"Say Hello To The Stars For Me"

does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago

Sodomy

Sodomy

Sodomy

I can’t ever leave tumblr because I just love the tag function.. no other social media platform allows you to heckle yourself on your own post. you get to preemptively make metatextual commentary abt your OWN POST. how cool is that

shout out to the 🧍 emoji. it conveys so much. no other way to truly explain the emotion you get when you feel like🧍

rocky horror picture show asks what would happen if frankenstein’s creature knew its purpose from birth. it also asks “what if victor frankenstein did drag and a lot of cocaine” which is a frankly more important question

i took elvish in school and i fucking hated it. the teacher was like 700 years old and he'd like take us on field trips to sit on the banks of babbling brooks and watch the fall of sunlight through the leaves. my friends in spanish class were like conjugating verbs and shit and meanwhile i was in an old-growth forest being overcome with awe at the sight of a majestic stag. like uhh yeah mr autumnheart when are we gonna learn like any grammar "listen to the murmur of the wind in the treetops, and you shall find the grammar you seek" like fuck dude your pedagogy leaves much to be desired

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else

come here

im on me crystal ball rn

we named your crystal ball tumblr

that explains it! spirits, show me the next post

ohohoh… shoelaces… from the president! how novel. spirits, show me elven femboys

ƃuılıǝɔ uƃıʞɔnɟ ɐɥʇ uo uıpuɐʇs ǝzılɐɯɹou

hey! get down from there!

ou

touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars

this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

Even ignoring the quantity of workers or weaponry, I think there’s something special about specifically

not the

not the shar

not the sharpest kn

*nods wisely* not the sharpest knool in the shed

watching doctor who when someone's run wraps up is like watching the superbowl knowing that as soon as the game ends they're going to kill the winning quarterback on live tv

i wish i had a gay cigarette

Fag

i have a name

Most people in the LGBTQIA community don’t appreciate cishets using the F word.

If we were in the same house in the same room, I’d be dragging you by the ear “old mama style”and making you eat a bar of ivory soap.

Don’t fuck with me, Poppin’ Fresh. You’ll find that as an ally, I don’t take kindly to ANYONE using that word.

who are you talking to

The King of Silence: Who dares make noise in my presence...

The Unapologetic Sniffer:

i know this is very specific but i want to extend my love to people who can’t keep things clean. people who struggle with hoarding disorder, people who fear they might one day if someone does not keep them in check, people who don’t understand why this is so hard for them. people who take multiple exhausting days to clean their rooms, people whose rooms and houses are so dirty they catch a cold after trying to clean, people who can’t finish cleaning. people who have struggled since childhood to keep things clean and organized, people for whom this problem developed later, people who have only recently began to struggle. people who have cried so many tears, suffered so much cruelty and yelling from other people, struggled with shame so strong they can’t invite people over. i love each and every one of you. i promise that you are not alone, because i am the same as you. we’ll get through it. i promise we will

it’s not fucking tinnitus idiot that’s my guardian angel speaking to me

“what’s xe saying” eeeeeeeeee

stop reblogging this without the addition if i dont have neopronouns in my posts theyll end up in terflandia by like 500 notes