I think rent should be $4 a month

like hey landlord, thanks for letting me stay at your place. go get yourself a snack this month

oh a thousand? you want a thousand? that's too many snacks babygirl

Anybody else got that Evergiven sized writers block

“Where’s the next chapter?!” Well buddy you’re never gonna guess

What’s the comic sans trick?

#i feel like someone just asked me to eat dirt for my health

wingdings' true purpose as a font

Wingdings holy shit some of y'all are on a whole different level of galaxy wizard brain batshittery and I am in awe.

Exciting. When I don't want to see what I'm writing I just make the font color almost indistinguishable from the background color. (Do not do this.)

(I don't think the secret to the comic sans hack is comic sans itself; I think it's any deflation of being intimidated by your canvas.)

Hold on I need to go look something up immediately.

... you can't say that and not give the link.

Looks like you can even make it something other than kittens, by appending ?search=dinosaur (that's the example the page gives) to the end of the URL.

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

#oh it raises money thru ad revenue and ur click confirms the value to advertisers. neat

UC or ER?

HONESTLY THOUGH

THIS IS BOTH ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE

Urgent Care is for your "Oh no!" accidents.

Emergency Care is for your "Oh fuck!" accidents.

Hey, if you're a minor and you're following my blog, I just need you to be aware:

You have been on this earth for fewer years than my cat has.

She turns 20 this week, everyone please say happy birthday 🥳💖

Update! She tolerated wearing a hat for the occasion ✨

Good news, everyone!! 🎉

Barty and Lily becoming friends after pining after the Rosier twins.

It happens basically overnight and everyone is confused on why Barty Crouch Jr., Barty who loves hexing and pushing first years down the stairs, Barty who licks people he's close to in some dog like claim, Barty who is Barty suddenly started hanging out with Lily Evans, Lily Head Girl, Lily who runs a study group every week in the library, Lily who is Lily.

The rumors went crazy. Maybe they were dating, maybe they're working on a project together (because despite how Barty is Barty, he's quite bright when he wants to be), maybe Lily is trying to reform him.

But that's not it at all. They both understand each other, that's why they started being around each other 24/7. They were both bewitched by the blond locks and blue eyes and wild ways. Barty is seconds away from biting Evan is some weird carnal way to make sure that the scars of his love will stay until they both rot into bones. Lily wants to scream and cry whenever Pandora glances in her general direction. Lily didn't know that she could burst into flames at any given moment until Pandora.

They get each other. And that's what matters.

Reblog to kill it faster

genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!

another thing that pop culture latched onto is this idea that you might use a wreath of garlic bulbs to ward off a vampire, however, in the book there is a popular use of garlic blossoms rather than the bulbs. i think these are a lot prettier and way more versatile for stylisation! you could have a garlic flower crown.

also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula

ATLA AU book one: water (1/?)

@bl4des

“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

Hamlet as a D&D paladin.

Keep reading

some gems of insight from the reblogs (@aspiring-protagonist​ and @moderndayathena​):

Weren’t you listening? He’s praying. GOES HARD AS FUCK

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

I will give you my last seconds

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER