clinically fucking unhinged

bees?

[ID: a BBC news headline with a picture of a young girl looking at a man-made beehive. the title reads, "A little girl said monsters were in her bedroom. It was 60,000 bees". End ID]

you would not believe your knees

if 60,000 bees

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

oh, Sisyphus! i got you

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

yet another massive w for water, the greatest fluid in the universe

nothing makes me feel more well adjusted than hearing about the problems that straight people in the periphery of my life are always having

my aunt's new guy broke into my ex uncle's garage and filled his bowling balls with caulk

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

thank you wikipedia for this really good image

a helpful mnemonic for everyone

This is making me cry

It’s like it’s physically fighting her-

and she is losing in the most horrific way possible

It’s a straight up one sided smack down, first time it’s like it punched her and is throwing her about and then she’s just crying on the floor, second time it’s like she’s getting fucking choked by an invisible force

This is straight up like if an invisible man was abusing her

WHY DID SHE GO BACK FOR SECONDS

I will be honest if someone posted "I'm a tutor and everyday I watch zoomers try to double tap on books to open them" thousands of you would reblog it and tag "😱 it's so scary that this is what all kids today are really like they're so helpless and stupid omg!!! those damn kids need to get off their phones!!!!"

things a concerning amount of people aged 25-40 on this site believe about today's children:

Gentle note from a 33 year old just to hammer the point home: hey, this all sounds exactly like the bullshit they used to say about us as kids! Funny thing, that.

When we were the youth being targeted with these statements, we promised we'd remember how that felt when we were the people who could do it to the new generation - we can't forget that promise

It's been incredible to behold how quickly my fellow Millennials have embraced all of the exact same bullshit opinions we used to excoriate boomers for.

ive never seen ingredient presentation likethis

we need to bring back inviting people over for cake and coffee. my grandma used to do that all the time and I think it's a lost art

based firemen

you sign up for the job because you want to save lives, and sometimes you get a chance to just be really, really, clear about "yes it is my job to save lives, there is an obstacle, and i am paid to use an axe to solve this problem"

@notajerusalemcricket

Yes! Please keep your snails safe! (I would like to note that in my experience, some snails are too big to retract enough to stop sticking to the ground. However, take that with a grain of salt)

Keep that grain of salt away from the snails, you monster!!

oh my God i amnso sorry,,

im really into romantic friendships, but specifically ones where the lines are already so blurred & yet the concept of romance hangs like a guillotine over both heads

ppl tagging this with ‘no this sucks its toxic as hell’ well yeah duh we’re not on the well-adjusted healthy relationship website. grow up

please don't hand me the aux unless you want everyone in this car to know there's something wrong with me

@josiah-glacier that’s too good to keep in the comments

ADD IT TO THE BADASS QUOTE LIST

*scrimbling in on no sleep clad in pajama pants and a poet’s shirt tucked into a hot topic waist cincher

IM HERE IM HERE HANG ON

I GOT IT

So Elon killed- hold on

Is at definite risk of killing a guy