do you ever just
Life Won't Go On / Phan
Summary: Phil finds a scrapbook of a bunch of early Dan and Phil memories, he ends up finding Dan’s suicide note.
Warnings: Mentions of suicide,
Word Count: Abt 1.4k
Genre : Angst
Tags: Phan, Angst,
A/N: This is the first Phan Angst prompt I wrote, so feedback would be extremely helpful.
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Phil was cleaning out his flat, and with the last closet that he looked in, there was a box labeled, “ Dan and Phil :D ”. Phil looked over at the baby blue book, with white striped guarding a photo of him and Dan on the front. He smiles delightfully, taking the book in his hands and admiring how Dan looked in the photo. He was smiling, his dimples deeper than ever, his chocolate brown eyes glowing golden brown, his pupils dilated extremely, as he was of course looking at his best friend. His skin was also glowing, being not as tan as he used to be. He almost sunk down to Phil’s kind of pale. No body could be as pale as Phil, though. His skin was basically white. Dan’s freckles were easy to make out in this photo, as they weren’t ever visible in any other photo. Phil loved that, that any photo of Dan never actually captured the most perfect parts of his face., but Phil could see it all. He saw the freckles, he saw the golden brown, he saw the red in his cheeks. Phil was the only one. Opening the book, the first page was a long letter to Phil from Dan, the first letter Phil ever received before they met. This was before their first Skype call even. Dan wanted to write Phil a letter about how “Phil saved his life.” Phil never got rid of it, he never lost it, he never even kept it in a drawer. He kept it taped to his body mirror until he got the scrapbook. It was the first thing in there, and it never came back out.
Dear Phil Lester, Hi. My name is Dan Howell, and you changed my life. Your videos make me feel so amazing, and warm inside, and I can’t believe we’re actually talking now. I’m a gigantic fan, and I love everything about you. That sounds weird.. Sorry.. That was really weird. Okay, well I’m writing this to you because I can’t get Skype right now, so we can’t video chat. We currently talk over kik, but that’s just for now hopefully. My computer should be fixed soon so that I can Skype you everyday. Also, you told me to start my own youtube channel, but I don’t know how to do all of that, jump cutting and effects and stuff, so you’re gonna have to teach me. I just need some tips, so when we can actually talk, you can explain to me how to do that! :D Anyway, we’ve been talking for a few months now, and I just wanna let you know, that you’re so great, and I’ve never had a best friend until now, and talking to you actually makes me feel sort of okay for once. You’re such a great friend and everything I’ve been through is all forgotten or lost in my mind when I talk to you. You make me feel better all the time, like you’re some sort of magic mental health healer guy. Yeah. anyway, I saw that guy today, the guy you told me to stay away from, because he called me a faggot for wearing a “girl shirt”, yeah he was at the market today. That’s about it, he didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything, but my anxiety went away, because I just thought of what you said. “Wearing a girl’s shirt is just wearing a boy’s shirt, the difference is none.” So, thank you, Phil, for being there for me, even when you're hundreds of kilometers away. Love, Daniel Howell
Phil read through the letter swiftly, laughing at how awkward Dan was at the time. His Dan, the Dan that would wake him up at three in the morning because he saw Kanye West on TV, the Dan that would fake moan when he ate something, the Dan that would give him a tight, bear hug every time he came back from holiday break with his parents. That Dan. It was so weird, remembering how awkward Dan was and thinking back to just a couple months ago, when he was crying over The Impossible Quiz. ( He insisted that Phil should edit that out though, for sake of Dan’s manly reputation.) He flipped the page, and then there was a train ticket. This was the day that Dan took the train to see Phil for the first time. Phil replayed the entire scene back in his head. He strolled down the trainway steps, excited to see his best friend for the first time ever. The first time.. ever. Phil couldn’t even remember how life was before he knew who Dan was. Dan had changed so much in his life, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. He walked through the tons of people wandering through the busy station. He was pretty tall, so it wouldn’t be hard to find Dan, as he was just a bit shorter. He looked to the oncoming train as the passengers were exiting. One stood out though, he had dark brown, long hair that was swept over into a fringe. Phil smiled and waved, and as the other boy looked up, he found himself doing the same. As soon as they were in each other’s arms, at least a train or two had passed before they let go, and the smaller boy introduced himself as Dan. It became Phil’s favorite word to hear, and it never changed. Another page was being swept to show the opposite side, and there were photos of Dan and Phil in their first flat in Manchester. There was one of Dan in the soon-to-be livingroom, one of Phil in the soon-to-be livingroom, there was one of Dan in his soon-to-be bedroom, obviously he was sitting in the corner, pretending to cry like he missed living with his parents, and he did. It was true, Phil knew that Dan got extremely homesick, which is why he always kept a round trip ticket in his top drawer in case Dan just couldn’t handle adult life. Speaking of that, there was one more photo of Dan lying face down of the floor of his bedroom. He made videos about it before. He was having an “existential crisis”, and Phil just happened to finish filming a video, and walked into Dan’s room, and snapped a photo. Phil flipped another page, this one having tickets to Avatar in 3D. Phil thought back to when he invited Dan. Dan lit up in joy and clapped, basically as fast as he could. Phil thought it was adorable. He remembered how he had such a big crush on him back then. The movie ended, and as soon as everyone started to clap, Phil brought Dan in for a kiss. He tugged on the sleeve of Dan’s cardigan to get him close, and kissed him in 3D glasses. When the lights turned back on, Phil let go and left Dan completely dazed until they got home. Phil decided to forget about what happened after they got home. All he really vividly remembers is that Dan had to spend a few dollars on foundation. Another page flipped, and there were a few more photos of their newest flat. One of Dan on the bench of the piano that had been there when they moved in. Dan was ecstatic when he saw it, and so was Phil. Phil loved the nights when Dan couldn’t sleep, because he would get up and sit at that same piano bench, and play the most beautiful sounds that Phil has ever heard. He would play for hours, sometimes waking Phil up with the more intense symphonies. Dan was mostly self-taught, and that’s another thing Phil loved about him. No matter what he told social media, or what he said in interviews or on camera, if Dan wanted to get something done, he would. The last page flipped, and so did Phil’s stomach. He remembered the reason that he was packing up in the first place, why his early anxiety came back, and why he developed depression. The note that was carefully clipped to this page. This note was stained salty with tears, and a few drips of blood. Phil found himself bursting out in tears. He started to read from the top. The writing was neat. As he got to the bottom, the writing was sloppier, and some smeared from tear stains.
Dear Phil. I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry that this note had to be written. I can’t take it anymore, I can’t do it. I can’t, I thought I could, but I was wrong, I was so so so wrong, Phil. This note is gonna be the last you hear of me, ever. I’m sorry Phil, this is the best for everyone. I really didn’t mean to do this to you, I’m sorry I’m so selfish, I’m sorry that we didn’t work out, I love you, so much, relationship wise or not, you’re the most important person to ever walk into my life. I’m sorry that I fucked up your life forever, I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry, I’m just. I’m sorry.
The words on paper broke Phil’s heart. He found himself bawling, his hands shaking profusely, clutching the paper as if it was a rope, and he was stuck in a 20 foot ditch. He screamed to the skies. Why? Why? Why did this happen? Why did he have to come home to a note, explaining how all he did was fuck up? Why did he think that? Maybe if Phil would have been there, maybe if he would have texted him that day, something would have changed. But it didn’t. Phil got up, running to Dan’s bedroom, just as he left it. The bedsheets a little messed up, his underwear drawer still open a bit, a pair of black boxers peeking out. Phil sobbed, still clutching to the note. Dan’s laptop was still open, the screen black, still dead from months ago, the charger sprawled on the floor below his desk. Phil walked over to Dan’s computer, his fingerprints still on the screen. Phil felt more tears cascade down his cheek as he looked to the ceiling fan, the rope still hanging from it. He fell to his knees, falling onto his side and sobbing in fertile position for hours on end. But then again, that was just another day for Phil. This was gonna be the rest of his life.
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ash does blog rates🌸
hey loves! so i am like 33 away from my next hundred already i’m shooketh.
And because I think they are so fun and I want to find so many more of you to follow, imma do some blog rates! blacklist as ash does blogrates if you don’t want this on your dash!
le rules:
- mbf meeee 🌸
- reblog this to spread the word !!
- send me an ask of your favorite animal and why!
- if you could, please check out the one shot I wrote the other day & my cover of All I Ask by Adele :’)
le format:
icon: eh it’s alright // selfie // whoa i’m shook // this is so lovely omg // stealing it you can’t have it back dkfjlkfj
url: it’s nice! // whoa this is good // i love it omg so creative // how did you get this i’m so jealous!!
mobile theme: default // ohh it’s cute! // super lovely theme holy moly // so aesthetic I’M FLOORED
desktop theme: default // ohh i lovee // i love the theme and its so organized! // aesthetic af and beautiful queen // GIVE ME THE CODE ASAP
content: not really my thing, sorry! // omg so great // omg so. much. phan. // brb liking and reblogging everythingg omgg
following? no, but keep doing you! // ah yes! // how could i NOT?! // following & stalking your blog til the end of time!!
additional comments:
if this gets less than 15 reblogs i’m deleting this
ok have fun!! :)
me? doing url edits? more likely than u think
if u want one:
• follow me!! • reblog this post • have a phan related url (i’ll be doing the ones i get inspiration from) • they’ll all be posted throughout march so there’s no time limit on when you have to reblog this by lmao
that’s it, enjoy✨✨
Words to describe someone's voice
Im 15 away from 300.
Lay your troubles down, let me hold you
Please 💕
Pleeeeease?
And we thought Phil was such a sweet guy…
uuooo.png
If anyone ever says Phil Lester isn’t sexy show them this post ;)
I SCREAMDD
Chubby Dan appreciation plz?
AHHH i luv Chubby Dan
INCLUDES : Crying, self hate, rimming, nipple play, etc.
i worked so hard on this and it sCUSKfgklfdh
also i might be more active??
_____________________________
“ Dan, come on, just try it on, you’re gonna look so cute in it!” Phil pried, holding up a grey crop top, which had a little alien on the left side of the chest.
“ No, it’s not my style.” Dan said, crossing his arms.
“ Dan. Dan……Dan. You’re all for tumblr aesthetic looking black, grey, white,” Phil said, naming every detail he could about Dan’s fashion sense.
“ What? No, I wear black and strictly black.. only black. I represent my emotions through my clothes, and i wear black… only black.” Dan said, averting his eyes from Phil’s gaze, knowing that if they locked eyes for the slightest amount of time, Phil would know something was up with him.
“ Fine, okay, I get it, you’re depressed and have an existential crisis every five minutes. “ Phil laughed, replacing the empty place on the rack with the shirt Dan hopelessly rejected. Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and exited the store confidently, striding towards the sidewalks. He looked both ways, crossed the street and started back home. home, sweet home. The place where no one could see Dan, the place where no one could judge Dan, the place where no one knew that Dan hated himself.
Phil sat on the couch, editing the video for The Impossible Quiz. Dan featured in it, obviously, seeing that it was the channel that they shared.You know, besides DanandPhilCRAFTS, There was a part in the video that phi was editing out, where he want to go fetch drinks for the two of them. He watched the video slowly, noticing that Dan was acting weird. He watched until Dan looked down, and lifted up his shirt. Phil smiled lovingly once he saw the bit of chub poking out. It was adorable, but Dan wouldn’t agree. He poked at it and frowned, making Phil frown as well. Dan didn’t like it?
Dan was in his room, wearing just his boxers. He stood in front of his body mirror, poking and squeezing all the chub that lie on his body. He frowned just as he did in the video, and laid down on his bed, a pillow muffling his cries, and taking in every last salty tear that attempted escape from his body.
Phil, still watching the video, skipped ahead to where he came back into the room. He payed close attention to Dan, who quickly plastered a smile onto his face and played as if nothing ever happened, his shirt falling back to where it belonged, his smile lighting up as he took the drink from his boyfriend and continued their game. Phil’s face fell in it’s entirety, and he set his laptop down beside him. He sat up on the sofa, and put his elbows on his knees, his hands carrying his face. Why didn’t Dan love himself?
Phil had to admit, he was a chubby chaser. he loved the bit of chub on thighs, and tummys. He loves to squish it, and kiss it, and just.. /love/ it. So why didn’t Dan love it?
Okay, so everyone had that bit of self depreciation where they just feel like a lump of shit, but Dan didn’t have to feel that way. He shouldn’t of ever had, or ever need to feel that way. He needed to fix this.
Phil quietly walked into Dan’s room, opening the door silently and taking big strides, as to not make any sound. His footsteps were also muffled by Dan’s sobs. Phil frowned at Dan, and straddled him. Dan quickly shocked awake, shoving the pillow off of his face, revealing the tear stained, puffy, red eyes. Phil was shocked.
“ Dan.. what’s wrong.?” Phil said, placing his hands on Dan’s stomach. Dan violently jerked Phil’s hands away, and shoved his face to the right.
“ Don’t touch me I’m fine.” Dan said, placing his own hands overlapping each other on his stomach,
“ No, you aren’t,” Phil said, taking a more dominant tone. He took hold of both of Dan’s wrists in a tight grip, pinning them on either side of his head.
“ Phil, let me go.” Dan said, making the weakest attempt to be let go, before just giving up entirely.
“ No. Tell me what’s wrong. don’t make me start.” Phil said, holding now both of Dan’s wrists above his head, and his other hand was being placed on Dan’s chest, trailing down.
“ Phil, really. I’m fine.” Dan said, struggling more and more as Phil’s hands directed south,
“ No, you aren’t. You did this to yourself.” Phil said, leaning his head towards Dans, looking him in the eyes, and trailing his hand to Dan’s nipple. Dan looked down and bit his lip, looking back up at Phil and shaking his head.
“ Phil, please , don’t. I’m really fine, I promissss–ah..” Dans words were twisted into a pile of jibberish as Phil twisted and tugged at his nipples.
“Tell. Me. What’s wrong.” Phil said, flicking the nub and rubbing the areas around, to work him up.
“ I’m fat.” Dan stated softly.
Phil stopped all movements, and hugged Dan, making sure that his mouth was right at Dan’s ear.
“ I don’t think so.” Phil growled, biting the lobe of Dan’s ear, making Dan moan lowly, clenching the sheets with his now free hands.
Phil kissed down Dan’s neck until he got to his chest, kissing and sucking hickeys into the delicate, creamy pale skin. Dan whined at every suction and bite, Phil taking in every delicious noise.
He kissed Dans stomach, “ I love this, because it’s nice and squishy, and it’s like a pillow when we cuddle.
He kissed Dan’s thighs. “ I love these,” he squeezed, “ because they’re so nice and pale and smooth, and I love to have them around my neck when I make you moan and squirm.” Phil smirked, sucking over the cloth of Dan’s bulge in his boxers. He licked over the sensitive head, making Dan moan and grip Phil by the hair.
Phil pulled down Dan’s boxers until they were off of his body, laughing when complications came through.
Phil pulled Dan’s thighs onto his shoulders, balancing Dan’s body on his upper back. He kissed Dan’s thighs, and Dan trembled, throwing his head back and whimpering, whining for more.
Phil gave in, licking a stripe from Dan’s asshole to his perineum. Dan moaned, bucking his hips.
“Calm down baby, now tell me. You’re pretty, aren’t you?” Phil said, slicking up Dan’s hole with his spit,
“ B-but, I’m “
“ You’re pretty?”
“ I’m.. not?”
Phil slid his tongue into Dan, sliding it around the skin outside and thrusting back in.
“ I’m pre- ah! I’m pretty!” Dan screamed, coming thick, white ropes over his grey sheets.
Phil licked the cum, sliding Dan’s boxers back onto his body, as Dan apologized for coming so fast.
“ It was cute.” Phil said, kissing Dan.
“ Now say, you’re pretty?”
______________________________________
IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO BAD IDK HOW TO END THINGS
.
.
.
.
.
TAGS: #danisnotonfire #amazingphil
#phan #danandphil #phanporn
#phansmut #danhowell #phillester
idk how else to add tags when you answer an anon, so lOL
How happy are you rn? :))
im pretty neutral :) ( SEND ME NOSY QUESTIONS ON ANON!!)
Secks nou mm
mm dan moans and phil sticks in te diq and he moand wile they did the secks
Chubby Dan appreciation plz?
AHHH i luv Chubby Dan
INCLUDES : Crying, self hate, rimming, nipple play, etc.
i worked so hard on this and it sCUSKfgklfdh
also i might be more active??
_____________________________
“ Dan, come on, just try it on, you’re gonna look so cute in it!” Phil pried, holding up a grey crop top, which had a little alien on the left side of the chest.
“ No, it’s not my style.” Dan said, crossing his arms.
“ Dan. Dan……Dan. You’re all for tumblr aesthetic looking black, grey, white,” Phil said, naming every detail he could about Dan’s fashion sense.
“ What? No, I wear black and strictly black.. only black. I represent my emotions through my clothes, and i wear black… only black.” Dan said, averting his eyes from Phil’s gaze, knowing that if they locked eyes for the slightest amount of time, Phil would know something was up with him.
“ Fine, okay, I get it, you’re depressed and have an existential crisis every five minutes. “ Phil laughed, replacing the empty place on the rack with the shirt Dan hopelessly rejected. Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and exited the store confidently, striding towards the sidewalks. He looked both ways, crossed the street and started back home. home, sweet home. The place where no one could see Dan, the place where no one could judge Dan, the place where no one knew that Dan hated himself.
Phil sat on the couch, editing the video for The Impossible Quiz. Dan featured in it, obviously, seeing that it was the channel that they shared.You know, besides DanandPhilCRAFTS, There was a part in the video that phi was editing out, where he want to go fetch drinks for the two of them. He watched the video slowly, noticing that Dan was acting weird. He watched until Dan looked down, and lifted up his shirt. Phil smiled lovingly once he saw the bit of chub poking out. It was adorable, but Dan wouldn’t agree. He poked at it and frowned, making Phil frown as well. Dan didn’t like it?
Dan was in his room, wearing just his boxers. He stood in front of his body mirror, poking and squeezing all the chub that lie on his body. He frowned just as he did in the video, and laid down on his bed, a pillow muffling his cries, and taking in every last salty tear that attempted escape from his body.
Phil, still watching the video, skipped ahead to where he came back into the room. He payed close attention to Dan, who quickly plastered a smile onto his face and played as if nothing ever happened, his shirt falling back to where it belonged, his smile lighting up as he took the drink from his boyfriend and continued their game. Phil’s face fell in it’s entirety, and he set his laptop down beside him. He sat up on the sofa, and put his elbows on his knees, his hands carrying his face. Why didn’t Dan love himself?
Phil had to admit, he was a chubby chaser. he loved the bit of chub on thighs, and tummys. He loves to squish it, and kiss it, and just.. /love/ it. So why didn’t Dan love it?
Okay, so everyone had that bit of self depreciation where they just feel like a lump of shit, but Dan didn’t have to feel that way. He shouldn’t of ever had, or ever need to feel that way. He needed to fix this.
Phil quietly walked into Dan’s room, opening the door silently and taking big strides, as to not make any sound. His footsteps were also muffled by Dan’s sobs. Phil frowned at Dan, and straddled him. Dan quickly shocked awake, shoving the pillow off of his face, revealing the tear stained, puffy, red eyes. Phil was shocked.
“ Dan.. what’s wrong.?” Phil said, placing his hands on Dan’s stomach. Dan violently jerked Phil’s hands away, and shoved his face to the right.
“ Don’t touch me I’m fine.” Dan said, placing his own hands overlapping each other on his stomach,
“ No, you aren’t,” Phil said, taking a more dominant tone. He took hold of both of Dan’s wrists in a tight grip, pinning them on either side of his head.
“ Phil, let me go.” Dan said, making the weakest attempt to be let go, before just giving up entirely.
“ No. Tell me what’s wrong. don’t make me start.” Phil said, holding now both of Dan’s wrists above his head, and his other hand was being placed on Dan’s chest, trailing down.
“ Phil, really. I’m fine.” Dan said, struggling more and more as Phil’s hands directed south,
“ No, you aren’t. You did this to yourself.” Phil said, leaning his head towards Dans, looking him in the eyes, and trailing his hand to Dan’s nipple. Dan looked down and bit his lip, looking back up at Phil and shaking his head.
“ Phil, please , don’t. I’m really fine, I promissss–ah..” Dans words were twisted into a pile of jibberish as Phil twisted and tugged at his nipples.
“Tell. Me. What’s wrong.” Phil said, flicking the nub and rubbing the areas around, to work him up.
“ I’m fat.” Dan stated softly.
Phil stopped all movements, and hugged Dan, making sure that his mouth was right at Dan’s ear.
“ I don’t think so.” Phil growled, biting the lobe of Dan’s ear, making Dan moan lowly, clenching the sheets with his now free hands.
Phil kissed down Dan’s neck until he got to his chest, kissing and sucking hickeys into the delicate, creamy pale skin. Dan whined at every suction and bite, Phil taking in every delicious noise.
He kissed Dans stomach, “ I love this, because it’s nice and squishy, and it’s like a pillow when we cuddle.
He kissed Dan’s thighs. “ I love these,” he squeezed, “ because they’re so nice and pale and smooth, and I love to have them around my neck when I make you moan and squirm.” Phil smirked, sucking over the cloth of Dan’s bulge in his boxers. He licked over the sensitive head, making Dan moan and grip Phil by the hair.
Phil pulled down Dan’s boxers until they were off of his body, laughing when complications came through.
Phil pulled Dan’s thighs onto his shoulders, balancing Dan’s body on his upper back. He kissed Dan’s thighs, and Dan trembled, throwing his head back and whimpering, whining for more.
Phil gave in, licking a stripe from Dan’s asshole to his perineum. Dan moaned, bucking his hips.
“Calm down baby, now tell me. You’re pretty, aren’t you?” Phil said, slicking up Dan’s hole with his spit,
“ B-but, I’m “
“ You’re pretty?”
“ I’m.. not?”
Phil slid his tongue into Dan, sliding it around the skin outside and thrusting back in.
“ I’m pre- ah! I’m pretty!” Dan screamed, coming thick, white ropes over his grey sheets.
Phil licked the cum, sliding Dan’s boxers back onto his body, as Dan apologized for coming so fast.
“ It was cute.” Phil said, kissing Dan.
“ Now say, you’re pretty?”
______________________________________
IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO BAD IDK HOW TO END THINGS
.
.
.
.
.
TAGS: #danisnotonfire #amazingphil
#phan #danandphil #phanporn
#phansmut #danhowell #phillester
idk how else to add tags when you answer an anon, so lOL
can you write punk!dan and pastel!phil go shopping and phil gets distracted by something and dan finds something so cute and pastel and tries it on and phil finds him (dan claims to hate pastels on himself)
“Dann, why not?” Phil whined for probably the hundredth time, stomping his foot a bit. Dan rolled his eyes, swinging their hands as they walked through the mall.
“Because!” Dan scrunched his nose. “I hate pastels on me. It just doesn’t fit me.”
Phil shook his head. “Right, because your soul is so dark and depressing.” His tone was mocking, and Dan sighed.
“Exactly,” he said defensively, grinning crookedly.
“I still don’t see why you can’t just try something on.” Phil smirked, drawing a finger up Dan’s chest. “I can make it worth it…”
Dan raised his eyebrows, slapping Phil’s hand away. “You’re really gonna play that card?”
Phil pouted, crossing his arms. “You’re no fun.”
Dan just scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. He bit his lip, running his tongue over his lip piercing.
“Dan!” Phil practically shrieked, stopping in his tracks, making Dan flinch.
“Jesus, what?” Dan grumbled, stopping and turning to look at the pastel clad boy. Phil’s eyes were lit up, staring in the window of the store in front of him.
“Dan! Look at all of them!” He pointed at the display of cactuses and small succulents on sale, his grin widening. “They’re so cute, oh my god…”
Dan groaned, shaking his head and grabbing Phil’s hand, trying to tug him away. “We’ve talked about this, you already have enough house plants, you don’t need to kill more…”
“DAN!” Phil shouted again, more shrill this time, and Dan let go of his hand to cover his ears.
“Phil, stop fucking-” he whirled on him, but Phil was already gone; inside the store.
Dan grumbled under his breath, shaking his head and straightening his leather jacket. “Fine, I’ll just wait here then…” he trailed off, sighing and looking around.
That’s when he noticed the Forever 21 across the way, and he bit his lip. There was a sweater in the window, a soft looking blue-purple turtleneck that would probably go to mid thigh on him.
It wouldn’t be bad to just look at it, right…?
-
Phil walked out of the flower shop holding four tiny succulents, and a bouquet of flowers, for Dan. He frowned, looking around.
Dan was nowhere to be seen, and Phil licked his lips. He wouldn’t leave without him, would he? No, of course not… He must be nearby.
That’s when Phil’s eyes settled on the Forever 21 on the other side of the aisle. He grinned. While he was waiting for Dan, he might as well look… he needed a new yellow flower crown anyways, surely Dan wouldn’t mind.
Phil walked into the store, moving to the section right next to the changing rooms. Which was clearly the right decision when HIS BOYFRIEND walked out, not seeing him, twirling a bit in front of the mirror and inspecting his appearance.
Phil dropped the bouquet, his mouth falling open.
Dan looked incredible; Phil would say better than Phil had ever looked in pastel, but that was just his opinion. He was wearing a perfectly loose wool sweater, the color of cloudy skies just before the sun comes out, the sleeves hanging just above his fingertips. He was also wearing a skirt. Phil’s tough, tattooed, pierced, punk boyfriend was wearing a pink tennis skirt, going down mid thigh. And he looked good.
“D-Dan…?” He stuttered, still shocked.
Dan jumped, turning to Phil and holding a hand to his heart, his eyes wide, his face instantly going red.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Phil, don’t do that,” he breathed, his voice catching. “This isn’t what it looks like, I swear.”
“Oh really?” Phil smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Because it looks like you’re wearing a skirt, Dan.”
Dan’s blush darkened, and he licked his lips. “Uh…” he trailed off.
Phil rolled his eyes, stepping forward and taking Dan’s hands in his. He leaned forward, kissing Dan’s cheek and grinning.
“You look amazing, babe,” he muttered, raising his eyebrows.
“Y-You think…?” Dan asked softly, looking down at himself. “I thought it was silly…”
“No.” Phil shook his head. “It’s really pretty. I would buy it if I thought I could pull it off, but you do better.” He smiled, searching Dan’s eyes.
Dan hesitated, and nodded. “Okay. I’ll buy it. But if you ever say a word about this to anyone, I’ll hide your plants.”
Phil gasped, laughing and ruffling Dan’s hair. “Oh, that reminds me, I bought you flowers pretty boy. Do you think they match your aesthetic now?”
Dan smacked him over the head, mumbling a ‘shut up,’ under his breath and turning to go back into the changing room.
hc where dan is a new teacher at a school and he's v shy and he has a crush on the principle (aka phil) who's all professional and orderly and Phil goes in to dans class to watch him teach and do one of those evaluation things and Phil notices how flustered dan gets when they make eye contact and they fuck after class
Dan’s a good teacher. That’s what he’s worked for for years, right? Endless hours of schooling, to be a high school teacher at a somewhat-prestigious private school.
He smiled a lot, and was a good listener. He wasn’t the favorite teacher, or the cool one necessarily, but he was a good one. Even though he’d stutter and blush whenever the principle came within twenty feet of him.
Dan sighed, shuffling some papers on his desk. He was tired; he had gotten to school early to work, and he hadn’t even had coffee yet. He looked up when a boy walked in; a scrawny student with glasses, his nickname was Georgie and he loved Dan.
Dan tried to smile, running his fingers through his messy hair. “Hey Georgie,” he mumbled, stifling a yawn. “Early again?”
The boy nodded. “I need to study for the test today.”
Oh. That’s right, the test.
“Mmh, that’s smart of you,” Dan muttered, pushing the stack of papers to the side of his desk.
“Professor,” he started, stepping forward and tilting his head to the side. “You know about the inspection, right? You don’t look very prepared…” Georgie pointed to the mess on Dan’s desk; the scattered papers and piled up coffee cups.
Dan frowned, his heart dropping. “Inspection…? I didn’t hear about an inspection…”
The boy raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, the check up for the teachers today. The principle’s coming around during class…” he trailed off.
Dan’s eyes widened. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath. “Oops. I didn’t cuss, don’t tell your parents.” Georgie giggled.
He hadn’t known. Why had no one told him?
They probably had. He had been rather spacey recently.
“Well I’m screwed,” Dan mumbled, biting his lip. “Georgie, would you mind helping me clean up a bit…? I’ll give you extra credit…”
The boy nodded immediately, slinging off his bag and tossing it on the nearest desk.
“Sir?” Georgie smirked slightly, helping Dan with some of the mugs. “Do you have a crush on Mr. Lester?”
Dan immediately flustered, his face going red. “A crush? N-No, of course not, it’s… I wouldn’t call it a crush…” Dan swallowed, stumbling over his words. “You w-wouldn’t understand.”
Georgie rolled his eyes, straightening his glasses. “Whatever you say, professor.”
The rest of the day, Dan was a mess. He was sweaty and his hands were shaking, and he stuttered far too much.
The students were noticing; a few times one of them would raise their hand and ask what was wrong, and Dan would just deflect it. He couldn’t mess this up; he actually liked this job, he liked the kids. And it would hurt to be fired by the literal most attractive man he’d ever seen.
Damn it, he needed to get it together.
His literature class was the last to be inspected, which just made it worse. When the door finally quietly opened and shut and Phil Lester stepped through, Dan actually jumped.
“Uh, great,” he breathed, flashing the man a shaky smile and pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. “Guys, your principle is here to check me out.” He instantly realized what he had said, and his face went magenta. “Er, I didn’t mean…” he let his face fall into his hands; some of the kids laughed, and one whistled. “Nevermind.”
Phil chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Mr. Howell. Don’t worry, nothing too serious, I’m just here to observe.” He made a motion with his hand for Dan to continue. “Go on. Don’t mind me.”
The problem was, Dan did mind him. He was in the corner of his vision, in his fucking sexy tie and that look on his face…
Dan was sweating, and he stumbled over his words more than a few times, once even forgetting what he was saying all together.
He was a hot mess the whole time, and that’s why he wasn’t surprised when Phil stayed where he was after all of the students had trailed from the room.
Dan sighed, facing him and offering him a tight lipped smile.
“I’m sorry… that wasn’t the best class I’ve taught, I’ve been sick…”
Phil held out his hand, stopping him. “Please don’t worry, Mr. Howell. You’re not in trouble. I just have to ask you something.”
Dan frowned, his nerves getting the best of him, his stomach flipping. “Yes?”
Phil set down his clipboard, and straightening his glasses. “Are you scared of me, Dan?”
Dan raised his eyebrows, surprised by the question. “Scared… of you…?” Dan repeated.
Phil nodded, taking off the glasses and setting them down, stepping forward, and Dan’s breath caught.
“I couldn’t help but notice how nervous you looked,” Phil said calmly, and Dan swore he saw the hint of a smirk on his lips. “Your eyes kept… flickering to me, and you’d get distracted. Are you intimidated by me?”
Dan bit his lip, keeping Phil’s gaze, trying not to show how much of an effect he had on him.
“Was I? I suppose I’m just nervous about my job, I like working here…” he trailed off, sighing at the skeptical look on Phil’s face. “Okay. You caught me.” He laughed, running his fingers through his hair. “I have a tiny crush on you, it’s silly.”
Phil raised one eyebrow, stepping closer again, backing him against the desk. Now Dan was positive he was smirking, just the tiniest bit, and it was attractive as hell.
“Is that so?” He asked, his voice going low, and Dan’s eyes widened.
“Yes?” Dan squeaked, and cleared his throat. Phil chuckled.
“Well I don’t find that silly, Mr. Howell. It’s actually quite flattering.” He placed his hands on either side of Dan, leaning against the desk, effectively trapping him against the wood.
“Oh yeah?” Dan breathed. This was definitely a move. His heart skipped a beat, and he let his eyes flicker from Phil’s eyes to his lips. If he kissed him, Dan would pass out.
Phil smiled crookedly. “Yes. And if I’m being completely honest, I have the smallest crush on you as well.”
Dan’s face tinted even more pink, and he bit his lip. “R-Really?”
“Yes…” Phil drew a line up Dan’s jaw with his finger, hooking it under his chin and smirking. He moved close enough to Dan’s ear that he could feel his breath against his skin. “I think you’re cute. But you won’t let that distract you, will you professor?”
Dan swallowed, and Jesus, this was turning him on.
“No, of c-course not, sir,” Dan breathed, stifling a moan as Phil’s breath brushed his neck.
“Mmh,” Phil hummed in approval, and Dan could practically taste his grin. “Good boy.” And then Phil’s lips were against Dan’s throat, sucking gently, and Dan lost it.
His hands flew up, grasping at Phil’s shirt, and he let out a quiet whimper-moan combination. Phil chuckled, letting his hands fall to Dan’s waist and pulling him closer.
Dan threw his head back, giving Phil more access and whining as he bit down on Dan’s most sensitive spots. It was crazy how he knew all the places that would make Dan weak, when he hadn’t even touched him before.
“If we’re still being honest,” Phil growled under his breath, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Dan’s hair and pulling his head back. “I’ve wanted to do this since you started working here.”
Dan moaned from the combination of the words and the rough gesture. “Please…” he whined, squirming against Phil’s touch.
Phil smirked, nipping at a spot right under Dan’s ear. “Please what, baby?”
“I want you,” Dan muttered in response, hooking his fingers in Phil’s belt loops and pulling him closer so their hips were pressed together. “Please, Phil.”
Phil grinned, pulling Dan forward by the shirt and kissing him open mouthed. Dan kissed back immediately, letting Phil take control, moaning against his mouth as Phil slipped his tongue into Dan’s, gripping his waist.
Phil’s hands roamed Dan’s body and soon it was frantic, kissing him roughly and touching everywhere he could reach. Dan whimpered, bucking his hips into Phil’s, making Phil groan and hold him still, grinding against him.
Phil pulled back, his hair messy and his eyes flashing with pure lust.
“Clothes off,” he growled, moving over to the door and locking it.
Dan hurried to pull his jeans down when he collected himself, kicking them away as well as his shoes, tugging his sweater over his head. When Phil got back he kissed Dan again, loosening his tie.
“Pants,” he muttered, an order, and Dan nodded, falling to his knees and working at Phil’s zipper. He tugged them down, mouthing at the visible bulge in his boxers.
Phil groaned, tangling his fingers in Dan’s hair with one hand and using the other to unbutton his shirt.
“Jesus, Dan,” he breathed. “You’re good with your mouth.”
Dan looked up at him, grinning and standing, pushing Phil’s shirt the rest of the way off. “Thanks.”
Phil pushed him back against the desk, kissing him hotly and grabbing at his ass, grinding against him. Dan moaned, a high pitched whine falling from his lips.
“Do you have…?”
“Yes,” Dan said immediately, moving to dig through the bottom drawer of his desk, pulling out a condom and then a small bottle of lube. Phil raised his eyebrows, and Dan shrugged. “What, I masterbate a lot,” he mumbled, coming back and wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck.
Phil smirked, kneading his ass and making Dan squeak. “Do you think about me?”
“Hell yeah,” Dan answered, breathless. “Now fuck me.”
Phil nodded, silently flipping Dan around, bending him over the desk. “Impatient,” he muttered, tutting and smoothing his hand over Dan’s ass.
Dan whimpered, burying his face in his arms and pushing back. “Please, sir, more.”
Phil tugged Dan’s boxers down swiftly, digging his nails into the soft flesh.
“Of course, babe,” he growled, pressing Dan’s face against the desk.
It didn’t take long to stretch him; Dan whined and pushed back on his fingers, transformed into a horny submissive teenager by Phil’s touch. It was adorable, and Phil could feel himself getting harder by the second.
Soon enough Dan was stretched enough, and Phil hurried to roll on the rubber and lube himself up, the anticipation in his stomach building.
He placed one hand firmly on Dan’s lower back and one was tangled in his hair, tugging as he pushed in without warning.
Dan cried out, muffling his moans of desperation by biting down on his hand. Phil groaned at the tight heat surrounding him, bottoming out slowly and digging his nails into Dan’s skin.
“So good,” he breathed huskily, pulling out almost all the way and pushing back in. “So fucking good, Dan, so tight- look so good underneath me…”
Dan moaned, loud and feminine; Phil was a talker, and fuck, that turned him on. Phil snapped his hips suddenly, thrusting hard, filling Dan up completely and making him scream. His eyes rolled back in his head.
“Fuck-! Phil, fuck, harder-!” He felt Phil press his face into the desk harder, and he practically drooled, panting desperately.
Phil listened to him, speeding up his thrusts and fucking into him rough. He rolled his hips, groaning and gripping Dan’s hips.
“Fuck, Dan-” he moaned, lining himself up to Dan’s body to kiss down the back of his neck as he thrust into him. “Oh Jesus, you feel so good.”
He sped up as much as he could, the only noises in the room being Dan’s noises of pleasure as well and Phil’s groans, and the slapping of skin.
Dan nearly screamed as Phil pounded into his prostate over and over again, hitting him in just the right spots, and he could feel himself getting close.
He came without warning, over the desk, his moans loud as ever and high pitched and whiny.
Phil made a noise low in his throat at Dan’s sudden change of pitch, and the tightening around his cock, and came into him with one last thrust.
The next day, Dan wore a turtleneck to class.