my only strongly-held yu-gi-oh headcanon is that, in the universe of the dub, yugi is partially jewish. this is for two reasons:

1. his grandfather’s name is solomon (again, just in the universe of the dub), and i’ve never met a goy named solomon

2. how hilarious would it be to sit through a passover seder with an ancient pharaoh riding shotgun in your head

Other evidence:

Checkout - Caroline Bird

woops

any time i see someone say “Pikuach Nefesh” i read it as “Pikachu Nefesh” and i can’t stop 😭

PikaJew

[image: pikachu edited to have a talit, peyot, and a black hat. End id]

Pikuach Nefesh (פיקוח נפש) is the Jewish principle that preserving a person's life and health is more important than (almost) any other commandment.

Pikachu Nefesh is when your Pokemon powers up a defibrillator or electric car or generator to help save a life on Shabbat.

i feel like a lotta people are wildly unhappy and resistant to the concept that the answer to most things is "well, it depends"

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

Note: the rockets are not being launched into the sun, or even at the sun. They will be launched into the Earth's ionosphere, as they are studying (Earth) atmospheric peturbations in the eclipse path (on Earth).

During the total eclipse.

The name's still fucking reckless, though.

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

An old Jewish lady ducks into a church one night during a sudden rain shower. The priest comes in while she’s waiting out the rain and says, “you can’t be here, we don’t allow your kind in here.”

So the lady stands up and grabs the baby jesus statue from their nativity scene and says, “come along bubbala, you heard the man, we aren’t allowed in here”

-my grandmother’s favorite joke

A rabbi goes to see his friend the bishop. “Listen,” he says, “there’s something I’ve never quite understood about the Catholic church. it’s hierarchical, right?”

“Right,” says the bishop. 

“So,” says the rabbi, “if you do a really great job as a bishop, you might become…what?”

“Well,” says the bishop, “if I’m fortunate, I might become an archbishop.”

“And if you do a really great job as an archbishop?”

“I suppose, someday, I could even be a cardinal.”

“And if you do a really great job as a cardinal?”

“I guess after that I could, theoretically, become the Pope.”

“And if you do a really great job as the Pope?”

“What would you expect me to become after the Pope?” says the bishop, who’s starting to get a little annoyed. “God Himself?”

The rabbi shrugs. “Well,” he says “one of our boys made it.” 

I know another one.

One night at a nunnery the nuns are woken by loud singing and drunken revelry. They look and see its some Jews celebrating one thing or another just outside.

“You can’t be here!” The nuns say angrily. “This is disrespectful, don’t you know we are the brides of Christ?”

“oh, then that’s no issue, we’re from the groom’s side!”

This isn't my official design but I'm planning on doing a painting series of Jewish mythological creatures and this is my first golem design idea

it’s not against halacha, technically, but it is a dick move

Recently started making little Kiln Spirits to watch over other ceramic pieces during the firing process <3

XII. The Hanged Man

Prev tags are brilliant.

" ::stares at this in Goth:: "

- the talmud, probably

Call that teacup olam

eagle: so what do you think about stigmata

prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.

eagle: stigma talons in your flesh

— Harold Kushner, To Life!: A Celebration of Jewish Being and Thinking

I love memetic communication when it gets to the point of being incomprehensible because can you imagine showing someone this picture

And asking them what Greek god it represents

#my favourite part is the people in the notes being like 'the god of children's hospitals' to be contrary#because the ball is Red#bc like. do. do they know what one of Apollo's areas of Being The God Of This Thing are?#healing and diseases#also he's like#the god of Youths#so like.yeah.#Apollo IS the god of children's hospitals actually Via @mothmammoth​