I Have a Thing To Talk About.

Someone remind me to talk about this thing when I get off the ambulance rotation. I’m on until Monday morning at 0500. I’m not even kidding. If those two other things that got me so much attention got so many notes, wait until you hear what I have to say. You will cry, you will smile. Some will hate me for it, but it needs saying. Immediately.

The Final Solution

Yes, I know...terrible thing, I hate even more that I’ve given this plan that name, but...it’s a true statement. Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with a lot of bullshit going on. Lots of things in my personal life that have utterly weighed me down. And after talking to people, I’ve formulated a solution to this all.

Let me start off with: I appreciate those of you who have helped. I do. You might not realize it, but a lot of the things you’ve said have generated enough thought processes for me to finalize the issues I’m dealing with. I get what you’ve all told me, and I’m going to take the best route possible to facilitate my getting better.

I am Rapid Rescue. For eight years, I have toiled as an Emergency Medical Technician in the state of Maryland. And no, Circle of Risk, per COMAR Subtitle 30 entitled MIEMSS (Maryland Institute of Emergency Medical Systems and Services; IE the Emergency Medical Service regulation committee of the State of Maryland), and by Maryland Law 5-309; Courts and Judicial Proceedings § 5-309, I have a duty to act in my state to the capacity I was trained in. Private or public property. It would’ve helped if you actually read and understood those laws, affiliated yourself with the local municipality, or understood the full Scope of Practice that I am authorized to render while in my state. Not worked against me because of patches.

I am in pain. I am in excruciating pain. And those who have worked with me to help me through those times realize it. The suggestion came up to step away from all online proceedings to stop facilitating it all...and I like that suggestion a lot.

You see, online is where I do my best to keep in contact with people because I don’t really have many around me in the real world to do this with. Those that are around me aren’t of the greatest moral fiber. My job being what it is, working solidly for a week with a solid week off following hasn’t helped breed a good social life either. So, I’m stuck whatever way I look.

The long and short of it is that I will be disappearing. The Rapid Rescue that everyone once knew is going to be leaving soon. And no, there’s no point in crying about it now. It’s too late. There were plenty of times I could’ve been contacted, but either someone was too busy, too arrogant, or didn’t care to communicate at all. Sure, there was a time when my heart wasn’t so broken and so callous. But over time, I have found people quite unwilling to work with me insomuch as against me for how I feel and how I react.

Therefore, I am resigning myself. I’m sorry. I tried my damnedest to keep being the Rapid Rescue that people knew and loved...but given the attitudes and reactions of the general scope of people I loved and befriended, it seems that’s not something I can do.

With that, I bid you all farewell. Enjoy your lives, do unto others, yadda yadda words.

-RR

Scathing, Angry Post

I don’t care who you are, what you do, and what you think you do: it doesn’t matter how you feel about people; being hateful toward them is being hateful toward them.

Granted, I have not posted here in a long while. And that’s for a reason. I used to think that I could share the portions of me that were messed up with Tumblr and it could help others understand me. I was wrong.

You see, Tumblr fanatics, it didn’t matter if I went to conventions, did right by my now ex-girlfriend, et cetera...I have been utterly harmed in the past year. Through no fault of my own, I watched yet another relationship form with trust, love, et cetera...and watched that all burn to ash as I was cheated on, emotionally harmed, and worst of all, never apologized to.

Rapid Rescue is not out to get you; but Rapid realizes the world is out to harm him. It’s a sad, sad truth that I’m living with more and more these days. In talking to counselors and therapists, the result is always the same: my view of the world and the negativity in it is returning me to the Rapid of pre-BronyCon 2013. That awkward, emotionally-unstable, and fearful shell of a man. I thought I was doing okay after that event: I found myself someone and fell in love. But as I found post BronyCon 2014: love is not only fickle, but it only arises when others need you.

You see kids, the world only values you when you have use to them. I was an emotional block for a lot of people. Rapid Rescue was a beloved person. Coming into going as an attendee at BronyCon 2015? I found that I was utterly useless for much more than being yelled at, berated, and hurt further. Most of those people I work with had no idea of the emotional turmoil I was going through, minus say...dispatchrabbi.

The people I roomed with, as well.

You see, kids, I’m not doing well. Not at all. I watched the woman I loved and her kid move past me within a matter of weeks after our breakup. Now I’m watching as her ‘lover’ breaks her and she finds that my warnings weren’t just for show.

In the end, I’m watching as a good majority of my friends turn their backs on me. I’m watching what good life I had fall apart.

...in short, welcome to the end of the caring, loving pony you once knew as Rapid Rescue. You bastards wanted it, and it’s happening. It’s over. Friendship, Loyalty, Laughter, Kindness, Honesty, Generosity...they used to come natural to me. But those days are gone.

Instead, welcome to the new age. The age of Rapid no longer caring and hating himself.

In the end, you got what you wanted. I hope you’re proud.