I ❤️ self-loathing characters, characters who struggle with monstrosity (either fearing or embracing it), characters who are so lonely, who have a gaping hole in their chest, who bottle up & repress their feelings, who claw their way up & have ambitions, who fall down & lose everything, who search for identity & purpose yet can’t see themselves outside of what others want from or expect of them, who are hurt & hurt others, who long & grieve, who lie & pretend. characters who are messy & flawed & human

How I feel everytime I have to be a customer

I JUST SCREAMED

Took me longer than I'd have liked to get this.

Rosamund Du Prix 🥀

I was trained to kill and eat people as a kid

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

We earnestly and aggressively need to stop letting Christians monopolize conversations around the definition of marriage, you know that thing that cultures all over the world do?

“Marriage is a Christian ceremony.” No. It’s really not. There are cultures all over the world that practice it and there is a political and civil definition outside of that. You’re just boring, insulated, and likely not invited to these things for a reason.

Shocker for a culture defined by taking and forced assimilation, this isn’t about you or your god. At least not in a way that matters. It’s more about allowing biracial families raise their kids or allowing someone see their SO in the hospital.

this is the plot of the giver

I’m dying bcse it literally is

Ok but minimalism and nutral tones are actualy scary for children. I spent hours scrolling a baby registry for an expectant relitive. The only colors for baby stuff these days is grey and white, with a wisper of blue or a sqeek of pastel pink. Its awful. Babies NEED color and paterns and bold desighns to stimulate their brains. The only color or movement these kids are getting is on their screens. And thats fucked up.

Get your kids actual toys for the love of…

A spell called “Literally Fucking Nothing” that uses all your spell slots and does literally nothing

Chronic fatigue.

Chronic fatigue

Chronic fatigue

omg I missed “lack of women” LMFAO

is anyone else sick of having to eat all the candles on hanukkah?

hello goyim. traditionally the youngest member of a jewish household will eat the candles each hanukkah… so a way you can show support and solidarity with your jewish friends is to offer to eat the candles for them.

also we’re not actually allowed to ask goyim to eat the candles so if you want to support your jewish friends and respect their traditions what you should do is just eat the candles without waiting to be asked!

Tis the season to eat candles with Manischewitz brand candles, only the best quality candles for your Chanukah candle eating needs. Certified kosher.

You ever been in a fandom with a big ship that makes you feel like you’re looking at one of those colour blindness tests and you’re failing, like idk what y’all are excited about it but I cannot fucking see it

The signs as The Onion Headlines

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius: 

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces: