I'm a first class let down

Howl’s Moving Castle ハウルの動く城 2004 | dir. Hayao Miyazaki

Stop drawing dionysus skinny challenge

Bitch is the god of feasts, he's got chub, he's got meat. Aphrodite is the god of romance and love but dionysus is the god of sex and orgies, he is ideal cuddling density, dude HAS a tummy.

Dude has broad shoulders and beefy arms for holding and protecting you and just the fattest most luscious ass and thighs you've ever seen

All I’m imagining is that one bro at the gym who’s extra thick and has a big waste and could be a couch in and of himself but like would totally be able to lift a whole damn cow if you asked.

We all know dionysus looks like this.

jack black either bares a close resemblance to Dionysus or he straight up is Dionysus  

omg im gomen this stopped being funny after i had more than two hours of sleep but it’s been on my hard drive since i saw iron man 3 so i quickly finished and posted it

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING

Oh my god the Thor cut out is my favorite I WANT ONE.

I like how the Thor cut out is him shirtless with his cape.

i rlly dont want the theater industry to die. seeing a movie is like?? a hard emotional reset when i need it most. get away from my family + my house and sit in big dark room for 2 hours eating overpriced food???? that is the closest i will get to heaven before i die. i love movie theaters so much. please God let them live

Johnny Mnemonic (1995) dir. Robert Longo

you only get one day to reblog this

My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Canon Jesus is so much better than the fanon.

@apocrypals

I’ve said it once I’ll say it again

Jesus was a mad lad

chapter 6-4

back home!

If anyone asks how the evil came to power in Germany in the 1920s and 1930s, the answer will be found in the USA of today.

Can I offer you a terrible joke in this trying time?

"ur so funny" thanks i cant wait to cry tonight

I just realised that the rest of the world doesn’t know about one of my favourite New Year’s Eve in Germany things:

Angela Merkel getting out her shiny blazers for her speech.

They’re only for New Year’s Eve. The shiny Merkel is very rare and can only be spotted on the 31st of December.

This year we got shiny with some sort of rococo pattern.

Silvery Merkel of 2018.

Shiny Merkel of 2019! I really enjoy the color this year.

An adventurous duochrome!

shinier than ever for 2020

As Long As We Both Shall Live: 66

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I just noticed that Jarvis has his own stocking. Tony Stark hangs up a stocking for Jarvis at Christmas. And there are at least two extra stockings up there so Tony totally gives his bots stockings too.

I think the important part is that the stocking for Jarvis is completely different from the others. It’s loud and silly looking and the name is written in what looks to be a child’s handwriting.

That’s the stocking Tony made Jarvis, the real human Jarvis, when he was young.

I went from “AWWWWW” to “fuck the fuck off” in 0.006 seconds

rivals (romantically)

The Prom (2020), dir. Ryan Murphy

Sebastian Stan’s Quarantine Playlist

source: instagram.com/p/CIg9N43p_lT/