of course.”

The royal couple looked equal parts relieved and bewildered.

“But there’s no need to worry about that just yet,” the Counsellor said comfortingly. “And besides. Times are moving on. That is the entire reason we have the High Court of Magical Justice. Why, just last month a transformed prince was kissed back to human by his platonic life partner after successful litigation against the original layer of the curse! It is riveting caselaw.”

“…this is a good thing, yes?” the King ventured.

“Very good,” the Counsellor nodded.

“Well then!” Her Majesty the Queen beamed. “In that case, I say we continue the celebrations!”

“Quite right, Your Majesty, quite right,” the Counsellor said with a bow. “If you need me, I shall be in my study.”

It is a tenet of contract law that the meanings of contractual language are construed against its drafters. I think it makes perfect sense to interpret the language of curses against their casters as well.

Better curse breaking through semantic specificity.

this is what a Bodhisattva is

Oh, literally!

The fact that Loid Forger doesn’t have a PTA mom enemy for him to have a passive aggressive cook off with is cruelty to me specially.

I would *love* this. I would love to see our clueless master spy deal with a PTA mom. What a fucking delight that would be.

He would build a profile on her more detailed than 2/3 of the people of interest in operation strix.

the thing about mcu movies is that there is an identifiable length of time in which they were good, which makes the fact that they stopped being good even worse than it would be if none of them were ever good

the golden era was iron man 3 to black panther. before that they were still finding their footing and everything after that has been dogshit. something was in the water for five years and then they fixed the pipes

wenis comp

using both fahrenheit and celsius to determine temperature is wild because you’ll be thinking in one measurement unit and someone will say some alarming number and then you calm down when you realize they meant they’re baking their recipe at 350° fahrenheit

however, nothing can stop the sheer terror of when it’s -40° outside because the other measurement system is no reassurance

Too Fucking Cold degrees out

“It’s-40° outside”

“Fahrenheit or Celsius?”

“Kelvin”

“What”

#discussions after the heat death of the universe

#LOVE the implication that we’ll still be around and still on tumblr after the heat death of the universe (tag by meatcrimes)

#well it's not like we'd be on twitter!

String identified: g t at a c t t tat ca ’ tg at t a a aag a t ca a t at t’ ag t c at ° at , tg ca t t t t’ -° t ca t t at t aac T cg C g t “t’-° t” “at C?” “” “at” c at t at at t t cat tat ’ t a a t t at t at at t (tag atc) t' t ' ttt!

Closest match: Plagodis dolabraria genome assembly, chromosome: 12 Common name: Scorched wing

(image source)

“Jurassic park” except it’s realistic and they can’t clone anything older than 1 million years because dna degradation so it’s a bunch of recently extinct birds brought back to life and yet the same amount of chaos carnage and destruction occurs as well as the same amount of wonder because Irony

Remember this park would have, among other things:

- moas

- elephant birds

- dodos & Rodrigues solitaire

- terror birds

- mihirungs

- adzebills

- Sylviornithidae

- great auk

- mobs of passenger pigeons

- moa-nalo

- mole ducks (reverse platypus)

- giant swan

- giant marabou-style storks

- club-winged ibises

- teratorns

- giant Caribbean hawks

- stilt owls, including giant ones

- and so many many passerines

how does one even go about explaining this to anyone??!?