im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. and i want to be set loose.

​the energy of this post is dark and mysterious

Peter Parker: *disintegrates*

The frog that was in his mouth:

i keep calling simon a dumb bitch for not realizing bram liked him when meanwhile a girl could literally tell me she’s in love with me and i’d be like platonically? you mean platonically? is that platonic? are you gay?

simon when bram shows up at the ferris wheel: i’m kind of waiting for someone

me in the theatre pretending i’m not JUST as stupid: simon you fucking buffoon. you imbecile.

the ultimate gay joke is saying ‘lets get married’ to a fellow gay for fun but also 100% meaning it

joking and meaning it at the same time is gay culture

AND HERE WE HAVE MY BIGGEST FUCKING PET PEEVE

Alternatively: “well now I feel bad because you said that”

//screams for years

abusive parent voice: its always in your best interest

The awkward “I don’t want to annoy you but I really like talking to you” stage.

This isn’t a stage, it’s a lifestyle.

current mood: that ridiculous scream r2d2 does when something shitty happens to him

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

all the alexa/google home shit feels like a dystopian nightmare and everytime someone mentions having one in their home i have a sudden urge to break into thier house and destroy it

its 2018 and were wiretapping ourselves

listen we are already living a dystopian future and ur phone is always listening to you as well so im at least gonna get one of my wiretaps to tell me the weather and turn off the lights for me

if you’re nonbinary and are just dumb as fuck slap that rb button

you know, i’m willing to say that imagine dragon’s radioactive is a legitimate banger, however, no part of me will ever be able to defend that stupid ‘breathing in the chemicals’ sound, ever

I’m breathing in…

the chemicals

GHKKUHHHHh

AHhhh

me reading Shakespeare and understanding maybe 0.2% of it:

I just realised where Kylo got his name from:

Ky = sKYwalker

Lo = soLO

Ren = literally just his birth name with an R

which means that when he was choosing his super scary Dark Lord name, he just mashed up the surnames of the most positive figures in his life. poor sod can’t even evil right

literally a ‘what is your star wars name’ meme

2nd two letters of your mother’s last name Last two letters of your father’s last name

1st three letters of your name but with an R

@ people who think i’m attractive: thanks for having low standards