WHO OF US IS:

Older? yours/mine Taller? yours/mine Richer? yours/mine Neater? yours/mine Nicer? yours/mine Smarter? yours/mine Funnier? yours/mine

Who is a better friend? yours/mine Who lies the most? yours/mine Who swears the most? yours/mine Who reads more? yours/mine Who is more creative? yours/mine Who is more troubled? yours/mine Who has better morals? yours/mine

❛❛ All I want for Christmas is peace & quiet. ❜❜ ❛❛ If mistletoe appears in my one-meter vicinity, I’ll burn it. ❜❜ ❛❛ So - what are you getting me for Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ What do you mean, Santa isn’t real? ❜❜ ❛❛ The only thing I like about Christmas is to get drunk on eggnog & wine, & sulk over my year’s regrets. ❜❜  ❛❛ You always give the best presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me get a picture of this for the memories. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas party at your house! ❜❜ ❛❛ I swear to god, if you give me a ‘dick-in-a-box’ for Christmas again- ❜❜ ❛❛ It’s snowing! ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals fun times. ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals broken bones. ❜❜ ❛❛ Please stop saying ‘Christmas is coming’ in Stark’s voice. ❜❜  ❛❛ Are you really setting traps for Santa — ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Don’t eat the cookies & milk I’m leaving on the table, unless your name is Santa. ❜❜ ❛❛ Ah yes, the age-old tradition of an obese old man dressed in a red suit - breaking into your house. ❜❜ ❛❛ Wanna help with the pudding? ❜❜ ❛❛ Help me decorate the Christmas tree. ❜❜ ❛❛ You’re really - enthusiastic - with the decorations. ❜❜   ❛❛ I knitted a sweater for you. Here, wear it. ❜❜ ❛❛ What did you use to knit the sweater? Two left-hands & parental guidance from a hamster? ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you coming to the Christmas party? ❜❜ ❛❛ How did you get tangled in all these fairy lights – ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me help with the gift-wrapping. ❜❜ ❛❛ Remember when you caught on fire last year? ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh no - no - you stay away from the alcohol. ❜❜ ❛❛ Stop telling me lies about Santa & his tiny elves. ❜❜  ❛❛ Oh shit, I forgot to buy the presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you telling me you don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? ❜❜ ❛❛ Is this what you do every Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ Come on! Live a little - find true love - piss in the snow! It’s Christmas. ❜❜         ❛❛ It may be Christmas, but that’s still illegal. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas is just another day. What’s the big deal? ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas should be six months long - not one. ❜❜     

and i’ll generate a number 1-45 for a question my muse will ask yours. angst, fluff, smut, humor, etc.

• Are you an interior  decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
• Did  you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
• Do  you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
• If  I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit longer.
• If you were a  vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
• There  are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have ever been in your arms.
• Are  you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
• Are  you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I should take you out.
• I  was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
• I’m  not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.
• Can  I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
• Your  body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.
• My  doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.
• Can  I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
• If  I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
• Smoking  is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!
• You  must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
• Do  you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!
• You  know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
• If  I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?
• Are  you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
• I  bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
• I  like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?
• Would  you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
• There’s  only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
• Did  you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
• Can  I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!
• I’m  no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
• Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
• Do  you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• You  see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.
• Can  I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
• Are  you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.
• Are  you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect
• You  know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.
• My  lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
• I  have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
• Hey baby, I must be a  light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
• Do  I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
• Have  you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
• Was  your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
• Apart  from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
• Is  it hot in here or is it just you?
• I  blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!
• You’re  single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.
• Stop,  drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
• Baby,  you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
• I  hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!
• I  just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
• If  you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.
• Your  hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
• You’re  so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
• Is  your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.
• I’m  lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?
• It’s  a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.