maybe im a stupid asshole but one of my biggest tumblr pet peeves is when i see a popular post that DEFINITELY got posted to r/curatedtumblr or put in a funniest tumblr posts video or whatever and the post is the 3 or 4 original reblogs that make up the og post and then like 25 reblogs in a row of different people all saying some variation of "I CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY FOUND IT" or mentioning hellsite-hall-of-fame or something
this is so valid but iโm so sorry, we (the tumblr masses) could do the funniest thing here
Oh my god I finally found the post
IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS
IT'S IN MY DASH?????? SUCH A HONOUR
I'VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS ON PINTEREST OR INSTAGRAM
Wait did fame @ themselves
yes, yes I did
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horsesโ tails to stir up dust and make it look like thereโs a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isnโt any dust and the enemy can clearly see thereโs like twenty of us all spread out in a line
second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isnโt misdirected at all
third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldnโt decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below
fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy heโs fighting have really similar names and itโs finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now weโre stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?
fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and iโm pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lordโs wife and leaves
sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city heโs taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it
seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out heโs actually a pretty cool guy, and he isnโt even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but iโm really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him
eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord iโm worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night
ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that iโve suggested it heโs really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him
tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lordโs city i realize i wonโt be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lordโs head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lordโs camp he already would have. that doesnโt change the fact that my men are still trapped. theyโre prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk
eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lordโs room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. donโt ask what i was doing in my loser liege lordโs room. itโs not important
twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leaderโs second-in-command. ITโS THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORDโS WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says โwouldnโt you like to knowโ and leaves. i donโt know what to say to that so i just let him go
thirteenth day as a second century warlord iโm honestly so sick of not knowing whatโs going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the womenโs area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lordโs wife is. i ask her what sheโs doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leaderโs formationโs weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poemโs significance. she shares the first couplet with me but iโm discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesnโt need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, itโs the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme
fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesnโt trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if thatโs really true, because i canโt bear to live if i canโt protect him and i canโt protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader
fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and theyโd like to stay with him if i donโt mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i donโt tell them that
sixteenth day as a second century warlord iโm preparing to leave to i donโt know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where iโm going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me heโs truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horsesโ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why
Yeah Mr. Darcyโs proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And sheโs everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesnโt go out of her way to spend time with you but sheโs nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, itโs p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then youโre financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already youโre accepting that if all goes well, youโre gonna be one random old bagโs retirement home. Thatโs expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girlyโs other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably wonโt be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like itโs toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedoโing her entire familyโs reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. Sheโs never gonna work, she canโt build connections, sheโs a fucking sinkhole, and sheโs being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit whoโs been bleeding you dry while telling anyone whoโll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- youโve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW sheโs gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and itโs not like you can lock her in the basement or something, youโre gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. Sheโs not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And youโre looking at this girlโs father like โplease for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their rรฉsumรฉ, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the graveโ and that old man just laughs like โhaha yeah, what can you do. lolโ
So youโre looking to the mom and finally itโs making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is youโre starting to realize sheโs the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like theyโre a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it sheโs still the most radiant thing youโve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, youโll do it. Youโll shoot your shot. Sheโs everything youโve ever wanted in anybody abut itโs not even just about that anymore, itโs about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesnโt like you all that much sheโs still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing itโs about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesnโt LOVE you at least youโll know sheโs well and cared for
And so youโll do it. Youโll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, youโll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and youโll make your own family deal with it too, youโll do it, youโll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like โlook. Your whole familyโs a shitshow. Youโve got fucking nothing and youโre gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I donโt get it either- Iโve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didnโt, but I did, so Iโm telling you that whether you like me or not, Iโll give you everything. Iโll give you everything even if itโs the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, Iโll marry you.โ
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes โThe fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?โ
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that youโre supposed to do warm up sketches every time youโre about to work on serious art when youโre fuckin twenty-five
someone: oh yeah, do this exercise during your warm ups! itโll help
me: my what
Whatโs up I have an actual college degree in art and I was never ONCE taught to do warm ups.
when i was in undergrad, it was kind of mentioned in and offhand way that we should do warmups, but we were never shown what that meant. And, yโknow, we were young so it didnโt matter so much.
Being older now and having an art job itโsโฆkind of essential.
So: a quick primer for those of you who are like โok but how do i actually go about doing this warmup thing.โ
1) you may be tempted to do โa warmup drawingโ which is just a drawing that will take longer than it needed to and probably be frustrating and kind of bad because you didnโt warm up first. Itโs tempting but always a trick your brain is playing on you! Do not trust!
2) warmups will vary based on what feels good to you/what task youโre about to do/what motor skills you want to practice. That being said, some good standbys:
a) circles. Just a whole page of circles on whatever drawing surface youโre going to be using, whether thatโs your tablet or your sketchbook or a drawing pad on an easel. For these circles you should make sure that youโre drawing from your shoulder and not your wrist. In fact, you want to be drawing from your shoulder rather than your wrist most of the time! forever! your wrist is delicate please preserve it!
In order to ensure that youโre drawing from your shoulder, when youโre holding your pencil or whatever drawing tool youโre using, the only part of your hand that should be touching the drawing surface is part of the last two fingersโsome people prefer the finger tips, but I tend to favor the first knuckles. Either way, the fingers should really be ghosting over the surface, providing guidance rather than support.
I usually start with big circles and then go to smaller circles and lines of ellipses, and then try to fit circles and ellipses inside other shapes iโve already drawn as a precision exercise, but i donโt do that unless iโm feeling loose
b) spirals! i donโt always do spirals, but if iโm stiff and the circles just arenโt cutting it, spirals are a good fall back. I start from the center and work outward, going both clockwise and counterclockwise until i feel comfortable with the whole range of motion. Some people really care about getting perfect spirals but for me itโs all about making sure iโm comfortable with how iโm moving so who really even cares about how the spirals look. Not me!
c) lines! straight lines! in parallel! i do a mix of vertical, horizontal, and diagonal. These are often more from the elbow than the shoulder, especially if Iโm working on a smaller surface. For this exercise, I recommend holding the drawing tool perpendicular with the surface
d) connect the dots. This is a precision and accuracy exercise and takes two forms. The first is to draw two dots and then draw a straight line between them. The second is to draw three dots and draw the curve that connects them. This sounds a lot simpler than it is in practice. Take time to ghost over the line you plan to draw before actually committing to your line. (I donโt always remember where I picked up my warm up exercises, but Iโm pretty sure I got this one from Scott Robertson. His how to draw and how to render books are very technical but also accessible and worth checking out)
e) cubes, spheres, cones, and cylinders. These help get your brain into a more volumetric space. I draw multiples of each, rotating the forms around, and Iโll often take the time to do some rough shading on at least a few of them
f) spidermans! This one is really good if youโre going to be storyboarding or working on dynamic poses. Just fill a page full of spidermans doing all sorts of acrobatics.
g) beans. I donโt do beans too much anymore, but I know a lot of people like it so Iโm mentioning it here. Fill an area with different size bean shapes without lifting your pencil off the paper.
h) short medium and long line repetition. draw a short, medium, and long line on your page, and then draw directly on top of them 8 to 12 times, doing your best to exactly trace what youโve already drawing. Repeat with a wavy line. Iโm bad at this one, which means I probably need to do it more.
And there are lots more options too! Hit up youtube to see what other people recommend, put together your own go-to list, mix it up when youโre getting bored, etc.
This is a long list, I know, but I usually donโt take more than 10 to 15 minutes to warm up, and I can warm up one handed while Iโm drinking coffee, so, multitasking hurrah.
Sometimes Iโll advance to a precision warmup and find that I havenโt loosened up enough yet; itโs totally ok to go back to an earlier exercise! Also, all of this has the added benefit of kind of ritualistically getting you into the drawing mode so even if Iโm not feeling it before I start, by the time Iโve gotten to the end Iโm usually Ready For Drawinโ. Brain hacks.
so, yeah! thatโs a lot of words, but! Warmups are important! Save your joints, take less advil, do better drawings!
How on earth are you supposed to draw from a sholder? might as well tell me to draw from the foot. It makes no sense
Reblogging to save a wrist
Hi I have a literal animation degree and I learned fucking โจnoneโจ of this
So what Iโm hearing isโฆcircles. Circles everywhere.
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notesโฆ deactivated accountโฆ removed imageโฆ.
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OPโs name is justโฆ gone. No โ[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]โ as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world โdeactivated.โ Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
Itโll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.
so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.
It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.
Technically true.
He got the job.
He takes his job seriously.
Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click here)!
Go check it out and give them some support! :) (also the end killed me haha) โแขโข๏ปโขแขโ
The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, soโฆ
Wolf Hunter goes to the village markets.
Wolf Hunter and his conga line of sheep.
Wolf Hunter was looking for them for a while.