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Like Sleeping Beauty But Nocturnal

@thebirdsofgay

Living, laughing, and looking for faeries in the woods✨
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gabrielora

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

ok hold on actually i rb'd this before with just tags but im going to come back in on this again

any medical diagnostic you will ever undergo does not mean "always 100% Every Time Ever you have this problem". And it sucks because they will phrase it in a way that SOUNDS like 100% Every Time including on the testing for being a person who has trouble with how specific phrasing is supposed to be.

literally the example I always use is I spent way longer without glasses then I should have because the eyesight chart diagnostic is "identify the letter", so I went 'ok the point of this is to do good identifying letters'. Then i realized

they want to know if I can see. Not if I can identify that a blurry shape is an A because of its unique outline.

So i started qualifying my answers with "blurry". Blurry A, Blurry Y, Blurry Z. Now I have glasses.

they do not make this clear. I do not know why. But you can more or less apply this to any medical diagnostic, and if it's a written diagnostic if your answer is 'sometimes' and the only answers are 'yes or no' you put Yes.

Do I have trouble getting out of bed? Sometimes, yes. So the answer is Yes.

Regrettably tests are made for and by non-autistic people and aimed at non-autistic caregivers and medical experts, which isnt how it should be, and makes it one more complicated thing to navigate. World a hell.

Similarly, if the answer is, "No, because I have a strategy," the answer is really yes. If the question is, "Do you have trouble being on time?" and your thought process is, "Not any more since I started setting four different alarms and putting everything in my planner as starting a half-hour earlier than it really is." the answer is yes, because you've had to use unusually complicated techniques to address the trouble that you have. Having figured out away to outsmart the problem means that the problem was there to begin with.

Having a system for a seemingly effortless-to-neurotypical-people task is a symptom until proven otherwise.

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Sat too long in my feelings about the Gotham Knights video game Jason Todd going to therapy and trying to engage with his siblings from a place of healing and hurt myself, so now I'm inflicting this on all of you, but:

Do you ever think about how Jason only ever gets to experience Dick as an extension of the breakdown of Dick and Bruce's relationship at that time? Granted, depending on the comic era, Dick maybe doesn't show up as much as he should, or Jason acts like an antagonistic little shit, but overall, Dick's falling out with Bruce overshadows all of it.

And, like, yeah, it's funny to joke that only Jason knows that Dick went through a shitbag teenage phase and that no one ever believes him. (Gaslight, Gate Keep, Gotham ✌) And Jason is irate about it because how can they not see through what is clearly The World's Best Big Brother Act? How can no one else see it's fake?

(Unless it's not fake, and Jason just wasn't worth loving... No, fuck off, he doesn't care, he doesn't. Leave him alone.)

But at the same time, what if Jason's the only one who realizes it's a trauma response?

What if Jason's in the middle of a therapy session or reading one of the self-help books we see him ordering, and he just has to take a moment to breathe because, of course, it's a fucking trauma response. Of course, it is.

Dick's not pretending to be anything. He was, in fact, so severely affected by Jason's death that he over-corrected and now refuses to let himself be anything other than the Perfect Big Brother. Because he can't. Because when he's not perfect, when he's not there for them, they die.

Suddenly the golden retriever's cheerfulness is less grating and more worrying. Dick's need for perfection is less an annoying personality trait to compete with and more an exhausted cry for help that no one else seems to see. Not even Dick.

Because Jason realizes now that he might have never managed to live up to the Golden Boy mantle, but Dick will never get to put it down, either. Because he can't let himself. Because bad shit happens when he does.

So what if that's what he hopes Dick reads between the lines in the email he sends him in GK?

What if, by saying, "Hey, I realize now trying to hold myself to your standards was damaging my relationship with you, but I need you to know it wasn't your fault," was also Jason saying, "Hey, this shit isn't healthy are you fucking okay?"

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*republicans flip gender switch on and off* welcome to hell! welcome to hell!

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aleshakills

Hey, do y’all remember that time we (trans women) told y’all that stubbornly using gender neutral language to refer to trans women is an act of misgendering and transmisogyny in and of itself and y’all said we didn’t know what we were talking about?

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hedoenism
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crazy-pages

“Gender neutral address as the formal default should be the standard because it helps desegregate our society” and “Conservative bigots, when confronted with a trans woman who is so visibly feminine they can’t misgender her as a man without dissonance, will use gender neutrality as their next resort to avoid recognizing her existence” are things which can be simultaneously true.

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do not forget the patron saint of these weeks that we celebrate ourselves proudly and openly in the streets

her name was Marsha P Johnson, and we have her to thank for so much.

remember, the first Pride was a riot, and she was one of the brave souls who endured it to help carve the path which so many of us walk today. she helped found several activist groups regarding LGBT safety and wellbeing. and she was absolutely radiant, too.

thank you, Marsha. we remember you.

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Dave Brandt was so much more than a meme. He partnered with universities to experiment with and expand soil conservation and cover crop techniques, worked to educate other farmers through worldwide conventions and direct mentorship, founded the Soil Health Academy, and was called the "Obi-Wan Kenobi of soil health" by the chief of the USDA's conservation department.

There is no healthy planet without healthy ag practices, and this guy was a legend.

I'm always so happy to learn people enjoyed becoming a meme because it's so often the opposite.

This is a great overview of the kind of sustainable farming work he did btw

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liquidstar

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Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”

That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!

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geekdawson

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

This post has helped me so much I’m glad I’ve come across it again

It has honestly saved some of my relationships and it could have saved others if I had taken it to heart earlier

It’s how I approach all new relationships, and I’ll state this outright to be clear

I can’t stop myself from overanalyzing initially, but I have regularly stopped myself from obsessing over or acting on my overanalyzing

Thank you so much for making this post

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reblogged

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

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penrosesun
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weaselle

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

  • Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"
  • But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.
  • In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.
  • They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.
  • At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.
  • That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)
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yeomanstuff

This. All of this.

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For those not in the know, this is one of the Amanita mushrooms referred to as a Destroying Angel. Never, ever, ever, ever forage with an app. Especially for mushrooms.

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biglawbear

One day when AI is finally regulated, those regulations will be written in blood

We're currently in the "unregulated wild west cuz no one has died yet" era

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yeomanrand

The Amanita mushrooms, destroying angel included, are a horrible way to die. Particularly because, like rabies, when you first show symptoms you're already dead.

But that's not what makes Amanita Ocreata and it's relatives awful.

With rabies there is no reprieve: you are sick and get sicker until you die. With these mushrooms, though, you will be sick for a while, and then suddenly you will feel like it has passed, and you are on the mend.

This is a lie. You are about to return to groaning intestinal pain, slip into a coma, and die. Because during that "reprieve" period, as Kingfisher & Wombat note, the active toxin in the mushroom is destroying your liver.

Only forage with a reliable guide, never an app, and if you're not sure don't pick and eat it!

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gayvampyr

shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay

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More Muppet Princess Bride fan art! I didn't feel a need to Muppetify this line at all, I feel like Piggy saying this and then cutting to Kermit's trademark eyes is funny enough. Hopefully ya'll agree!

I spent way too much time wondering if I should change "Farm boy" to "Farm frog" but farm boy just sounded better.

I intended to draw Kermit with the same expression Westley has in the film, but it's hard to resist giving Kermit at least a slight smile. So let's just say he's smiling because he genuinely appreciates Piggy's compliment.

So, right after posting the previous drawing one of my Instagram followers (Thank you C_Robinns!) pointed out a line of Piggy's from the Muppet Show describing Kermit's eyes and I am immediately forced to acknowledge that THIS is the far superior version of this scene (Seriously how perfect is this line??).

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reblogged

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

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