Dear @marshmallowprotection wrote something about my last Instagram’s caption. So I really wanted to share it because I cried about it and still cry. It’s about V trying to heal after everything. Thinking about his mum, the RFA, Rika, you.
⚠️ Can contain Saeran’s AE spoiler
« There was no place for him in their lives anymore. He had to accept that. They may never want to see him or think of him ever again. But, that was their choice. He respected it. He learned a lot in his time knowing you and knowing Saeran. Learning that his choice to protect someone that truly needed to admit she needed help, rather then hiding her from her shame...
You could love someone, but his mistake had been loving the idea of Rika so much that he would do anything to protect her from harm, from herself, and from the rest of the world. It drove him to do horrid things, in the guise of trying to protect her and protect the twins. However, it had been his cowardice. It had been his fear of what could come.
It kept compounding... his problems. ||It started with the accident. It started when he witnessed Rika blackout in a cold sweat and kill someone in self-defense. He was frozen, young, and so very scared of what could happen to himself, her, and then Saeran. Perhaps, that had been the problem in the first place. His first concern was Rika's safety. Perhaps, that was why his mistakes kept coming.
Either way, he could not change the past. Saeran told him that. You taught him that. The only choice was to go forward and make something of his life. It ached and it hurt, but he was working on trying to forgive himself. That day may never come, but... he's decided that this is the best way for him. He left the country, and he told himself not to look back.
But he kept checking on all of them.
He kept making sure that Jumin was okay in his new position, that Zen was following his dreams as he wanted, that Yoosung was trying to find the true self he lost, that Jaehee was following her heart and standing her ground, that Saeyoung was at peace and able to complete his wish, and that Saeran and you were happy, protected, and safe.
Would she still try to believe in him even though he kept pushing her away?
It made the burns on his back seer even hotter. He took in a breath, and remember to count to ten as those numb feelings fluttered inside of him. Jihyun was as far from Seoul as he could be now, and yet, it felt like a piece of his heart would always be there... beyond his reach and unable for him to ever get it back.
A price of his actions, he knew.
He was alone.
He was tired.
But, he had to try.
Saeran looked at him and said that he was prepared to die if it came down to it. He would've stood there nobly and let it happen. He chose to be kind and forgiving to people who did not deserve that treatment, even through there was a fire in his heart that would not die. He chose to be better, in a sea of pain. Jihyun wanted to be better.
He truly, sincerely wanted to be better... not to prove something to them. That bridge was burned, but he wanted to prove to himself that he could be happy and free just as he had seen Saeran. You always tried to give him a chance to do the right thing, and as much as he wished that he could be able to change it, he knew that he couldn't.
The Paris life hummed behind him in the background as he stared at his canvas. A painting coming together of a couple... undaunted and true. »