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@convolutedplot / convolutedplot.tumblr.com

I'm just a nerd who's into tons of fandoms. As of right now, I'll be mostly reblogging Bungou Stray Dogs. I also occasionally doodle and write, though not often.
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ultrafacts

Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie. 

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So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt?

Well I have a new hero.

Her whole wikipedia article is gold

“When her father was governor of New York, he and his wife proposed that Alice attend a conservative school for girls in New York City. Pulling out all the stops, Alice wrote, ‘If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will.’”

“Her father took office in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley, Jr. in Buffalo (an event that she greeted with “sheer rapture.”)“

“During the cruise to Japan, Alice jumped into the ship’s pool fully clothed, and coaxed a congressman to join her in the water. (Years later Bobby Kennedy would chide her about the incident, saying it was outrageous for the time, to which the by-then-octogenarian Alice replied that it would only have been outrageous had she removed her clothes.”

“She was dressed in a blue wedding dress and dramatically cut the wedding cake with a sword (borrowed from a military aide attending the reception)”

“When it came time for the Roosevelt family to move out of the White House, Alice buried a Voodoo doll of the new First Lady, Nellie Taft, in the front yard.”

“Later, the Taft White House banned her from her former residence—the first but not the last administration to do so. During Woodrow Wilson’s administration (from which she was banned in 1916 for a bawdy joke at Wilson’s expense)…”

“As an example of her attitudes on race, in 1965 her African-American chauffeur and one of her best friends, Turner, was driving Alice to an appointment. During the trip, he pulled out in front of a taxi, and the driver got out and demanded to know of him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” Turner took the insult calmly, but Alice did not and told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!”

“To Senator Joseph McCarthy, who had jokingly remarked at a party “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she sarcastically said “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not.”

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mewjounouchi

I love this woman.

WOMEN WHO NEED FUCKEN MOVIES.

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themauveroom
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This is Alice as an older lady. The pillow says “If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.” 

She is my absolute favorite. 

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angelus80

This is great! I’d love a film about her.

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zechv

shes literally louise from bobs burgers

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fearofpop

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

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So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

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things people do in real world dialogue:

• laugh at their own jokes

• don’t finish/say complete sentences

• interrupt a line of thought with a sudden new one

• say ‘uh’ between words when unsure

• accidentally blend multiple words together, and may start the sentence over again

• repeat filler words such as ‘like’ ‘literally’ ‘really’ ‘anyways’ and ‘i think’

• begin and/or end sentences with phrases such as ‘eh’ and ‘you know’, and may make those phrases into question form to get another’s input

• repeat words/phrases when in an excited state

• words fizzle out upon realizing no one is listening

• repeat themselves when others don’t understand what they’re saying, as well as to get their point across

• reply nonverbally such as hand gestures, facial expressions, random noises, movement, and even silence

This is all good advice,  especially if your dialog tends to be somewhat stiff or unnatural, but reading it all in a list, I’m imagining a section of dialogue with literally all of these, back to back, in order, and it’s fucking hilarious. Someone write me a microfic. I don’t even care who it’s about.

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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

Source: katelizabeth
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Synonyms For Very

This masterlist is a masterlist of words that you may use alongside the word very, very being one of the most common words that are used when writing. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in our writing seem more sophisticated and unique. 

A:

Very accurate - exact Very afraid - fearful Very angry - furious Very annoying - exasperating

B:

Very bad - atrocious Very beautiful - exquisite Very big - immense Very boring - dull Very bright - luminous Very busy - swamped

C:

Very calm - serene Very careful - cautious Very cheap - stingy Very clean - spotless Very clear - obvious Very clever - intelligent Very cold - freezing Very colourful - vibrant Very competitive - cutthroat Very complete - comprehensive Very confused - perplexed Very conventional - conservative Very creative - innovative Very crowded - bustling Very cute - adorable

D:

Very dangerous - perilous Very dear - cherished Very deep - profound Very depressed - despondent Very detailed - meticulous Very different - disparate Very difficult - arduous Very dirty - filthy Very dry - arid Very dull - tedious

E:

Very eager - keen Very easy - effortless Very empty - desolate Very excited - thrilled Very exciting - exhilarating Very expensive - costly

F:

Very fancy - lavish Very fast - swift Very fat - obese Very friendly - amiable Very frightened - alarmed Very frightening - terrifying Very funny - hilarious

G:

Very glad - overjoyed Very good - excellent Very great - terrific

H:

Very happy - ecstatic Very hard - difficult Very hard-to-find - rare Very heavy - leaden Very high - soaring Very hot - sweltering Very huge - colossal Very hungry - ravenous Very hurt - battered

I:

Very important - crucial Very intelligent - brilliant Very interesting - captivating

J:

K:

L:

Very large - huge Very lazy - indolent Very little - tiny Very lively - vivacious Very long - extensive Very long-term - enduring Very loose - slack Very loud - thunderous Very loved - adored

M:

Very mean - cruel Very messy - slovenly

N:

Very neat - immaculate Very necessary - essential Very nervous - apprehensive Very nice - kind Very noisy - deafening

O:

Very often - frequently Very old - ancient Very old-fashioned - archaic Very open - transparent

P:

Very painful - excruciating Very pale - ashen Very perfect - flawless Very poor - destitute Very powerful - compelling Very pretty - beautiful

Q:

Very quick - rapid Very quiet - hushed

R:

Very rainy - pouring Very rich - wealthy

S:

Very sad - sorrowful Very scared - petrified Very scary - chilling Very serious - grave Very sharp - keen Very shiny - gleaming Very short - brief Very shy - timid Very simple - basic Very skinny - skeletal Very slow - sluggish Very small - petite Very smart - intelligent Very smelly - pungent Very smooth - sleek Very soft - downy Very sorry - apologetic Very special - exceptional Very strong - forceful Very stupid - idiotic Very sure - certain Very sweet - thoughtful

T:

Very talented - gifted Very tall - towering Very tasty - delicious Very thirsty - parched Very tight - constricting Very tiny - minuscule Very tired - exhausted

U:

Very ugly - hideous Very unhappy - miserable Very upset - distraught

V:

W:

Very warm - hot Very weak - frail Very well-to-do - wealthy Very wet - soaked Very wide - expansive Very willing - eager Very windy - blustery Very wise - sage Very worried - distressed

X:

Y:

Z:

A/N: If you know of anymore words I can add please message me.

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elliottholt

A Few of My Favorite Russian Proverbs (with their literal translations)

  • Большой секрет — знает весь свет.    Big secret—the whole world knows.
  • Борода не делает философом.  A beard doesn’t make a philosopher.
  • В темноте все кошки серы.  All cats are gray in the dark.
  • В Ту́лу со свои́м самова́ром не е́здят. No one brings a samovar to Tula. (Tula is famous as the city where samovars were manufactured. This is the equivalent of “Don’t bring coal to Newcastle.”)
  • Волко́в боя́ться — в лес не ходи́ть. If you’re afraid of wolves, don’t go to the woods.
  • Говорить правду — потерять дружбу.  Tell the truth—lose friends.
  • Доверя́й, но проверя́й.  Trust, but verify.
  • Долг платежо́м кра́сен.  Debt is beautiful once it’s repaid.
  • Доно́счику — пе́рвый кнут. The informer is whipped first.
  • Друг познаётся в беде́.  You get to know your friend in trouble. (A friend in need is a friend indeed.)
  • Дру́жба дру́жбой, а де́нежкам счёт.  Friendship is friendship, but count money.
  • Знать всё — значит не знать ничего. To know everything is to know nothing.
  • И у стен бывают уши. And even walls have ears.
  • Когда́ де́ньги говоря́т, тогда́ пра́вда молчи́т.  When money talks, truth shuts up.
  • На чужо́м го́ре сча́стья не постро́ишь. One can’t build happiness upon another’s grief.
  • Назва́лся гру́здем — полеза́й в ку́зов. If you called yourself a mushroom—get in the basket. (Sort of like, “don’t just talk the talk—walk the walk.”)
  • Не ошиба́ется тот, кто ничего́ не де́лает. He that does nothing makes no mistakes.

NB: any translation mistakes are mine

USEFUL!!!

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[via The Toast]

  • The Elders would like a word with you.
  • The Ritual is about to begin.
  • Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.
  • You are going to the City. There is only one City. It is only said with a capital C. No one needs to bother saying the name of the City. It is the City.
  • Certain members of the Council are displeased with your family’s recent actions.
  • A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear.
  • The High Priest is not to be trusted.
  • Someone is eating an apple mockingly.
  • There is one body of water. It is called the Sea. The Great Sea, if you are feeling fancy.
  • You live in a region with no major exports, no centralized government, no banking system, a mysteriously maintained network of roads, and little to no job training for anyone who is not a farmer.
  • You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you were so young – but you remember his strong hands, as he fished or carpentered or whatever it was that he used to do with them.
  • You’re going to have to hurry, or you’re going to miss the Fair – and you never miss the Fair.
  • There is trouble at the Citadel.
  • Your full name has at least one apostrophe in it.
  • It is the first page, and you are already late for something. Your mother affectionately chides you as you gulp down a few spoonfuls of porridge; she will be dead by page forty-two.
  • There are two religions in your entire universe. One is a thinly veiled version of Islam. It is only practiced by villains. The other is “being a Viking.” You are a Viking.
  • There are new ways in the land that threaten the Old Way. Your grandmother secretly practices the Old Way, as do all of the people of the hills.
  • The real trouble began the day you arrived at court. Every last nobleman hides a viper in his smile. How you long for the purity of life in your village, which is currently on fire or something.
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meeedeee

I think I broke a rib laughing. or something.

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reblogged
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maplevogel

Very sorry for the two first slides!:D I didnt had the original scan anymore since I changed laptop recently! but heres how i scan and clean my watercolors.:D Sometimes I use photoshop or SAI to correct errors too. 

Next tutorial will probably be a little basic on how i use watercolors.:)

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Have a chart I developed for visualizing the disposition of your character! This is partly inspired by a chart I saw of Aristotle’s Golden Mean, which is a system he had for developing good character, but of course, this is more about gauging a character’s traits than bringing them into any kind of balance.

For a printable PDF version of the chart please follow this link.

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cidham

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

this changed my life

this was written before the printing press was invented and it still sounds like a modern day shitpost

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