Sleep is not for the weak

I love making diaphonized specimen sets

You can buy my dice here

Obsessed with going "No... i shan't say..." when it's very clear what I shan't say

My conservative family members seeing me taking up embroidery:

One week later when I post the finished project:

I had to reblog this as soon as I stopped laughing

My sister did this. Only her masterpiece that my parents HATE is

Express yourself through handicrafts 😁

@alldudsnostuds

May I add:

and my mother's all-time least favorite that I have hanging in my bathroom:

today i experienced what was both a) a cartoon slapstick moment and b) a perfect encapsulation of what it is like to work in customer service. i was making an extra frothy cappuccino. it was going fine. i tried to put the lid on, but i must have squeezed the cup because it collapsed and the lid flew off and hit me in the eye and the cappuccino just fucking... exploded. it was on the walls, in my hair, on my coat, all over my face, even in my eyelashes. everywhere. carnage. and while the first customer was gasping in sympathy, and i was standing there completely shellshocked, looking like i'd just been custard-pied by a clown, a second customer walked up and without missing a beat said "hi can i get an oat flat white please"

artistic impression

is this relatable to everyone or just me

On a lighter + adjacent note i love dis tweet + these QRTs of it ^_^... literally...

yes hello i would like to emphasize this

disgust is not a moral issue

As someone around for 9-11 and the "NEVER FORGET NUMBER #1 GREATEST TRAGEDY EVER IN HISTURY" response to it I am in thrilled and invigorated by the fact that younger people just make amogus memes and TikTok nonsense about it. A huge chunk of America cared more about it than any entire genocide and thought you would cry learning about it. They hoped it'd make every generation patriotically angry forever and ever and want to join the military. Instead you Photoshop the towers into squidwards house and shit. Never stop lol

I’m physically unable to take 9/11 seriously, entirely because my grade 9 english teacher was bizarrely obsessed with it. We basically had an entire unit on 9/11. We watched that documentary from those students that were doing a documentary of firefighters and wound up getting the only footage of the first plane hitting. We did a novel study of a book about some kid being in one of the towers for take your kid to work day and him and his dad squeezing past the wreckage of the plane to escape in time. We watched that Nic Cage movie of him being a firefighter during 9/11 that gets stuck in an elevator shaft when the place collapses. I am dead fucking serious, we had to make up fictional people that died in the attack, write an obituary for our 9/11sona’s, and then write and deliver a eulogy as their grief-stricken parent. At one point in the unit the teacher clarified that she hadn’t personally lost anyone to the attack, nor was she anywhere near New York when it happened. She never bothered to ask if any of us had actually lost someone in the attack, which kind of seems like a thing you should do before making us invent fictional victims to give eulogies for. The unit began with her demanding to know where we all were on the day of the attack and what we remembered, and she started crying when we told her that 1. we were two years old at the time and couldn’t remember shit fuck, the closest thing was one of the older kids kind of thought they remembered being very confused at adults freaking out over the TV but that could have been literally anything, and so this meant that 2. we were the last class she would ever teach that could possibly remember 9/11. Probably didn’t help that someone pointed out that we were the class born in 1999, so in two years she’d have students that hadn’t even been born during 9/11. That may have contributed to the teacher crying over the whole thing.

We’re Canadian.

That last sentence KILLED me. Jesus fuck.

i love the old web i love the old web so fucking much i wanna kill algorithms and trackers and targeted ads i fucking hate the hellscape we live in now where every site has the same layout and the same "you can only edit ur icon, banner, and description" bs i hate that social media sites are literally built to be addicting i want to fucking kill mark zuckerberg for launching us into this shit

i see old web screenshots and i get violent sorry not sorry

like this isnt even just about social media. like even corporate websites like 20+ years ago were fucking distinct from each other. they all had their individual styles and stuff to actually do on them. like they were worth visiting in and of themselves

but now??? its all just the fuckin same shit

you tell me where one site ends and the next begins in these fucking screenshots. it's all the same. white background, banner with logo/product, 3 little lines at the top right of all the sites for the menu. it sucks. it just sucks so much man.

anyways everyone should make a neocities account and website. everyone should check out yesterweb.org and read their zines. everyone should learn how to surf the web.

im not saying yall have to quit social media right now cold turkey. i get it. it's hard when it's literally built to be addicting. im still trying to get off of twitter myself. but please just check out those links. you may find yourself a small respite that still exists from this late stage capitalism hellscape we find ourselves in.

if i think of baby swordfish again i’m gonna be sent into a coughing fit

best baby animal of all time. only the essentials (big funny snout)

THERES EVEN SMALLER ONES ARE YOU SERIOUS

fr tho imagine being this thing and you grow up into a beast that kills things with its nose what would you even do.

I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S THE GREAT GATSBY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

hold on

I'm working on it

wheres winnie the pooh

i wish not to expose him to the horrors of combat

it’s quite actually devastating that you rarely can get physical copies of concert tickets these days. it’s all digital like.. where is the commemorative piece of paper i held in my sweaty little hand all night that i get to bring home and stick in my keepsakes? we are losing some of societies greatest pillars