clearly even monarchs thought some parts on monarchy was dumb because there’s so many kings being like god how do i legally deny my idiot son the throne

the king: nothing matters more than the preservation of my glorious dynasty

also the king: i hate my sons so much it’s unbelievable

me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don’t know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.

But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it ‘RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy’?

Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of ‘bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun’, but sometimes I say ‘hey rabbits, my sister’s gonna go to med school’ because I think everyone should know.

I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you’re so cute such a cute hello hello yess you’re good” and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.

https://xkcd.com/231/

ACCURATE.

why is it when my cat is sleeping i cannot resist the urge to touch her just so i can hear the Cat Activation Noise

my cat: *sleeping peacefully* me: *plunges my fingers into her soft, soft fur just so i may hear the Murps*

“Okay listen up folks we have a security situation here- -”

what if instead of “7 minutes in heaven” theres a “7 minutes in hell” and what you do is you put 2 people in a closet for 7 mins and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other 

this person’s response to being constantly assaulted by their own cats is to hide inside an enclosed tent in their living room

everyone talks about “did you put your name in the goblet of fire” being the worst book to movie dialogue fail but lets be real the worst is where hermione answers a question in class and snape calls her an “insufferable know-it-all” and in the book ron is furious and he goes OFF and says “you asked a question and she knows the answer! why ask if you don’t want to be told?” but in the movies they just make him say “he’s got a point, you know” and i’m still mad about it

yall: anakin is a slytherin cause that’s where all the villains go

anakin: not even cunning enough to think to ask palpatine why he knows a sith legend

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

I had a dream about bakeoff except they were all cooking increasingly weird stuff until they got to the last guy and Paul asked ‘what are you serving’ and his response was just ‘these hands’ and then he knocked Paul Hollywood out on national television

"When Shelley's corpse washed ashore, a friend identified it by a copy of Keats's 1820 volume in the coat pocket, which he knew Shelley had taken with him. Then, after cremation in which Shelley's heart, hardened by calcium, did not burn, this same friend snatched it from the embers and presented it to Mary Shelley, who kept it thereafter in her desk, wrapped in a copy of 'Adonais."

Here’s your morbid literary fact of the day.

jesus christ, i will never be this goth.

Mary Shelley’s father taught her to spell her name by taking her to the graveyard and having her trace the letters on her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s gravestone.

NO ONE will ever be as goth.

didnt she also have sex on said grave

She lost her virginity on her mother’s grave yes

… that’s it we can all go home, peak goth was achieved before we even started.

JSTOR confirms it: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3177447

Mary Freaking Shelley is None More Goth personified.

@mama-germany Achieve maximum goth

@saarebitch

If I fail to reblog this, assume I’m stuck in my crypt, and someone needs to come help me.

She also wrote a post-apocalyptic science fiction novel focusing on the extinction of the human race and the meaninglessness of existence. In 1826.

Oh, and this isn’t especially goth, but my God, I respect her for this:

The more I learn about Mary Shelley the more I love her

I mean makes sense that she was supportive of her non-straight friends because like she and her husband had an open relation ships and he definitely slept with other men (Lord Byron) and there’s a decent chance that Mary Shelley may have at the very least kissed other women

So she was an LGBT ally icon as well as the Mother of Science Fiction. Adding her to my list of heroes.

(also @garrettauthor sorry I keep tagging you, but I feel you’d like this.)

Oh my god do I ever like this.

me: its just a game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me after one (1) loss: