A Light Shines Within

flat fuck friday

you know what day it is

queued this because I did NOT want to miss another Flat Fuck Friday

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

this is the correct response btw

fuck I left mine in the jar by the door

I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”

*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired

Robber, standing in the middle of the room: Now, if I were an anxious, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, bisexual disaster with a really bad memory, where would I put the documents?

Client: OK, this is the target.  The back door will be unlocked.  The place is a mess, the person there has ADHD off the walls.  Find these documents and bring them to me.

Professional Thief: Right. What do I do if they come home and find me there, how you want me to handle that?

Client: Nah, won’t happen. I’m gonna sit at the coffeeshop until you call me, I won’t be home.

Professional: What?

Client: What?

i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

ancestral form of touch grass

Y'all forgetting the OG

The above post is not the OG. 

The original, as seen below, was posted on Facebook by a guy in Cincinnati. Someone else saw it and thought they would have more luck propagating it if they changed the city to “Detroit,” because in the American popular consciousness, Detroit is a more infamously blighted city than Cincinnati. And indeed, that version was the one that proliferated, because it resonated more with the people who saw it. The original poster and the original city were forgotten.

Does this really matter to anyone (besides Joshua Cromwell)? Perhaps not. But sometimes people do this with things that are more important than porches…

someone stole our fucking meme! can’t have shit in Cincinnati

???

you have to call someone now

Constantly repeating to myself “you are not broken you are young and learning how to live” during everything I do everywhere I go all the time

for the record. i dont post cringe to keep the twitter users at bay. i do not post cringe at all. if you cringe at my posts, thats on you, not me. i am simply having a good time on this webbed site and if that makes you cringe, i am sorry for whatever you see in me that shames you so.

you know what would be one of the greatest things Tumblr could implement right now?

there are currently community labels based on nsfw content but i believe adding a label for flashing lights would be incredible

i personally don't have epilepsy, but my father does and i would not like to find out i've inherited it scrolling through my dash.

this is a matter of safety and accessibility. our community is already conscious about these matters, but adding a uniform system would help everyone

(please reblog this post, spread the idea)

I genuinely love all those comments on this video

Would like to formally apologize to the animation team behind the OG scooby doo. I thought this shit was just cheap animation, they really did just dance like that back then.