☆UHYHUVH ! !☆

      “I’ll STOP pushing my luck when you START calling me ‘Paz’!” 

     Tone in shocking contrast to the others, she smiled. If his voice was the SEA; alluring, deep, and dark, her own tone was one that could reflect a puddle found during a SUN-SHOWER; shallow, bright, and more than just SLIGHTLY COMMON. But even puddles and the ocean had things that could be considered similar, so she was CERTAIN her and Dipper could find even ground somewhere along the road to whatever resolution their situation would face, able to look each other in the eye and at least be comfortable enough to co-exist without stolen kisses ands thinly veiled threats. 

      Pacifica had MANNERS, and though she was well aware it was quite RUDE of her to kiss his cheek without permission, she couldn’t help but be tempted when the reaction was so pleasing. A quick misstep resulting in a quick flash of genuine emotion from the man she so desperately wanted to know seemed like more than reason enough to take the blow to her reputation. 

Following once he motioned for her, she caught up to his stride, bright sneakers walking alongside dress shoes as she smiled, eyes turning towards him. 

       “... Can I help? I don’t really have much to do tonight until Gideon’s done with his work.”

     “What’ll it be, bucko? Do you want your drink SHAKEN or STIRRED?”

     It didn’t matter that she was offering him HOT-CHOCOLATE, and traditionally, that particular beverage should neither be shaken or stirred. He had SHAKEN her to her very core when he had abandoned her, and he had STIRRED her up last night in the bathroom. She had led him to the kitchen of the Southeast manor, only to move about freely, spinning and dancing from cabinet to cabinet, allowing him to speak what was on his mind, her movements fluid as if she could wash away whatever emotional impact he had on her. She felt as if the moment she sat still, looked into his eyes and listened, it would be over. 

     So she kept moving, busying herself with making them both something to drink. Hopefully something that would wash down the lump in her throat.

     His words brought her to a pause, fingers trembling over the stove briefly, only to reach and turn off the flame, drink abandoned, just as her attempts to manage to pretend she was unaffected. 

     “... I’m ALWAYS yours.” She murmured softly, movement coming to a pause, skirt falling flat against leggings as she peered over her shoulder to look at him. She had said it before, and she would say it as many times as he needed to hear it: SHE WAS HIS. HIS, HIS, HIS. She couldn’t help herself when it came to him. She never had been able to. She would love him until it KILLED her, and that was something she had accepted long ago. 

     “... I just...” Gaze shifting to the ceiling, as if she could find answers there. “... And... I KNOW this must be hard for you. I’m not trying to belittle that one tinsie tiny bit... It’s just...” She took a shaking breath, small smile curling on her lips. 

     HOW LUCKY SHE WAS TO FEEL SO STRONGLY FOR HIM TO BE IN SUCH PAIN OVER SOMETHING SO SMALL.

     “... I’m pretty bad at being apart from you.” She laughed a little at herself-- Because this was LAUGHABLE, really. “I thought you had broken me when you stopped talking to me, but each day we’re apart I feel a little less of a whole piece... And... I gave you my everything already... So I’m worried I have nothing more to give.”

     ... Oh.

     I’m... I’m sorry, Mari. I’ll tell her I can’t.

     It was silly of me anyway, right? I mean, I was probably reading into it anyways, and the fact is someone like her could have ANYONE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, so it would be CRUEL to get closer to her being just me. I would just tie her down. Besides, I don’t even know if I’m gay or anything... And like, I’m in love with you. So it would-- It would just be--

CLOSE. HE WAS TOO CLOSE.

     She could feel his breath against her lips, the warmth from his body sending shivers throughout her body as her knees went weak in response to the steady stroking of her hair. It wasn’t fair-- He knew everything to say, everything to do to make her want nothing more than him. To make her MISS him. 

     His suggestion didn’t fall on deaf ears, and she found herself thinking about exactly what that could mean. Going back to their evenings? Go back to her date? And do what? Pretend that she hadn’t just had this conversation? Pretend he hadn’t asked her to do something as unreasonable as give him another chance? Again, he was ASKING TOO MUCH FROM HER. 

     “... No.” She said, pulling away from him, a soft smile playing across her lips as she looked at him. “... YOU can come see ME tomorrow.” She corrected. “It doesn’t mean we’re BACK TOGETHER. In fact, it doesn’t mean ANYTHING... But you can see me, if you’d like. And you can try to talk me into being with you again.” She stepped forward, pressing her fingers against his chest, grinning up at him. “... Give it some time before you come over tomorrow, though. I have a good feeling about my date tonight, and I’m hoping to MAKE IT LAST at least long enough to make it worth his while... So maybe give it until around noon?” She pulled away, humming and smiling cheerfully. 

“Thanks! See you then!”

     This wasn’t an ideal way to spend her time.

     No matter what she did, time always seemed to slip through her fingers, the very ones Mason was holding so tenderly. Opportunities seemed to disappear out of reach, and moments she wanted to cherish always moved by too quickly, escaping her embrace and moving into her memories. She had been COMPLETELY ready to put Mason among those memories, to place him carefully on a shelf she could see, but no longer reach. One she would always be able to look at, but nothing she could ever dare try and obtain again. 

     But he had different plans.

     For a moment, she had thought that perhaps he was going to do the same. He had let go of her hand, and in the very same second she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Right. It was the RIGHT thing to do, of this she was absolutely certain--

     But then he took her other hand, and everything went UPSIDE DOWN.

     Mason had a TERRIBLE talent for causing all the blood to rush to her face as if she were, in fact, physically turned upside down. She could feel her face heating up and her ears were burning, vision blurring as her hand tightened around his like he was a life line. Like he was the only way to become RIGHT-SIDE-UP again. 

     “... ‘No’...?” 

     She repeated the word as if it was unfamiliar, eyes suspicious as she looked at him, biting her lip. 

“What do you suggest, then?”

Well-- It’s-- It’s actually a girl. 

But!

     Her name is Miriam! Isn’t that just the CUTEST?? And she has the most CHARMING southern accent that just makes my knees weak, and she plays with my hair, and she’s really bold, but I think it means she likes me back!!

It was ALMOST like holding hands, and it was ALMOST enough to make her heart race.

     If she were being completely truthful with herself, she hadn’t fully expected Dipper to help her. They spent their time at each other’s throats, one for the sake of gaining the journal and one for the sake of protecting a friend. No matter how the situation was cut, no matter how tiny one made it seem as they broke it down, it would always look THE EXACT SAME. A portrait of aggression, rivalry, and competition. 

     Outside of the JOURNAL ISSUE, Dipper was far from emotionally available enough to express empathy on a level that would encourage him to help others, so she was pleasantly surprised when he began to try and get the plastic off her wrist. 

     Taking a deep breath as he used his magic, body tensing, she tried to keep herself as separated from it as possible: black magic’s presence was SO STRONG it felt like it would fill her ears and drown out any other noise. 

     But in the end, she still heard his voice, and she was still able to smile. 

     “Tha--” She began, only to lean in and steal a kiss from his cheek before jumping away. 

“Sorry! You left yourself open!” She grinned. 

Really?? Oh!! That’s wonderful news!

       Because I actually kind of might have a bit of a crush, and of course I want to take things slow, but its always nice to know I won’t disappoint.

     ... Once when we were pre-adolescents and you lost a tooth and I swallowed it whole in front of you and the crossing guard to try and summon the Tooth Fairy, and once during that one time we made love.