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PreSerum Steve: Am I going too far?
Bucky : No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
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Peter: can you please pass the salt, doctor?
Tony: you know you don’t have to call him doctor, Peter
Peter: oh I know just - I just ... respect him so much
Peter, to the camera: please someone remind me of his name this is getting so awkward.
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Jaskier: *watching Geralt sleep*
Jaskier: I just love him so much, he’s my everything.
Geralt: *starts snoring*
Jaskier: I can’t live like this
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Tony: Are you on drugs?
Peter: You and I both know that this job does not pay enough for me to have a drug problem.
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Harley: Peter stop playing your music so loud in the morning! It’s so inconsiderate of the people still trying to sleep!
Peter: I’m sorry! I’ll turn it down from now on
Harley, to the camera: his music doesn’t bother me at all; I only hear it when I walk past his door. I just don’t want him to have nice things.
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Tony: Who wants to make $100
Peter: How?
Tony: I need someone to take the fall
Pepper: [from the other room] Oh my god!
Harley: What did you do?!
Pepper: [from the other room] OH MY GOD!
Tony: I don’t have time for questions!
Peter: Make it $150
Tony: Deal
Tony: [grabs him by the collar] I GOT HIM HONEY
Tony: [whispering] I owe you big time
Tony: YOURE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE
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Peter: Did you know jellyfish have survived for 600,000 years without brains?
Loki: A ray of hope for my brother Thor.
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Steve: I can explain.
Bucky: Can you?
Steve: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
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Harley: You know what? I'm turning my phone into airplane mode.
Peter, scared: Oh my god. He doesn't even do that on planes.
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Steve : You often use humor to deflect trauma
Bucky: Thank you
Steve : I didn't say that was a good thing
Bucky: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
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Tony: Reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by The Avengers health plan.
Peter: ...Why does he always look at me when he says that?
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Stephen: I swear to God, the next one of you guys to say "weird flex but okay" is going to lose their kneecaps.
Peter: ...
Harley:...
Tony: Preposterous boast, but alas...
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Geralt: There's a contract about a vampire on some town's dilapidated castle, I'm off to go deal with it
Jaskier: Can I come along?
Geralt: No
Jaskier: Pretty please! I promise I'll behave
Geralt: Ugh fine
Jaskier: Yay! Thanks Geralt, you won't regret this
Jaskier while Geralt's trying to deal with the contract:
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Peter: I’m obligated to inform you that I’m trained in the ancient Chinese art of... origami!
Tony: Paper folding?
Peter: I was hoping you wouldn’t know what that was
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[Peter, in hospital for some reason]
Nurse: I'm sorry, only family can see him right now.
Tony: Bold of you to assume I won't illegally adopt him right now!
Happy: [nods while holding up adoption papers]
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Peter: My throat really hurts
Peter: It burns like it does when you eat Galaxy chocolate
Tony: Your throat isn’t supposed to burn after eating Galaxy chocolate
[later]
Tony: What did Bruce say?
Peter: I’m allergic to Galaxy chocolate