i made a grindr and in under 24 hours i got the most insane unsolicited nude to ever exist. hes fully nude on the beach and in his right hand is a black tipped reef shark i could not make this shit up if i tried

artistic rendition

i fucking wish i had a way to prove this but a) passing around nudes is wrong even when its a 40 year old nudist shark freak and b) he unsent the messages bc my silence made him nervous ig. wish he was instead nervous about sharks around his panenis but im not his dad

btw another pic in the set he sent me was essentially the same photo but the shark was a fishing spear and his penis was erect this time. do you think he meant it as a metaphor thats kind of poignant symbolism

he looked almost regal in a florida man way

actually fuck do you guys think i ghosted Poseidon on grindr be honest its hurricane season and im on the gulf i mean did you SEE what that guy did to odysseus

Imagine fumbling a 40 year old nudist shark freak this bad

Why would you hide this in the tags?

enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

HELP

To this day, my favorite argument I ever had was with my Nascar-loving family about how a thin blue line flag on a Nascar is antithetical to the core tenets of Nascar. There is no organization more rooted in ACAB than Nascar. Literally, the only reason it exists was that a bunch of moonshining families had to build cars that could outrun the cops while on supply runs during the Prohibition Era. The goal was to make the car look like a regular vehicle so they could pick up supplies or drop off illegal alcohol without arousing suspicion. But if the cops were on you all you had to do was put the pedal to the metal and that little truck could outrun them with no problems. And of course, families would be in competition over who made the best alcohol, and whose car was fastest. So, they would have races on the weekends. When prohibition was lifted, the races continued. And that is why we have Nascar. It really frustrates me how people look at American car culture and scoff at it. Formula One racing is more exciting and more dynamic to watch, but the history of it is not as interesting: a bunch of rich assholes who made specialized cars for racing. And to this day, it is still a rich man's sport. Whereas Nascar was about a bunch of so-called hicks in the backwoods who used some basic hand tools and trial and error to make a junker into a racecar.

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

the theories get even more egregious during the imperial era, with people straight up thinking she joined the rebellion in secret and is loading her songs with subliminal rebel propaganda. their main piece of evidence for this is if you play a certain song backwards, it sounds like she’s saying “freedom” in shyriiwook. the fans get really defensive if you point out she’s performed at the yearly empire day celebration thrice now and her family historically owned ewok slaves

i regret to inform both you beautiful people that this isn’t going to go how you think it will

spiff fans (also known as “spiffies”) insist that the two decommissioned venator-class destroyers spiff purchased, the bad blood and the reputation, are for diplomatic purposes that benefit the rebellion. jedi’lors have concocted theories that she served on both ships during the clone wars and was respectful of every clone that served there, despite her courtship of a gravball player that thrice advocated against the clone veterans being granted natural citizenship

The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.

Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.

They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.

“Here’s your change, ma'am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.

“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”

“Yes.”

You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.

“Ma'am–no, ma'am, you have to take the dragon, too.”

“Sorry?”

The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”

They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.

The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.

“Have a nice day, ma'am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”

From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.

Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.

I’m in love.

Doorbell rang so my dad went off to get it, and when he came back and I asked who it was he just said "Ugh 😒 Just some Round Table nonsense" & I'm like "?????? Round Table as in King Arthur's Round Table??" "Yeah :/" The goddamn Knights Templar were at our front door and you just sent them away???

The trans-inclusive Knights Templar were at our front door and you just turned them away??

Many cats figure out pretty quickly that humans don't like dead mice as gifts, and then go through an extended process of trial and error trying to figure out what humans do like. Here we see Attempt# 47: Moss.

My boy used to bring me dead snakes (no venomous snakes in our area, don't worry) which made me rather upset because I love snakes and they were very good for our garden.

So whenever he brought me dead snakes, I would scold him.

And then he started bringing me *live snakes*

I am deeply appreciative of how much of a loser they made Astarion. Like he's sexy sure but the man doesn't have a single W to his name. He's been stuck in tunnels eating rats for years and his first time out and about he gets literally brainwormed and has to pull some Wil E. Coyote shit to team up with people. His whole menacing blood drinking schtick is immediately undercut by him being a massive virgin about the whole ordeal. In his centuries long flop era and trying so desperately to cover it up

Awww, poor big picture guy.

hwat do we think gamers. good fit or too early 2000s?

im going home to change immediately.

HWY ARE YOU GUYS STILL FUCKIGN SPREADING THIS. I DOTN LOOK LIKE THE ONCELER IM GOIGN TO CHOP UR DIKC OFF AND MAKE A SHITTY SECONDRATE NEW YORK HOT DOG WIHT IT. AND IT WONT SELL FOR ANYTHING HIGHER HTAN 50 CENTS. THAT'S HOW BAD YOUR DICK IS

I HOPE THE NEXT TIME YOU CATCH HTE BUS YOU CAN'T FIND THE CHANGE FOR A TICKET SO YOU JUST HAVE TO SIT HTERE AND HOLD EVERYONE UP AS YOU DIG IN YOURE FUCKIGN POCKETS FOR THE RIHGT AMOUNT OF MONEY. AND THEN THE BUS MOVES BEFORE YOU CAN SIT DOWN SO YOU STUMBLE A LITTLE ADN THE OLD MAN AT THE BACK LOOKS AT YOU JUDGEMENTALLY SO YOU HURRY TO FIDN A SEAT AND WHEN YOU SIT DOWN THERE'S GUM. ON IT. AND YOU HAVE TO WALK AROUND ALL DAY WITH FUCKIGN GUM ON YOUR ASS LIKE A LOSER and also your bus crashes

You look like a combination ofthese 2.

Op you look like a humanized twink version of bill cipher i would've drawn in middle school but red themed

If alastor was an emo 2000s kid

"Ah geez, the beatles-themed casual beach orgy starts starts in ten minutes and I have nothing to wear"

SIKE

Fanfic writers are like crows. If you give them treats (comments) they will bring you shiny things (fanfic)

I thought this said cows and thought, "Okay, tell me more..."

Fandom creators are like cows, some people think you can just milk them for content, but actually they need enrichment (comments) and a nice pasture to graze on (kudos/likes) and they secretly also like cuddles (asks about their fic/art)

Fandom creators are like cows= all cuties.

gamers aren’t so much a sub culture as they are a group of people that marketers were able to create so they could sell more expensive toys

Which subcultures weren’t invented by marketers though

the yakuza

PADME AMIDALA costume appreciation: ▶ The Phantom Menace [7/9] (costume design by Trisha Biggar)