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disfigured heart, crying purple tears

@sugarfreerooibos / sugarfreerooibos.tumblr.com

Dirk Strider kin (derogatory), he/him
#20 for monologues
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after a suicide attempt in 2016

“When Daddy comes in, he carries you to bed. Is there anything you feel like you could eat, Pokey? Anything at all? All you can imagine putting in your mouth is a cold plum, one with really tight skin on the outside but gum-shocking sweetness inside. And he and your mother discuss where he might find some this late in the season. Mother says hell I don’t know. Further north, I’d guess. The next morning, you wake up in your bed and sit up. Mother says, Pete, I think she’s up. He hollers in, You ready for breakfast, Pokey. Then he comes in grinning, still in his work clothes from the night before. He’s holding a farm bushel. The plums he empties onto the bed river toward you through folds in the quilt. If you stacked them up, they’d fill the deepest bin at the Piggly Wiggly. Damned if I didn’t get the urge to drive to Arkansas last night, he says. Your mother stands behind him saying he’s pure USDA crazy. Fort Smith, Arkansas. Found a roadside stand out there with a feller selling plums. And I says, Buddy, I got a little girl sick back in Texas. She’s got a hanker for plums and ain’t nothing else gonna do. It’s when you sink your teeth into the plum that you make a promise. The skin is still warm from riding in the sun in Daddy’s truck, and the nectar runs down your chin. And you snap out of it. Or are snapped out of it. Never again will you lay a hand against yourself, not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody-anybody-who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. So long as you bear the least nibblet of love for any other creature in this dark world, though in love portions are never stingy. There are no smidgens or pinches, only rolling abundance. That’s how you acquire the resolution for survival that the coming years are about to demand. You don’t earn it. It’s given.”

excerpt from Cherry by Mary Karr, context being after a suicide attempt at age 13

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elfwreck

Some context: Texas and Arkansas share a corner border. Now, Texas is FECKING HUGE and there are many, many parts of Texas that cannot visit Arkansas overnight, but there are parts where it’s no trouble at all.

However, those places of Texas that are close to Arkansas, do not include “close to Fort Smith, Arkansas.”

The closest Texas gets to Fort Smith is about 185 miles (about 300km), at “a little closer than Texarkana.” (Dallas, fwiw, is about 275 miles/450km from Fort Smith.)

So the dad in this story drove at least SEVEN HOURS round trip, to pick up a bushel of plums for his little girl, in the hope that some almost-out-of-season fruit would convince her to go on living.

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toskarin

medieval peasant: I see... so, it is the case that there are many paintings within this magical book? it is not so strange after all.

me, trying to show him tumblr to scare him: I was kind of hoping this would be a bit more confusing to you

peasant, suddenly pointing at the screen: hark! cynocephali

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katbery
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ech0light

"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet

Frankenstein's monster

joe biden

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telaraneas

yknow one thing that imo is fundamental to jake as a character and which i dont see people talk THAT much about (maybe im just not looking in the right places idk) is how the entirety of his character and the way he's written snaps into place when you realize he's basically a Token Female Character, except a guy

like, he's THEORETICALLY a very competent and badass guy in his own right, fighting off monsters on the daily and dual wielding guns and whathave you, but the comic never really affords him any meaningful sense of actually BEING badass; it's mostly just informed attributes, the notion that this character isn't just a helpless damsel because technically he's just as competent as the others...! but he never actually IS.

and instead, all plotlines involving him end up inevitably revolving around romance and Will They Or Wont They and everyone crushing on him despite the work never bothering to really establish WHY everyone is into him, because... i mean, he's the Token Team Girl, of course he's attractive, what else would he be for?

This is kicked into overdrive after the god tiers: Jake gets a noticeably skimpier outfit compared to all his peers, for absolutely no reason; he gets kidnapped and damseled by Jane, explicitly for his good looks, and sentenced to a fate of standing around in sexy clothes as the villain's husband. Even his powers are a very tied to common tropes of tragic female characters who supposedly wield great power, but are never empowered as characters by it; instead, Jake's ~amazing unstoppable hope powers~ are utilized by others through him, reinforcing his role as a sexy lamp macguffin rather than a character with agency: you could replace Jake's entire role throughout most of that sequence with, like, a magical necklace everyone really wants, and very little would actually change.

I find this fascinating because while I've seen a couple of instances of characters who are supposed to be a subversion/gender flip of the typical badly written female character tropes, Jake feels like the one instance where the story really commits to the bit, showcasing the exact glaring flaws of this type of writing and how it impacts the character, and pointing out the dissonance between the character the story SAYS it's presenting, and the character it's ACTUALLY presenting... and Jake himself is aware of this dissonance.

I even believe that the reason he's Like That as a character in the alpha universe is because of the way he was originally presented in the beta timeline. Like, the alpha kids are all very much examinations of the guardians and their relationships with the beta kids. the struggle of communication between rose and roxy and the isolation caused by it, the twisted imageboard culture reflected in dave and dirk's home life, etc

but in the case of grandpa harley... the guy is ENTIRELY informed attributes. he is a literal inanimate object, long dead- and yet he seems to hold the exact same presence in jade's life as he would when he was alive. he is, in a more literal sense than the other guardians, defined entirely by the reading of their relationship jade formed, her IDEA of what her grandpa was like, and the original signified object behind those signifiers is absent, no longer necessary in the equation.

what better way to translate this dynamic, the literal objectification of a character whose influence is limited entirely to other people's idea of them, than to write him as a Token Female Team Member?

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