odi et amo

@fleursdesmorts / fleursdesmorts.tumblr.com

Georgia || 25 || they/he || writer
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shvkespearc

so LOL my new job completely fucked me over and scammed me by telling me i'd work 20 hours a week immediately, then saying they won't have proper availability for a few more weeks, now saying they can barely give me hours at all, IF ANY, for the foreseeable future.

well my life goes on and continues to include expenses even as i try to apply for new jobs

in the meantime well my poetry books are still for sale!

you can get them for as little as 1 dollar or customize the amount to anything! PLEASE THEYRE NOT BAD- (INSERT REVIEWS HERE) the site is perfectly safe to buy from and v easy!

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89words
She practiced her sadism on me with calm ferocity. Sometimes I can sense such things. Yet even though perceiving them, I often resign myself, as if the person who wishes to cause me suffering needs to see me suffer.

Clarice Lispector - 'Torture And Glory: Selected Cronicas'

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ilvalentinos
Anonymous asked:

was there really incest between cesare and lucrezia borgia or is it something that the writers of the show made up?

LOL, anon, buckle in.

  • okay, so obviously even in history there’s something iffy about the two of them. i’m not going to say that they WERE physically incestuous, per se, cos there’s nothing in history of note to support that. however, there are obvious and very very deep feelings on both their parts for each other, even until the end.
  • one thing that’s obvious from the historical record is that cesare loved lucrezia best. out of his family, out of rodrigo and vanozza and juan, even above himself, in a lot of ways. juan he got rid of without much hassle (totally buying into the fact that he killed juan. yep. that happened. cesare borgia, ladies and gentlemen) and rodrigo, near the end, he was pretty okay with bleeding dry and leaving in rome at the height of his powers, surrounded by enemies. but lucrezia, oh god lucrezia.
  • i think it’s important to note that the first person who said that lucrezia was sleeping with her father and brother was giovanni sforza. who in history was probably not as bad as the show portrayed, but was pretty ineffectual and easily intimidated by cesare - so much that he fled rome. and then, of course, we have to think about WHY cesare felt the need to intimidate a bridegroom that his father thought was politically helpful to the borgia cause ;) - and later had to sign an agreement to annul his marriage on grounds of impotency. for the whole of italy to laugh at. and this trend is pretty much seen all through out their history - enemies accusing them of sleeping with each other, of shit like banquet of the chestnuts, of mass orgies and then failing to bring up the fact that there was a dude recieving ambassadors while being in bed with his sister and another dude accused of sleeping with his daughter and son. damn, renaissance italy. you scary.
  • that said, there was something that was off about the way cesare felt about lucrezia. there was a hint of the improper in how he felt about her. in history, cesare borgia was a sociopath. like, legit. machiavelli more or less said so in his man crush manifesto. he was actually incapable of having deep and meaningful relationships with anyone or having profound affection for anyone, even his father and brothers, except for lucrezia. she was actually the exception to his every rule. he loved her, and that love never faded, nor hers for him. he murdered her second husband, alfonso, a dude that she legit loved, a dude who legit could actually measure up to cesare in the ways that he always meant to her. he was a prince, better in nobility than either of the two of them, actually, could probably recite the poetry that cesare knew, know the art that cesare knows, understand what it is to fight for his birthright the way cesare knows. alfonso, in a lot of ways, was probably the foil as well as the antithesis of cesare.
  • and he killed him.
  • cesare killed alfonso.
  • lucrezia mourned. she went to her nunnery in nepi and stayed there for months, until one day, rodrigo got pissed that she was ‘making such a big deal of it’ (lol you TROLL) and told cesare to go get her back cos he was bored.
  • and he got her back.
  • cesare had killed her beloved husband, and she still went back to him. she still went back to him, and in a lot of ways, you never saw her bring this up ever again. that rift disappeared, like it had never happened, and that is blood, blood and not water.
  • also in actual history: he turned an entire army around for her.
  • this was years later. after alfonso. after cesare’s marriage. and lucrezia was now married to her third husband, also called alfonso. she was sick after giving birth and cesare was hounded on all sides by french demands and those goddamned orsini brothers and rebellious romagna cities, and he turned an army around for her. he literally just up and left, so that he could go to ferrara and hold her foot and make her laugh for a few hours before he left again. and by the accounts of that event, the ‘duke was the only one to make her laugh’, and persuaded her to let them bleed her. and this, let’s remember, is a man who is persistent and determined, by whichever means necessary to gain a fortune for himself, a kingdom by the time he was 31, because he knew he was going to die young. and time, to him was the most precious thing. and he spent it on his sister at a critical time in his career, where he could fail spectacularly, and he took the time out for her.
  • i don’t personally believe it was physical incest, and i’m sure that sara bradford coined the phrase ‘emotional incest’? there was obviously feelings there that went beyond what is normal, but whether they ever acted on it, i don’t think they did.
  • another point:
  • after cesare’s death, his sword emblazoned with spqr (ALL MY ROMAN PARALLEL FEELINGS) was sent to lucrezia, and she literally barred herself in her room after proclaiming that the ‘more i adhere to god, the more he tries me’. and for days later they could hear her calling his name in her room.
  • so.
  • um.
  • oh god. tears.
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milksockets

'homage to motherhood: the music of life' by kerry mcaleer-keeler, 2004 in the book as art: artists' books from the national museum of women in the arts - krystyna wasserman (2011)

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