ugh.

Joel: It’s best if we keep our pasts to ourselves 😠

Ellie: okay

Joel: So anyway my brother was in Desert Storm because he just couldn’t help being a hero and then he joined the Fireflies for the same reason what a fucking dweeb you know, also me and Tess and Tommy used to ambush people and it’s clearly deeply painful for me to recall but oh well—oh hey when you said it wasn’t your first time hurting someone like that what did u mean that’s wild do you wanna talk about it ):

Ellie: 👁️👄👁️

i really admire how much of a HATER joel miller is. he hates on everything and everyone. if there's an opportunity for him to be a hater, he'll take it. no questions asked. there's ZERO hesitation. he doesn't even TRY to control the impulse to hate. and you know what? i get him.

going through the horrors (sunday evening)

happy 10 years of stylish but illegal monkey

Love that doctor who plot that was like everyone is stuck in traffic for years and also there’s giant crabs

thank you for your service twitter

im gonna throw up

so I got new hearing aids that can sync with bluetooth devices which is great because I can enjoy music again but like all bluetooth it’s kind of buggy and sometimes I’m in the middle of a conversation when suddenly one of my devices connects so what I’m saying is the PS5 is very real and it can speak to me from inside my brain

Once during a dinner out my mom kept asking us “what’s that sound” and we couldn’t hear anything, only later did we figure out my sister had connected her phone to my moms Bluetooth hearing aids and was intermittently playing farm animal noises.

Nice.

they died doing what they loved

Another unfortunate banger from Ben Shapiro's Twitter today

you fucking bet it does

Finally, a hotel that understands color theory

Once again we bring you Tumblr’s One Joke

In our defense it's a good joke

trying to spell necessary like

no but actually. so many people revealed who they are during the trial and they’re going to blame it on misinformation but i could be sitting in plato’s fucking cave and I still wouldn’t be doing a tik tok dance to someone’s SA testimony. like that’s not misinformation that’s just being rotten to your core