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Yep just another 20-something fangirl

@graydalestairs

Andy/XIV/Bi/She/Her ||| I love TSC and Cassandra Clare. Kit is Bi AF. I support all LGBTQQIP2SAA content. No original content because I don't have anything to offer any fandom. ||| @lovelytitania header @liqhtwoodx icon
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Anonymous asked:

Hi this is a text I wrote about loving my bisexuality : I love men & women's beauties. When I go out, I like to look at the faces of people around me. We can be proudly attracted to both types! We can be attracted to the curve of a breast, the roundness of a woman’s hip, her fine hands…. We can be attracted to the back and/or the muscled torso of a man, his deep voice, his haircut, his eyes… Everybody is so beautiful! Be proud of who you are!

thanks for sharing

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ms-demeanor

When I was 18 my friend Brandon very patiently sat me down in and explained to me that I needed to stop calling myself bi if I was dating men. He said “I know you wanna feel what it’s like to be called a dyke and have people hate you because you think that means something but you’ve gotta stop lying to yourself. You have a boyfriend, you’re not bi, and you’re leading on the girls at work who have a crush on you.”

And I listened. He set me up with his straight friend. He went through my wardrobe and got rid of clothes that were too butch for a straight girl. He relaxed and dyed my hair, he taught me to do makeup. He made me pretty. He helped me learn  how to act like a girl because I wasn’t very good at it.

He was my friend. I wanted him to like me. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to appropriate his oppression.

I still feel uncomfortable when I think about participating in pride. Half an hour of being accused of lying to people and using up community resources fourteen years ago makes me go “but I’m female-passing most of the time and I’m in a relationship that looks heterosexual from the outside, I should just leave it to the people who need it” every time I think about going to a parade or wearing rainbows.

I bind and I pack and (sometimes) I (quietly) think about HRT and thinking about being a guy is (sometimes) like a lifeline, like waking up to relief, but I worry the trans flag isn’t for me, that’s for people who are serious, that’s for people who need it; I wouldn’t want to give people the wrong idea, I don’t need it, I don’t deserve it, I’m just leading people on.

I don’t wanna take up space. Somebody else needs it, I’m fine.

Anyway Brandon was a tremendous load of bullshit, exclusionists can fuck off forever, and they’ve been using the same tactics forever. (Also this is why I am completely supportive of a-spec inclusion; are you fucking kidding me it’s the exact same rhetoric being leveled against people who are discriminated against for their sexual orientation how would these folks NOT belong in the community?)

As someone who was gatekept long before tumblr was a thing I’d like you all to know that you’re good enough, you’re welcome, it’s for you too.

Also as someone who is arranging Pride events:

Jegus Grahd Aargrhh Frackening Aargh COME just FUCKING COME I don’t care about your identity we need you we need people there in the parade in the audience as volunteers we fucking need you JUST COME AAArghhrgrhrrhr!

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The big difference between liberal LGBT identity politics and revolutionary queer politics is:

That the goal of liberal LGBT identity politics is to present four (or 5, 6, 7, depending on the acronym) clearly defined LGBT identities with an easily digestable narrative to them to so that LGBT people may be understood, incorporated into societies notions of normalcy and turned into respectable citizens under capitalism. 

While the goal of revolutionary queer politics is to complicate identity, to defy definition, to disrupt clear narratives, to continue to be confusing and paradoxical, so that queer people can not be incorporated or turned into respectable citizens and can continue on their struggle to destroy normalcy and respectability, which is a struggle that connects us to all struggles against oppression. 

If we seem blatantly sexual or grotesquely unfuckable, if we make polite company uncomfortable, if we seem self-contradicting, if we wear slurs like badges of honor, if we’re bad rolemodels, if we seem weird or dangerous, that’s the point. 

Personally, I don’t wanna assimilate into a culture that would rather I put up with systematic abuses. I wanna build something that doesn’t demand we fit into pre-made molds of what is acceptable and what isn’t. Burn it all down, I’m here, I’m queer, I’m not taking your shit!

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Anonymous asked:

so I have been questioning my sexuality lately and i think i might be bi but i don't know. i questioned my sexuality for a really long time and could never find the right label. i ided as a lesbian for a year and the lesbian label felt so right but now i'm not so sure. i sort of have a crush on a guy but i can't tell if it's just comp het or not. i want to be attracted to men and i want to be bi but i'm not sure if i actually am attracted to men. please help

First of all, pelase stop using “comp het”. It’s a term that was created by a transmisogynist and it’s frequently used to invalidate bisexuality and bi women as well. Just say “heteronormativity” or “internalised lesbophobia” - gets the point across just as well and doesn’t have that bitter trans- and biphobic aftertaste.

I can’t tell you if you “really” attracted to men or not. If you have a crush on that one guy then that sounds a lot like you are attracted to men - or at least that one man. If you think that’s enough to call yourself bisexual then it is enough. You really don’t have to proof that you’re “bi enough”. As long as you feel like you have the potential to be attracted to more than one gender then you’re bi - congrats! But if you think this one guy is The Exception and you don’t find it significant enough to change your label for it then, by all means, keep calling yourself a lesbian.

I get that internalised lesbophobia and the feeling that you should stick to heteronormative expectations can cause a lesbian to “wish to be attracted to men” so they’d be more accepted by society but the problem with this is that a) bi women aren’t more accepted by society than lesbians - we get just as much (if somewhat different) shit as lesbians and b) one indicator of being bisexual is wanting to be bisexual. So really this whole “I want to be attracted to men”-thing isn’t something you can go by to determine whether you’re gay or bi because it might give you contradictory results.

So just go by whatever feels better to you right now. The only person who can pick a label for you is yourself - so go by whatever feels right. And if it doesn’t feel right anymore then try something else. Maybe try other labels as well like sapphic, queer, homoflexible.

Maddie

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Your experiences are not universal!
  • Queer may be a slur where you are. That doesn’t mean no one gets to use it.
  • As a trans person your goal may be to pass. Someone else’s may just be to feel comfortable in their own skin.
  • Some people keep the same label for their entire life. Some people change it with their mood. Both are okay.
  • You may have been cheated on by a bisexual or someone else attracted to more than one gender, that does NOT make it okay to presume that everyone of that sexuality is a cheater.
  • You may experience dysphoria. Another transpec person may not. You’re both trans.
  • Some trans people like tucking/binding. Not everyone has to!
  • In that same vein, some trans women want to have short hair and some trans men want long hair. You still have to respect their identities.
  • Some asexuals want to be considered part of the LGBTQ community, some don’t. Don’t fucking gatekeep and let those who want in, in.
  • Asexuals aren’t “straights”, because guess what? They’re not fucking heterosexual.
  • You may have met an asexual who was alright with having sex. This does not make them allosexual, and also does not mean that all other aces would want to have sex.
  • Some people are okay with being called queer and some aren’t. Don’t assume.
  • Same with alloromantic and -sexual.
  • Butch and femme lesbians don’t need to look any particular way.
  • Don’t be a goddamn asshole.
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reblogged

I don’t even go here but my friend wants me to share the ao3 link for the rest of her “fengxian” fic once she’s done writing and polishing it, if you want it? She’s ok posting on ao3 but not putting her tumblr name to it lmao idek what she’s writing lolololol maybe I should get into this fandom tho

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Your friend is valid and I would be happy to promote their fic when it’s posted! (This goes for any of y’all too— if you send me the link, I will post it.)

And, yes— if you like any or all of the following: necromancers, politics, dumb gays, murder mysteries, family drama, really dumb gays or Chinese fantasy, you might enjoy Mo Dao Zu Shi

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you had me at dumb gays but now you super have me at really dumb gays

hey friends and fellow dumbest of gays, imma read this! anyone else in these parts a mo dao zu shi fan already?

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aknownbi
someone: oh you’re bi! but if you had to choose would you choose boy or girl?
me: um don’t be ignorant that’s not how bisexuality works tf
me, internally, without hesitation: girls
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endofeva1997

Smash mouth has a song about a guy realizing the girl he’s dating is still in love with her ex girlfriend and he encourages said ex to come back and rekindle their lesbian romance

Maybe the real All Star was the bisexuals we met along the way

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tastykake
[Pence] was so concerned about the criticism he received from U.S. Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon that his staff went to the extraordinary length of asking the U.S. Olympic Committee to set up a conversation between the two – an offer Rippon turned down.

I love him so much oh my gods he’s amazing 😭😭😭😭😭

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