y’all my friend decided to investigate what was blocking their drain system and you are not prepared for the answer

pov: avatar aang has just misled you. pranked you. because he loves his wife too much

one of the chocolate guys videos appears on your dash. you pause your scrolling to watch it, trying to guess what he’s making because this doesn’t seem to be one you’ve seen before. as the video goes on you get more unnerved and impressed — he seems to be making a whole human being this time, and it’s uncannily realistic. it’s even filled with candied fruit and sweet pastries in place of organs, red velvet cake and a cherry reduction making up flesh and blood beneath the chocolate. but something feels off. the person he’s making seems strangely familiar. upon the final reveal, you know why. amaury guichon has created a perfect replica of you

Crowley sprawled out on a couch bathing under a heat lamp…an essential component of proper snake care.

This piece was a commission from the wonderful @alphacentaurinebula for their friend @fellshish ‘s amazing and hilarious fic, Empirical study on the principles of snake care for Fells’ birthday! It was a lot of fun to work on, happy birthday my friend!

Every trip to the DC National Airport feels like you’re in one of the satirical ads in Robocop

Do not leave this in the fucking tags op

I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."

bitch on fries? that lil white thang?

The very same.

The people who police your gender will police your gender even if you're cis.

Eat them.

"OH those body builder women with pancake breasts arent-" eat them.

"This woman has a beard, thats not-" eat them.

"That man has a baby face, that's not" - eat them with barbecue sauce.

Eat them. You will never be gender enough for their definition of gender. Eat them.

cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

"The gang are all here 🤩" - may 25, 2024 📷 @.f1 / instagram

in his defence your honour, he was feeling extra silly that day

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

22. 1941

Crowley's gonna need some of that Pink Elephant Juice to cope with Bambi

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

This is galaxy brain thinking

Depression comic