An open letter… (trigger warning)
Hi guys! It’s Mia… At the begging of last summer I was happy and excited to finally get out of school. I went on a vacation with who I thought was my “best friend”. I’d known her since I was 5 and danced with her since I was 6. She was the one person who I thought would always be there for me but in a strange line of events I came out as bisexual to most of my friends and my “best friend” seemed to be the only one that had a problem with it. I knew that she was lowkey homophobic based on comments she’d made growing up and I expected there to be some backlash. However I could’ve never anticipated her using my sexuality against me and turning it into a joke by trying to sexually harassing/assualting me onmultiple occasions. But she did. One minute she’d say she was straight and the next she’d grope my boobs or send me a dirty text telling me she wanted me and then get confused when I didn’t like it and would push her away. Her excuse was that I liked girls… so obviously I liked her. She was wrong. It happens a handful of times over summer. she’d do something sexual towards me, I’d say I was uncomfortable with it, she’d apologize, I’d forgive her, and then it’d repeat. In the midst of this my anaorexia got worse again. I stopped eating as much and started starving myself again and I lost 15 pounds… in 3 months… by the time fall came along I was tired and always stressed about how I could ignore my “best friend” without her thinking I was ignoring her. Eventually we had a very, very public fight where I called her out on not respecting someone else’s personal space and people’s consent to what other people can and cannot do to them, in regards to our other friend. We both knew we were really arguing about each other. So I stopped. I stopped caring and I just cried for along time in a parking lot. Eventually my brother came and took me to tacobell with his friends and for a moment i felt happy. That’s when I realized I didn’t need her in my life. She wasn’t giving me anything besides stress, anger and sadness. I felt broken like I had nothing to offer the world and like my life had no meaning. The following morning I decided to stop dancing at my studio and vowed that I would never speak to my “ best friend” ever again. And that’s what I did. I ignored every call and text and just left without a word. I stopped communication with everyone I knew That knew my “best friend” except for the 3 people that knew what was happening prior to our fight. I logged off Instagram, snapchat, tumblr, you name it, any type of social media platform I deleted from my phone. I focused on school and hanging out with some of my old friends outside of dance. I started dating the cutest boy in the world (our 6 months is in 4 days!!!!), fell in love and had some great experiences… I went on a road trip and saw many places I never imagined I’d see. I hiked at the Grand Canyon, had fun at the arches national park in Utah, went to Colorado and made way to many jokes about weed, but most importantly I lived. I’m in the happiest place I’ve ever been. I’m graduating high school 2 years early and have a great cosmetology school picked out for the fall. I wake up to goodmorning texts and fall asleep to goodnight texts everyday from my boyfriend. I hang out with my friends and feel wanted by them. They make me feel happy and like I’m apart of some big ol family. I still have problems with my ed every now and again but my friends are supportive of me and help me through it. So I write this laying in my cousins bed, On a trip visiting my relatives with not a care in the world. That you can do it. No matter what happens you can do it. You can be happy again. I came from the lowest I’ve ever been to the nearly the best and I’m proud of myself. I’m proud that I’m happy again. I still have some growing to do but I’m happy. I guess this is a sort of explanation as to why I haven’t been on tumblr in so long, because I think you guys deserve to know. Anyways toodles✌️
