“First up, from the Women’s Issues club, we have Peter and Zeke.”

• White Kid: *sighs while reading about imperialism* “white people ruin everything”
• “I go home and try to do my homework but oops I left my motivation at school”
• Random Guy: *runs down hallway* “raise your hands if you want to die!” *everybody raises their hands*
• “WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF THE PRE-TEST PRAYER CIRCLE?” “I’m Buddhist but can I?” *clears throat* “DEAR GOD, OR WHATEVER ELSE-”
• “is the test hard?” “if you didn’t study” *high-pitched hysterical screaming*
• “hey did you do the-” “No”
• *looks down at test, looks up at ceiling, waves arms desperately*
• “I’M GONNA WING IT!” “but-” “I’M GONNA WING IT!”
• “that’s not the right-” “it’s fine” “but you just need to-” “it’s fine”
• *while taking a test* “Does anybody have a crayon I can borrow?”
• “Can I just drop out?” “And do what?” “I dunno dude hitchhiking seems fun”
• *drinks aggressively from water bottle* I WISH THIS WAS ALCOHOL
• “What do you want?” “I’ll pay you a dollar for your lunch”
• *rolls down hallway in a swivel chair, calmly sips Coca Cola*
• *frantically searches through binder, pulls out a crumpled packet, makes the sign of the cross*
• “when is this due?” “on february 10″ “i’ll start it february 9″
• *slowly sinks to the floor* “I just need a nap. A nice, long, nap.”
• “What time did you go to sleep?” “You don’t want to know”
• “You can’t paint on glass, though” “Not with that attitude”
• “I will pay you $5 to do my homework” “That’s awful! I need at least forty”