Catastrofeeling Myself

True and sincere answer to all of the people who ask, "I have just seen X animal, what does this mean?":

Rejoice, my friend, for this is a most auspicious sign! You have received one of the greatest blessings known to human kind: you live in a world full of creatures! Take comfort and enjoy this divine blessing.

#yeah but one time i saw 5 robins in a circle and thats gotta mean something

Oh shit, you saw the robin circle? That's not good.

remember. you can't know things you don't know. you have to find them out. by doing things.

this is a mantra against shame over ignorance btw. like yeah you can and should actively seek out knowledge but you're just still gonna have blind spots and that's okay. you won't know the things you don't know until you know them. you know?

i'm the punch wizard and i specialize in blunt force traumaturgy

I am conditional.

this is fucked up. can anyone do something about this?

pfffft, you call yourself a supervillain but you’re STILL using chrome? dumbass! everyone knows REAL evildoers switch to firefox!!

I already reblogged this post but this tag made me laugh for 10 minutes

i started doing things scared and doing things alone years ago the real challenge is doing things tired

I walked up to a restaurant entrance at the same time as this guy and he held the first door for me and then I held the second door for him and he said "we call that the Midwestern two-step" with a laugh and I've been thinking about it all day.

Grad school is lying to you. You can indulge fixations on obscure topics on your own time. You can sit in a library color-coding notes on articles printed from JSTOR for free. You can argue with dead philosophers in essay format whenever you like. Academia is a state of mind.

Listen if the study of ancient humans doesn’t make you at least a little bit emotional idk what to say.

I started crying today at the museum because they had reconstructed the shoes of Otzi the iceman.

Either he or someone he knew who cared about him made these shoes out of grass and bear skin and twine and he was wearing them when he died over five thousand years ago.

And a Czech researcher and his students did reconstructions of these shoes and wore them to the same place where he died to test them out and they were like yep! These shoes are really cozy and comfy and didn’t give us blisters while hiking!

Is that not just the coolest shit ever????

every antique store looks like this

[ID: a doodle of a cartoonishly convoluted building layout with lots of strangely shaped rooms, weird hallways, crevices, and dead ends. an X in the middle is labelled “the heart (several old people sitting around the checkout talking shit),” and a little appendage at the bottom is labelled “door.”]

sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared