The last important Ace Attorney Event in 2019 happens today!

i haven’t stopped thinking about this since last night

*hands you this*

not to flex on anyone but i’ve never wanted to fuck a serial killer

Jfc that kitty parade music justmakes it hilarious

I can’t believe this is an actual event that has taken place.

with the music that might actually be the most surreal thing i’ve ever watched

@empiereal

Holy shit, Bernie just popped off on the Senate floor

Transcript: And now I find that some of my Republican colleagues are very distressed. They’re very upset that somebody who is making ten, twelve bucks an hour might end up with a paycheck—for four months!—more than they received last week. Oh my G-d! The universe is collapsing. 

Imagine that. Somebody who’s making 12 bucks an hour, now like the rest of us, faces an unprecedented economic crisis, with the 600 bucks on top of their normal- their regular unemployment check- might be making a few bucks more for four months. Oh my WORD! Will the universe survive? 

How absurd and wrong is that? What kind of value system is that? Meanwhile, these very same folks had no problem, a couple years ago, voting for a trillion dollars in tax breaks for billionaires and large profitable corporations! Not a problem! 

But when it comes to low-income workers in the midst of a terrible crisis, maybe some of them earning or having more money than they previously made- [tongue clicks] oh my word we gotta strip that out. Gotta- we gotta tell those poor people that no matter what- 

By the way when this bill, when the McConnell bill first came up, unbelievably, and I know many Republicans objected to this, they were saying that well we wanna give a, whatever it was, a thousand or twelve hundred bucks, but poor people should get less. 

You see, because poor people are down here, they don’t deserve- they don’t eat. They don’t pay rent. They don’t go to the doctor; they’re somehow inferior, because they’re poor we’re gonna give them less. 

Well that was addressed. Now everybody is gonna get the 1200 dollars. But some of our Republican friends still have not given up of the need to punish the poor and working people. 

You haven’t raised the minimum wage in ten years! Minimum wage should be at least fifteen bucks an hour, you haven’t done that! 

You’ve cut program, after program, after program, and now horror of horrors, for four months, workers might be earning a few bucks more than they otherwise would. Well needless to say, this— (audio cuts off as video ends).

It fucking worked by the way.

(source: https://twitter.com/RespectableLaw/status/1243034614362525696)

Bernie made sure the unemployment increase wasn’t struck down and got more restriction placed on the corporate fund. He did. He fucking did it. Don’t let anyone tell you this man can’t get shit done. He’s a fucking hero

gonna apply pokemon types to stuff that’s not pokemon

sidenote:this literally happened, in a small town named Cowbridge🤔

via countryhomemagazine@instagram

“bad bunny wore a shirt that says “they killed alexa. not a man in a skirt.” and a skirt to bring light to the death of the transgender woman that was killed a few days ago in puerto rico. i love him so much for this “

-  #JIMIN⁷ 

I dont listen to him but this…this is huge, y'all. This guy is a trendsetter right now for South Americans. Every single family member I have under 40 yrs old is obsessed with Bad Bunny. I gasped when I read this. A latino celebrity of his stature, someone that’s super cool, coming out against transphobia is so wild to me. I’m in shock. Kudos to him.

to the casual observer it may look like i'm trying to summon a demon but anyone who knows me will realize that i am simply calling my wife

The wife and the demon are the same person

The fact that these replies would mean wildly different thing had they been said on a different platform, such as Facebook, is absolutely hilarious

me before getting to the end of this post

GET IT KING

there’s this church sign i pass every day that says “hurt people hurt people” and i know it’s supposed to mean like “people who are hurt, hurt people” but it sounds like a command

HURT PEOPLE

HURT PEOPLE

The secret 11th and 12th commandments

ATTACK

KILL

lie to HIS face

Play with HIS feelings

#lifecomesatyoufast

IM SCREAMING LEJDJD

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

cats: purr when they are content

rats:

i’m sorry????????

rat owners call it “boggling” or “boogling”

it’s really because their happy response is to grind their teeth loudly, called “bruxing,” so when they get really really into bruxing it just happens to flex the right muscles to push their eyeballs in and out